ellen24 Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I posted on here a lot this summer about the "break" that my ex of five and 1/2 years went on in mid july. he had just gotten out of jail after 3 something years, during which i stuck by him, and started flipping out when he got home, saying he needed space, wanted to move out, and that it had nothing to do with me but needed to be alone. i found out that he took another girl to dinnner, so kicked him out and we went on a break. the first three weeks were hell. he was a jerk, and would call only when he wanted something. suddenly in mid-august, things started getting better. he started asking me out on weekends and staying the whole weekend until i would drop him off on suday night. a couple of time i asked what was going on with us and he just said he still needed space but he though twe would end up together. and for some reason, i was ok with this, i think b/c of his circumstance of getting out of jail. so for the past month he has made an effort to spend the weekend with me and has been very sweet with me. i ahve been laidback though and wouldn't really ask him who he went out with if he said he went out or things like that. also, he started saying i love you again beginning right before labor day (he stopped satying that when we went on the break) i started saying it back and we were in this pattern of texting at night saying things like , goodnight baby, i love you and likewise in the morning. two weeks ago, i told him the break was harder on me than him b/c he knew where he stood with me but i didn't know where i stood with him. he replied" you shou know baby. i love you." then i said i waited for you the whole time and you bailed on me and he said "' i didn't bail. i'm right here.'" anyway, so last weekend i suggested we go to the movies. he said he was going to brooklyn but let's do it sat. on sat we spoke and he said he had to cancel the movies cause was goign to him mom's for the weekend but that he missed me and loved me. on sunday, same thing. i said i had missed him this weekend and he ws sooooo sweet and said he would make it up and promise to come see me that week. we ended up with him saying i love you. that was the first weekend we hadn't seen each other and i was happy that even though i didn't see him, it seemed like he cared that he didn't see me too. plus, how can you fight with a guy for going to see his mom. so the next day, i am at work and his grandmother who he now lives with calls me... she was worried and mad and said he hadn't been home since friday, had i seen him. i said he was in brooklyn on fri and went to nj on sat. she said she talked to his brother who said he he didn't think he had been in jersey....soooo where the hell was he??? brother said he had slept at his girlfriend's all weekend so maybe my ex was there, maybe not, so ob i called him, texted him to tell him about grandmo.. no repsonse until 11 at night when i called him again. he was out and had not even gone home from work yet. i was like, where where you, did you go to jers, are you home yet etc. he was mad and mean and said he was out and it was none of my business to ask where he was. so i sent him some texts syaing that i only called b/c of his grandma and didn't want to fight so was going to bed. wed he calls and says he was thinking he had been mean to me. i he was buys at work but said he ws thinking of me. I told him i had to talk to him in person and i was going to say i couldn't deal with his hot and cold beahvior and needed to know where i stood. thurs he texts me in the morning 'good morning baby" but never calls me, so i called him on friday and we had casual conversation but he was still cold. so on sat, he calls me and leaves me a message. i called back and he was cold. then i texted him with some exciting news and he called me right away but when he tried to hang up after the news, i was like what is your problme. why are you so cold. he said he didn't like me questioning him. i said i only did it b/c his 90 year old grandmo called ME at WORK, and why couldn't he understand that it was hard for me that he is so cold and then says i love you and calls you baby the next moment. THEN he has the nereve to say to me," m,aybe you shouldn't say those things to me anymore." so i said " i only say them b/c you do and he says " then maybe i shouldn't say those things anymore to you." blah, blah, blah. i was like you said i love you first. i stopped saying it to you and yes, don;t say it if you don't mean it and then he says "' i think we need to sit down and have a long talk." so i said " if you don't want to talk to me, then why don't you just say it now." no response. so i said whatever. i will talk to you soon. the thing is, first of all, i feel like i got totally screwed over AGAIN for letting him into my hear again. just two weeks ago he was saying when he got this money that is owed to him, would go shopping and go out to a nice dinner. second, so we have one bad day about his grandma and he TOTALLY turns on me. personaly, i think he emt someone in the past couple of weeks and is now feelign secure enough to move on. we share a cell plan so i don't see who he calls but he is on the phone for hours and it certainly not with me! i really don't understand how i was duped again though. how he can go from one day saying he loves me, i'm so sweet and he can't wait to see me, until the next day, he is so freakin cold. i ahve not heard from him and although i want to, i will NOT call him. i think if i don't hear from him in a coupld of days, there is not even a point in having " a talk." first, i felt like i was waiting for a death sentence, but now i am so mad that he turned the tables on me after I suggested the talk. advice to others, do NOT do what i did. you want to hold on and seeing them makes you ahppy, but in less you are getting one hundred percent of what you deserve, don't fall for it. I do think that if i had cut him off compltely, he loved me and needed me enough in the beginning that he would have been back, but at this point, the break ahs been 10 weeks, and he is used to living his life without me. sure, he may miss me sometimes, but not like he would have had i disappeared on him right when he started acting like a jerk. oh, and btw, we had a really nice relationship with a lot of trust and love and i think i was too understanding bc of his circumstance. i am really amd at myslef b/c i feel i lost the one thing that i wanted most.
Geishawhelk Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Yes, but you found something too. The courage to blast him off, stand on your own two feet, be independent and not get pushed over any more. Self-esteem's a great jacket - everyone should wear it with pride!
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