mlchris2 Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Well here's the situation... A married woman in the group of friends I hang with is un-happily married. It's the typical "not going to work" marriage, for several reasons. I went through the same situation before, I've been giving her advice and just letting her vent when she needs too. I will say this, the first night I was introduced to her, I was attracted to her. One night about month ago, she came onto me, it was just a makeout session. I told her that I dont feel right about this because she still is married and out of respect for her and her hubby, I have to ask her to stop. She respected my decision and nothing ever came of it. Well the other night she came onto me again. This time around, it was more than just a makeout session, although I didnt sleep with her... for the same reason I gave her before. Well this fooling around went on for about a week. I talked to her about it and she seems really confused with her marriage and all the emotions that come with a soon to be divorce, but really is starting to like me, etc. I told her I was beginning to like her too, loved the fooling around, but my decision still stands... until she is divorced. I asked her what she was expecting and she doesnt think its smart to get involved right after a divorce. I agree with her. But she cant stop thinking about me and doesnt want to stop. I'm lost on what to do and come searching for advice...??? Could I see myself in a relationship with her if her marriage doesnt work out? YES, but not right after, thats disaster waiting to happen. Is she what I'm searching for? YES, she's got the qualities in a woman in which I desire. Am I concerned that this is just fun and I or she will end up getting hurt? YES, in the short term. MC
winter Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 YES, she's got the qualities in a woman in which I desire. really? is being able to lie and cheat a quality in a woman that you seriously desire? think about what you're getting yourself into!
Owl Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Has a divorce been filed? Have they seperated? If no...then she's just playing you to fool around.
Karma101 Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I talked to her about it and she seems really confused with her marriage and all the emotions that come with a soon to be divorce, but really is starting to like me, etc. RED FLAG, RED FLAG! Read some of my recent posts and my experience with a separated man. Sadly, it did not go in my favor and they have decided to work on their marriage. Don't invest youself with this woman until her divorce is final. And even then, expect her to have some emtotional baggage to deal with and not be ready for a relationship. Be her friend right now. Let her rebound w/ someone else.
Author mlchris2 Posted October 2, 2008 Author Posted October 2, 2008 Winter - We talked about this and you bring up a very valid point. If we were to get involved with each other, could we trust each other, knowing both of us were dishonest in a relationship? This is a big one for me. I guess I would have to put trust in someone I am with not to be unfaithful or respect me enough to approach me before hand. It's a tough thing to swallow for sure. Owl - No papers have been filed. Karma - I am trying to respect boundaries and trying to be more of a friend right now. That's what she needs. Even though we get physical at times. Im trying to be smart here and not let emotions take control. She is in a tough spot and confused. Why does this happen? I mean I can understand she being done after 5 years in a horrible marriage. I often wonder if some higher power is testing me to see how good of a person I really am and if I am true to my morals. thanks for the advice. I think I know what to do and how to approach the situation from here.
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