MRevolver Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I see a lot of guides to NC floating about but I was wondering if anyone had any strategies for those of us who have to have limited contact with the exes. And in my case, with not only his ex but his new SO as well-sometimes both of them at once. We belong to the same organization and the majority of our friends are mutual ones. No Contact is virtually impossible and even if I could do that, we're residents of a very small town. There will be a run-in at some point. I've tried several methods of dealing with the contact we have to have. I tried doing 'NC' even despite us having to be around each other. And that all but blew up in my face because he just followed me around until I talked to him!! Then yesterday I decided to talk to him and even went so far as to take a picture of he and the other girl together, just to show that I was (seemingly) ok with things but still, nothing seems to make me feel much better...and it's been almost 2 months! Some days it's bareable while other days it's just downright annoying. If I try to ignore him, he goes out of his way to make me talk to him. Then if I pay him attention, he just throws this new girl in my face. That or if we speak, the great connection that we share just rises up again and then it scares him to the point he bolts in the direction of his stupid friend that sabotaged our relationship in the first place and ignores me. So while I'm on the subject...let me add fuel to this already ridiculous fire. To further complicate matters, I recently found out that apparently he didn't want to break things off with me in the first place but listenend to the really, really, crappy advice of a 'friend' who convinced him that I was too old for him (7 yrs) and too experienced, etc. So now I question if this girl he's with is just a rebound and if that's actually why he continues to act the way he does when we're together. Whatever the case, I figure the best thing for me to do right now is move forward. Any thoughts or suggestions on how to deal with this??
Mike B. Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I see a lot of guides to NC floating about but I was wondering if anyone had any strategies for those of us who have to have limited contact with the exes. And in my case, with not only his ex but his new SO as well-sometimes both of them at once. We belong to the same organization and the majority of our friends are mutual ones. No Contact is virtually impossible and even if I could do that, we're residents of a very small town. There will be a run-in at some point. I've tried several methods of dealing with the contact we have to have. I tried doing 'NC' even despite us having to be around each other. And that all but blew up in my face because he just followed me around until I talked to him!! Then yesterday I decided to talk to him and even went so far as to take a picture of he and the other girl together, just to show that I was (seemingly) ok with things but still, nothing seems to make me feel much better...and it's been almost 2 months! Some days it's bareable while other days it's just downright annoying. If I try to ignore him, he goes out of his way to make me talk to him. Then if I pay him attention, he just throws this new girl in my face. That or if we speak, the great connection that we share just rises up again and then it scares him to the point he bolts in the direction of his stupid friend that sabotaged our relationship in the first place and ignores me. So while I'm on the subject...let me add fuel to this already ridiculous fire. To further complicate matters, I recently found out that apparently he didn't want to break things off with me in the first place but listenend to the really, really, crappy advice of a 'friend' who convinced him that I was too old for him (7 yrs) and too experienced, etc. So now I question if this girl he's with is just a rebound and if that's actually why he continues to act the way he does when we're together. Whatever the case, I figure the best thing for me to do right now is move forward. Any thoughts or suggestions on how to deal with this?? I am in a silmilar situation. My ex, her new BF, and I worked together in the same isolated environment at work. I have to run into them everyday all day. I just keep my head high and do my work. I have not said one single word to my ex since we broke up three weeks ago. I speak to her new BF though all of the time. I can tell it makes him feel awkward and that is partly why it's enjoyable. My ex often find us working in the same small room together and she seems a little nervous by it. :-) Who says you to conversate with your ex? I think no contact overrides all else at this point. If he follows you around just ask him not to. If my ex try to talk to me I plan on just telling her that I really don't have much to say and then tell her that I have to get back to work now. You don't have to talk to him. I think it is very rude and tasteless of him to talk about his new ex to you.
Author MRevolver Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 I am in a silmilar situation. My ex, her new BF, and I worked together in the same isolated environment at work. I have to run into them everyday all day. I just keep my head high and do my work. I have not said one single word to my ex since we broke up three weeks ago. I speak to her new BF though all of the time. I can tell it makes him feel awkward and that is partly why it's enjoyable. My ex often find us working in the same small room together and she seems a little nervous by it. :-) Who says you to conversate with your ex? I think no contact overrides all else at this point. If he follows you around just ask him not to. If my ex try to talk to me I plan on just telling her that I really don't have much to say and then tell her that I have to get back to work now. You don't have to talk to him. I think it is very rude and tasteless of him to talk about his new ex to you. Thanks for the comment. I completely agree that trying to do the no contact thing will be best. A lot of time we have to work on various projects together, so that's why I have to talk to him at some point. I actually have nothing against the girl he's now seeing and will speak to her but once again, if he sees that it's like he feels the need to come over and join. But yeah, definitely gonna try to cold turkey things as much as possible. Even if it means pulling away from our mutual friends a bit. Gotta do what I gotta do.
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