meeting the ex outcome.

[The_411]

Eugene,

 

F her and f her parents.

 

To be a man you need to do what a man does from now on.

 

Who the F cares what her parents say it's your issue your mistake. You go over knowck on the door and ask for the ring.

 

THen you wipe her from your memeory.

 

She's dragging this out so you'll be less inclined to ask for the ring back and will let it drop. She'll either sell the ring for cash or keep until she meets another guy and use for that marriage.

 

You spends your hard earned money which was undoubtly a lengthy period of time.

 

There is no hope for reconciliation you do not want anything to do with her.

 

As an aside why in the woirld are you spending $14k on a ring? Unless you are making enough money and money is burning a hole in your pocket there's no reason to be spending that kind of money for a ring.

 

You should be saving that excess money on a house down payment.

[2sure]

What everyone is telling you regarding your legal right to the ring in 100% correct. Lawyers and even some jewelers will tell a man never to give an engagement ring on a birthday or holiday so that it can never be construed as a gift. Other than that, it is a form of contract. If the marriage doesnt happen - its yours. Because of the value, legally it must be returned to you.

 

She is manipulating you, enjoys the drama of holding this over your head. She is materialistic and wants the ring, not you. When she gets bored with it, or receives another - she will sell it.

 

Do her and yourself a favor - simply find and copy the legal standpoint of your right to the ring. Mail it to her, copy her father because she clearly relies on her parents, and offer to not take her to court if the ring is returned to you promptly.

 

This will finish off all the drama, give you the closure you need, and force your hand in accepting the facts.

[BackonTrack]

Hey bro, don't listen to these dumb females and their input. They are morons and idots.

 

Forget about the RING dude, you already gave it to her. You should of NOT gave it to her. My whoring EX girlfriend cheated on me for a GOOD 6 months, then cried and cried and blah blah blah about how she's sorry blah blah blah but in the end that whore came to visit me and gave me a piece of literature which made me get so angry, its like she was trying to make me remember her for the good times we had but in reality all it did was make me so angry because at the time I was thinking "You stupid whore, why are you reminding me of what I can't have" that dumb whore, wasn't even worrying about me, she was worrying about leaving a good image.

 

Anyway as about you, well GO GET THE ****ING RING BACK. ITS YOUR ****ING RING. SHE LEFT YOU, SHE ****ING LEFT YOU, SHE LEFT YOU.

 

WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? SHE ****ING LEFT YOU AND IS PROBABLY sucking some guy's cock right now..

 

So lets get this straight,

You guys had something special

She broke your heart.

 

Then you go over there and give her an engagement ring, well I was like you, when me and my ex broke up, I had allot of love left for her in my heart, I gave her all the things I had owed her during the course of our relationship,

 

ipod, wireless router, foreign cake, 4 bottles of lotion (expensive lotion) like in one big package, but I mean those are petty items. You gave her an ENGAGEMENT RING, you gave her an ENGAGEMENT RING to a women who is not your women.

 

What the hell are you doing?

 

GO OVER THERE, Get your ****ing ring back, tell that whore to give it back to you, if she refuses, kick down the door and go take it.

 

Tell her your mind was messed up and you wasn't thinking and u need that thing for your future wife which is not her. She will understand and if she doesn't **** her.

 

Get your ****ing ring back you pussy

[ahhhchooo]

What BackOnTrack said.. without the swearing/insults

[Lishy]

Hey Backontrack ... Ever considered a little bit of anger management?

 

I wonder why your gf cheated on you, you seem like such a lovely boy, your parents must be very proud of you!

[BackonTrack]

Lishy,

MY ex cheated on me because she was a very dumb bored who liked to suck cock. She liked it when you cum in her face.

 

What did she say? It contains proteins, its good for the skin.

 

As far your subliminal insults goes, well Lishy, who says cheating is acceptable anyhow? I was faithful to the girl. The least she could of did was break up with me before starting a new relationship. She was so good, she maintain my pre-existing relationship

 

That would of been nice....

 

Infact I am a very lovely boy, I get compliments all the time. What I don't stand for is women using men as ponds, as sexual objects for their own selfish reasons, not knowing the extent of hurt they are causing the person they supposely love. I believe that is what you call being nieave.

 

This person in question may have given her the ring in hopes of getting back together because he is still clearly in-love with that girl. That is very clear and we all know why he gave her the ring. What I am attempting to do with words is motive this indivdual to stand up for himself and stop being a doormat-nice guy to this ex-finance. I want him to realize that its over and that he should not give an engagement ring to someone who clearly does not want to be with him.

 

You on the other hand, appears to not be helping the situtation and is making comments about "Oh, he just wants to use it as a excuse to see her, yada yada yada" when infact you should be telling him "Leave her alone, go get your ring back" but your a silly female, I bet you have cheated on your boyfriends in the past huh, I bet you thought they deserved it too huh?

 

You appear to not be giving advice to his current situtation, you appear to be watching this thread as some sort of commendy and then say things that we clearly already know. What you should be doing is telling this guy, why he should take the ring back but you cannot relate because you are a female and probably don't realizre what is happening to him.

 

He is desperately trrying to conciously or subconvicosouly make the girl whom he loves come back to him. What he should be doing is going ovver there, kicking in her door, getting the ring back and saving it for someone who will cherish him and love him. Now since I have gotton that rherotic out the waym, lishy you can lick my balls.

 

Dude go get your ****ing ring back. Its a engagemenrt ring and your not getting married so go get that **** vback or IF you two left on GOOD TERMS let her keep it so she can wonder what if. If you really really awnt to gert back with her, let her keep it, cross her out your mind, go NC, then sooner or later she'll show up.

 

When she does, hopefully you would of found someone and she'll be ****ed.

 

If you don't get the ring back she'll always think "Aww he was a nice guy, he even gave me the engagement ring when we were not getting married.Aww look how nice he is to me, aww I can have him whenever I want him.

 

Get your ****ing ring back

 

Dude your in this situtation, obvisouly you are not thinking rational or else u would of not gave her the ring, so only you can decide what you want to do.

 

 

 

 

Hey Backontrack ... Ever considered a little bit of anger management?

 

I wonder why your gf cheated on you, you seem like such a lovely boy, your parents must be very proud of you!

[Lishy]

Go and knock on her door and ask for it! Dont warn her,just go and get it!

 

Get this over with and then try to move on

 

Backontrack, I do not see this as a comedy in any way, shape or form! I was trying to get the OP to move on - He chose to give her the ring back after he had spent ages getting it back in the first place! He had his own reason for that so he should not be upset that she has the ring as HE GAVE IT TO HER AGAIN!

 

For the record I have never cheated in my life and do not condone cheating in any way.

 

You sound like a vile mouthed angry BOY and your vile potty mouth is not wanted here (or anywhere probably) If this is your idea of 'motivating' I would hate to see you be negative!

 

Maybe with your attitude all you can get is (in your words) whores? Dont you be projecting your anger on decent people - The OP has been just as hurt as you, as have many people here, but I dont see anyone else mouthing off in the way you have!

 

Grow up and go clap your gums elsewhere!

 

Oh and if you dont mind, I will pass on the offer of licking your balls!

[2sure]

BackOnTrack:

 

I'm laughing because at first glance in reading your response, I kind of wrote it off as an angry rant from someone not insightful. But then I read it word for word.

 

You called it exactly like it is. And you answered with the rightousness and passion and frustration the situation deserves.

 

I'd take your advice.

[Al_Bundy]

Hello,

 

Well this is my final thread on this situation. I met with the ex this pst weekend after being broken up 6 months to get my things from her. I met her and we went out to dinner and had drinks. The whole time she was acting mean and blaming and bringing up the things i did wrong to her while we were together. She basically said she feels and has no feelings for me anymore and i need to understand that and move on from her. She said that to much has happened and that she will stay in my life but as a friend and she does not want to talk about our relationship or that i have changed when we talk as friends.

 

She towards the end let me kiss her on the lips a few times and hunged me.

 

After an entire evening of blaming you, why would you even want to be near her, much less kiss her?

 

Man up!!!

 

 

On the way to taking her to her car i read a letter to her that i wrote and she started to tear up and cry. She then asked where "her" engagement ring was. I had the ring in the car since i brought it with me to sell at the store the next day. She then started to cry about the ring and took it out the box and looked at it and yelled at me for it being so dirty.

 

LOL!! this girl has "psycho" written all over her. This is a good thing that you 2 are broken up.

 

 

I said what does it matter to you. She said that its hers and she does not want somoneone else to have it or for me to sell it so she should take it.

 

thats not her decision. She doesn't want you, therefore the ring belongs to you.

 

 

Min later i let her take it and she left. 2 hours later she left me a txt asking if i was ok and i said yes but i made a mistake and i need the ring back. The issue is i went there to close things out with her and get my things now she has the ring that is way more valuable that i can not let her keep and i told her that and i told her i need it back. I suggested next month or in a few weeks to mee to get it and she said she is busy maybe the new year we can meet to get it.

 

You're never going to see that ring again.

 

There is no reason she can't meet you somewhere for 5 minutes just to give it back and even if it was a matter of distance, there is no reason she can't mail it to you.

 

She is full of it.

 

Is there anything of real value that you have of hers?? I'd call her and tell her if she can't meet you somewhere for 5 minutes to mail it to you.

 

And if you have something of value of hers, call her and let her know that she can have it back once you have the ring.

[Al_Bundy]

Yeah dude drive to her place and get the ring, she has no reason to 'play fair'. CYA

 

yes, drive there when you know she will come home, and then tell her to go get it.

[eugene3]

Thank you all for you help and suggestions. I will get the ring back and thats a fact. There are things i can do if she gives up a fight to return it. Honestly she has made it very clear its over but why she would want the ring and why would she want to wait until the new year to deal with it. If i was her i would leave no ties between us meaning give the other person no reason to have contact. I would not want to deal with this in 2009... i think she is stringing me along to make her self feel better in case she finds no one she is interested in so she still has me.

 

thanks again every one!

[2sure]

Thats just not good enough Eugene. You are going to have to come back here with that ring to prove to us you got it!

 

LOL

[Terminator]

Thank you all for you help and suggestions. I will get the ring back and thats a fact. There are things i can do if she gives up a fight to return it. Honestly she has made it very clear its over but why she would want the ring and why would she want to wait until the new year to deal with it. If i was her i would leave no ties between us meaning give the other person no reason to have contact. I would not want to deal with this in 2009... i think she is stringing me along to make her self feel better in case she finds no one she is interested in so she still has me.

 

thanks again every one!

 

Eugene, you keep on posting the same thing over and over.

 

Yes, you are all right, yes I need to get the ring back, yes I have to do this - - - then you go on to say "but Whyyyyyyyyyyyy would she Dooooooooooo Thisssssssssss??"

 

She is NOT doing it to keep "ties" to you, she is doing it because you LET her and she's hopeful you'll be enough of a pussy that she gets to keep it.

 

Go knock on her door, damn the "drama" you don't want, let her folks know she HAS the ring and if you don't get it pronto, there will be a law suit.

[Lishy]

He doesnt want to go and get it

 

He wants to send her an email!

[eugene3]

Lishy.... you are so wrong. I over the last 6 months have begged, pleaded, cried, and explained in depth to my ex over and over that i have changed and things can be what they once were... and you know what it got me no where. All it did was show her that i am weak and unstable and girls do not like a weak man. She is to the point that she does not want to hear from me until i have healed and i have not fully healed. She said she will stay in my life but as a friend and nothing more. Honestly i can not be her friend now or ever. I would and will not e-mail her ever again until the ring situation becomes a ongoing issue were a great amount of time has passed. I also am exhausted with all of this. I as of lately am sick of confessing my love and life to someone that does not return the same. So.... the answer to your quote is "no" i do not want to e-mail her and thats the truth.

 

Now to answer the terminator's quote.. i keep asking the same question over and over again because its never answered.. all i get as a answer is to get the ring get the ring and i will touch on that subject in a min. You or anyone on here only share there "opinion" from either past experences or from what i tell and until you or anyone else is in my exact situation from beggining to end can not fully understand. My ex from the very begining has had me confused. When she broke it off it was with a e-mail and why? well because she did not know what to say or how to say it so she hid behind a e-mail. First it was she was breaking it off because of past issues we had but she loved me... then her friends stepped in and bought her a book and helped her get over me convincing her it was best...so then it went to that she was hurting as much as i was but its not going to work.

 

Next it went to i am so wonderful but she has changed and her feelings have changed for me and she did not know how to tell me... what???? so why did she hurt then??? Why because i chased her and made it easier for her to get over me and what we had basically thats why she was hurting because of the history and i kept begging and finally to this last stage were she says i piss her off by calling, texting and e-mailing her that she has moved on and has no more feelings for me and does no love me anymore and she does not know why but all is gone and for me to move on. She basically can care less what i do because it does not affect her. This is why All on here claim NC is the best way so they feel things out and miss you and the times and maybe things get better. Now i am not saying i bothered her every day because i did not but 3 or 4 times a month i sent a e-mail and we talked on the phone.

 

All it did was push her away and knowing that NC is not to get her back but to heal i still did not go NC. I figured the breakup was fresh and i had to try to win her back. I have put myself in a bad spot now.. what i never wanted to happen happened no more feelings for me or desire. Can it all or little resurface yes but its a long shot. 6 months can put a alot of ease with things. Each month/day that passes for her feels easier to be without me. Do i want to continue what has made things worse???? hell no. My best bet is to move on and go complete NC. Is it to late to go NC i don't know but what i do know is she has moved on from me/us and i need to as well and for something if anything comes from me disapearing from her life then great but now i am finally doing it for my own well being not hers or to get her back.

 

An ex will not realize or begin to miss someone or the things they did or the good times they shared if they are still in there life and i was in her life the whole 6 months by contacting her. I know this for her to miss me if she ever does it will take a long time because she honestly believes i will eventually give in and contact her like i have been. The longest i have not bothered her was 5 weeks so results will have to start from there if they ever do. Nothing would bring me more happiness then to have her back but i can not continue to let it hold me back from living my life because she wants me to move on and be happy. I even told her the last time we met that i was talking to someone and she wished me luck and i am not sure that she believes me or not or its just that the feeling of indifference has set in with her but its true i have been involved with someone else.

 

Everyone has there moments of truth and weakness and one day she may but i don't expect much from it or it happening anytime soon. Sooner or later no matter how much you love a person there is a limit and i have reached it. I see this mess differently and that it is what it is and nothing i say or do will change it but a change of heart from her and that can take alot of time if ever. I have took a step back and if i was in her shoes i would feel the same and annoyed just like she is. I would not believe she was seeing someone else because she is chasing me and begging me and also because of my constant contact with her.. yea i have gone 5 weeks but thats not long enough and for her to finally realize i have moved on it will be months from now or even years but thats what i am doing.

 

Now to the ring. Yes she cried to have it wether it be to not wanting to let go or just because she loves the ring but its not because she wants to someday be back with me. My confusion of this is why would she want it? she can never wear it everyone knows of it and she can not sell it and she can only hold it in her jewelery box and what fun is that? In time she will eventually see how pointless it is to have it but for now she has it and it might help her ease of us or something. Now when she took the ring i told her straight up she should not and that its meaning less without the title. I told her hey i came up here to get my things and close things out to cut all ties and she understood that by taking the ring we would meet again to deal with it and she knew this. She knew that things would not be completly over and i would not ever let her keep it. She was well aware. Now wether she wants to see down the road how things pan out and or she wants to save a legit reason to see me again it all does not matter.

 

If i was her i would not have taken it because i even after being told would understand it gives hope to the other person and if i truly wanted to move on with my life and had no feelings for the other person i would not have taken it. (See my confusion)The whole 6 months i pestured her about my clothes she has with e-mail after e-mail and she would not mail it back as i asked many times. So she knew by taking the ring it would be no different and this alone as far as me bothering her and anoying her as she said for my things would be more then enough for me to realize and expect it to continue contact and keep us at the hip.

 

So she has it.. i am not going to let her keep it but for now i want to focus on me and healing. I asked and pushed her to meet me right after and weeks later to get it back and she replied "down the road we will deal with it. I said why deal with the past in the new year??? She stuck to 'down the line' we will because she is busy...yea right. I am and will not at least at this time get her parents involved because its my mistake and hers only and i will deal with it. If her mom and dad knew she has the ring back again because we were engaged for 4 months it will be a disaster and i care for them to much to put them thru it. She knows if i call them i will have the ring back the next day. Let her keep it for while because it will only make it harder to let go.

 

I always believed things happen for a reason and my intention was to not give her the ring back it just happened so fast so if something good comes from it then great but if not then i have moved on from this by then. I already feel better and in feb when she said we could meet i will be even more better. We will see what happens but it will be awhile, let her call me asking to meet to get it back she will realize after 5 months or how ever long i continue to not contact her that maybe i don't care or have truly moved on and we all know only then will she live in reality and begin to wonder.

 

thank you all.

[Lookingforward]

Lishy.... you are so wrong. I over the last 6 months have begged, pleaded, cried, and explained in depth to my ex over and over that i have changed and things can be what they once were... and you know what it got me no where. All it did was show her that i am weak and unstable and girls do not like a weak man. She is to the point that she does not want to hear from me until i have healed and i have not fully healed. She said she will stay in my life but as a friend and nothing more. Honestly i can not be her friend now or ever. I would and will not e-mail her ever again until the ring situation becomes a ongoing issue were a great amount of time has passed. I also am exhausted with all of this. I as of lately am sick of confessing my love and life to someone that does not return the same. So.... the answer to your quote is "no" i do not want to e-mail her and thats the truth.

 

Now to answer the terminator's quote.. i keep asking the same question over and over again because its never answered.. all i get as a answer is to get the ring get the ring and i will touch on that subject in a min. You or anyone on here only share there "opinion" from either past experences or from what i tell and until you or anyone else is in my exact situation from beggining to end can not fully understand. My ex from the very begining has had me confused. When she broke it off it was with a e-mail and why? well because she did not know what to say or how to say it so she hid behind a e-mail. First it was she was breaking it off because of past issues we had but she loved me... then her friends stepped in and bought her a book and helped her get over me convincing her it was best...so then it went to that she was hurting as much as i was but its not going to work.

 

Next it went to i am so wonderful but she has changed and her feelings have changed for me and she did not know how to tell me... what???? so why did she hurt then??? Why because i chased her and made it easier for her to get over me and what we had basically thats why she was hurting because of the history and i kept begging and finally to this last stage were she says i piss her off by calling, texting and e-mailing her that she has moved on and has no more feelings for me and does no love me anymore and she does not know why but all is gone and for me to move on. She basically can care less what i do because it does not affect her. This is why All on here claim NC is the best way so they feel things out and miss you and the times and maybe things get better. Now i am not saying i bothered her every day because i did not but 3 or 4 times a month i sent a e-mail and we talked on the phone.

 

All it did was push her away and knowing that NC is not to get her back but to heal i still did not go NC. I figured the breakup was fresh and i had to try to win her back. I have put myself in a bad spot now.. what i never wanted to happen happened no more feelings for me or desire. Can it all or little resurface yes but its a long shot. 6 months can put a alot of ease with things. Each month/day that passes for her feels easier to be without me. Do i want to continue what has made things worse???? hell no. My best bet is to move on and go complete NC. Is it to late to go NC i don't know but what i do know is she has moved on from me/us and i need to as well and for something if anything comes from me disapearing from her life then great but now i am finally doing it for my own well being not hers or to get her back.

 

An ex will not realize or begin to miss someone or the things they did or the good times they shared if they are still in there life and i was in her life the whole 6 months by contacting her. I know this for her to miss me if she ever does it will take a long time because she honestly believes i will eventually give in and contact her like i have been. The longest i have not bothered her was 5 weeks so results will have to start from there if they ever do. Nothing would bring me more happiness then to have her back but i can not continue to let it hold me back from living my life because she wants me to move on and be happy. I even told her the last time we met that i was talking to someone and she wished me luck and i am not sure that she believes me or not or its just that the feeling of indifference has set in with her but its true i have been involved with someone else.

 

Everyone has there moments of truth and weakness and one day she may but i don't expect much from it or it happening anytime soon. Sooner or later no matter how much you love a person there is a limit and i have reached it. I see this mess differently and that it is what it is and nothing i say or do will change it but a change of heart from her and that can take alot of time if ever. I have took a step back and if i was in her shoes i would feel the same and annoyed just like she is. I would not believe she was seeing someone else because she is chasing me and begging me and also because of my constant contact with her.. yea i have gone 5 weeks but thats not long enough and for her to finally realize i have moved on it will be months from now or even years but thats what i am doing.

 

Now to the ring. Yes she cried to have it wether it be to not wanting to let go or just because she loves the ring but its not because she wants to someday be back with me. My confusion of this is why would she want it? she can never wear it everyone knows of it and she can not sell it and she can only hold it in her jewelery box and what fun is that? In time she will eventually see how pointless it is to have it but for now she has it and it might help her ease of us or something. Now when she took the ring i told her straight up she should not and that its meaning less without the title. I told her hey i came up here to get my things and close things out to cut all ties and she understood that by taking the ring we would meet again to deal with it and she knew this. She knew that things would not be completly over and i would not ever let her keep it. She was well aware. Now wether she wants to see down the road how things pan out and or she wants to save a legit reason to see me again it all does not matter.

 

If i was her i would not have taken it because i even after being told would understand it gives hope to the other person and if i truly wanted to move on with my life and had no feelings for the other person i would not have taken it. (See my confusion)The whole 6 months i pestured her about my clothes she has with e-mail after e-mail and she would not mail it back as i asked many times. So she knew by taking the ring it would be no different and this alone as far as me bothering her and anoying her as she said for my things would be more then enough for me to realize and expect it to continue contact and keep us at the hip.

 

So she has it.. i am not going to let her keep it but for now i want to focus on me and healing. I asked and pushed her to meet me right after and weeks later to get it back and she replied "down the road we will deal with it. I said why deal with the past in the new year??? She stuck to 'down the line' we will because she is busy...yea right. I am and will not at least at this time get her parents involved because its my mistake and hers only and i will deal with it. If her mom and dad knew she has the ring back again because we were engaged for 4 months it will be a disaster and i care for them to much to put them thru it. She knows if i call them i will have the ring back the next day. Let her keep it for while because it will only make it harder to let go.

 

I always believed things happen for a reason and my intention was to not give her the ring back it just happened so fast so if something good comes from it then great but if not then i have moved on from this by then. I already feel better and in feb when she said we could meet i will be even more better. We will see what happens but it will be awhile, let her call me asking to meet to get it back she will realize after 5 months or how ever long i continue to not contact her that maybe i don't care or have truly moved on and we all know only then will she live in reality and begin to wonder.

 

thank you all.

 

The posters have ALL told you why she wants the ring - because she's a mercenary little so and so. It isn't a symbol to her, to her it only has monetary value, but god forbid you should either sell it or give it to someone else, because it's "her ring".

 

She doesn't want it because it "means something" to her far as YOU go, get that through your head and you'll be better off.

 

Is that clear enough for you?

[CaliGuy]

I agree with "lookingforward." If the ring meant something pertaining to the OP, then she'd be working towards a resolution to the relationship. See, her words and her actions don't coincide. That is how you know someone is not being truthful with you. If they were, their words would be backed up by their actions.

 

Her words say "The ring means something to me…" but her actions say "It means money, it's about being with you."

 

See, that is the one of the key characteristics when I want to know who is being honest and truthful and who is being a spin-doctor. In every case, the person speaking from the heart followed their words with bona-fied action. Those who were deceptive never did. Every -- single -- case.

 

So to others reading this thread, if you want to know how someone really feels about you, pay attention to their actions. Their words may speak lies but their actions, their actions speak clearly from the heart. If they want to be with you, they'd be with you. If they are not with you and say they want to be, well, then there is your answer.

 

It's the old adage: "Action speaks louder than words…"

[WiseOne1]

I read somewhere in the last couple of post that the ring was worth 14K.

14K??? Get the ring back! If it was anything less than 3,000$ then thats fine, I would say let it go.

 

But hell naw, I think you should defintely get it back, shes trying to use you for a punk, she thinks she can go and **** other guys and get with some other guy and still keep the ring???!!!

 

A marriage ring is sacared, its earned. When people break off marriages they have been known to give back the rings, But her.....She didnt even let the marriage start and she expects to keep the ring!

 

Dude get the ring and leave, now once you get the ring, your in the land of no return. Shes gonna hate your guts for taking the ring back. Then again when you do move on with someone else thats not fair to them to give them somebodys "hand me downs" they deserve a ring that was purchased specifically for them. Its gonna be a time when you get someone new and get over the ex, and how would you feel if they gave you something that was brought for there ex?

 

Bassically to sum it all up, just get the ring back, and I know how you feel so Im not gonna tell you to rush.

[Dominique]

I agree with "lookingforward." If the ring meant something pertaining to the OP, then she'd be working towards a resolution to the relationship. See, her words and her actions don't coincide. That is how you know someone is not being truthful with you. If they were, their words would be backed up by their actions.

 

Her words say "The ring means something to me…" but her actions say "It means money, it's about being with you."

 

See, that is the one of the key characteristics when I want to know who is being honest and truthful and who is being a spin-doctor. In every case, the person speaking from the heart followed their words with bona-fied action. Those who were deceptive never did. Every -- single -- case.

 

So to others reading this thread, if you want to know how someone really feels about you, pay attention to their actions. Their words may speak lies but their actions, their actions speak clearly from the heart. If they want to be with you, they'd be with you. If they are not with you and say they want to be, well, then there is your answer.

 

It's the old adage: "Action speaks louder than words…"

 

 

Everyone, print out and paste the bold-faced comments above to the fridge, recite them every morning, every evening, and live your life (greatly) free of pain as a result.

 

DOM

[CaliGuy]

Thank you, Dom. If there is one thing I have learned from my past failed relationships is simply "actions speak louder than words."

 

Pay attention to what they do, not what they say. Again, their words can be deceptive but their actions speak from the heart.

 

OP, if she really wanted the ring because she wanted to marry you, she would have said yes. She would not have taken the ring and given you a no. You see what I am saying? Her actions and her words conflict.

 

Get your ring back, sell it, pay the bill off and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve be treated...not take you for granted.

 

BTW: That's my biggest pet peeve. The minute someone takes my love for granted in the minute I remove them from my life.

 

Cheers.

[samspade]

For the love of Holy God. I have been a lurker on this site for a couple of years, but have never been motivated to post until now.

 

eugene3, you are in a sorry state as a man right now. If you want that ring back (and for $14-$20G, unless you're Warren Buffett, of course you want it back), you need to fish around in your purse and find your testicles and go and get it. Stop letting this woman push you around.

 

My confusion of this is why would she want it?

 

Why is this confusing to you? She wants it because it has monetary value. It retains absolutely NO sentimental value to her.

 

You are letting her dictate EVERYTHING here. Wait until February? What the hell for? Getting a ring back takes five minutes!! Geez, it didn't take this long in The Lord of the Rings.

 

Do you understand why this woman did not want to marry you? Why would any woman want to spend the rest of her life with someone so lacking in self-assurance and manhood?

 

You keep writing that you believe that "everything happens for a reason." This is the last refuge of the wuss. Everything in your life is happening to you because you are ALLOWING it to happen. You need to take the reins, confront this wh*re, and make very clear to her that the ring was to be hers under the condition that she accepts your engagement - NO EXCEPTIONS. And tell her you're sorry she was unclear about that, but that the ring is not hers to keep and is not hers to borrow, it's yours to do with whatever you want. YOU MUST TELL HER THIS IN PERSON AND BE STRONG AND SURE OF YOUR CONVICTIONS. I doubt you can, though, judging by your posts, because you come across as a man of very weak constitution.

 

And while I'm sure it hurts that she doesn't love you any more, you need to understand that you're not missing out on anything by not marrying this money-grubber. You dodged a bullet, my friend. If this woman's character is so poor that she cannot simply return this ring to you, well, imagine what 50 years of marriage (if it were to last that long) would be like with her. She would have you eating out of her hand and all her friends would laugh at your sorry as$.

 

Nothing would bring me more happiness then to have her back

 

This is the root of your problems, eugene. No other person on this planet is going to make you happy or complete you. You need to be happy with yourself, period. If you're so unhappy because some woman won't "complete" you, why would she WANT to share her life with you? You need to work on yourself and realize that the surest way to attract the opposite sex is to live happily and NOT CARE if you have a woman in your life or not.

 

It looks like you have begun to recognize some of your flaws that led to this debacle. The good news is they are fixable. Your weakness is not inherent, you can work on your confidence and be the man you want to be. The first step is getting this damned ring back immediately so you can shut this awful woman out of your life for good. She is probably showing the ring to her girlfriends and laughing at you right now... "The great thing about THIS ring is I can still f*** any man I want! We should all be so lucky!"

 

The important thing, eugene, is that when you confront her, you are strong and sure, but that you do NOT lose your cool and get angry. There is a difference. You do not want to give this woman any case against you. Maintain your calm, tell her you would like the ring back now, and explain exactly under what pretenses you let her borrow it. Look her in the eyes and let her know that you aren't joking. If she refuses, make very clear to her that if she does not relinquish the ring, she will get a call from your lawyer. Again: Do NOT get angry no matter what buttons she pushes. John Wayne never threw a tantrum.

 

Then, when you get it back, erase this woman from your life. And I mean completely.

 

Good luck.

[eugene3]

I think i found them...lol... I needed that without the slap!!! SAMSPADE.. each day that goes by i gain more understanding and logic that i am to blame to why things are what they are. This has been a ongoing issue for too long, i chased her for too long and all for nothing. I showed weakness to her and she took advantage of it and has been for months. If from the begining she would have said she does not love me anymore like she did weeks ago i would not have even bothered to continue to get her back. She made it seem that she left me because of the mistreatment from me and the issues we were having and i thought i could change that.. you know prove to her i love her and have changed and we can work it out only to have been told recently that she lost all love and feelings for me but did not know how to tell me.

 

She for the first 3 months cried and said how hurt she was because of the breakup and that made me think i could change it. She might not have understood at the time that it was because she lost love for me and that is the reason. Anyway trust me when i say this.... she is gone and not coming back to me ever again and she has said this to me. The ring issue is my fault. I let her take it to calm her heart and try to let her see what she is doing to us. Instead she continues to bring up mean things i have done to her and all the things that went wrong with us but then she will say she does not want to takl about "us" anymore....what????? anyway she is confused on what she wants to do with her life and were she wants to live its like she did a complete 360 and no matter what i say or do she wants it to be over.

 

I know i need to get the ring back.. the last e-mail i sent her 3 weeks ago she shot down and said she is too busy and to leave her alone and she means it. So all i can do for now is wait until alittle time goes by and then e-mail her a "nice" e-mail that i need it back. She lives 5 hours away from me so its difficult now for me to go there during the holidays coming and i also have a life and things going on. Samspade??????can you help me with a e-mail or letter ( wording) to send her to get ti back>?????

[Lovegod]

The Lovegod is back!!! Bunnies all around! :bunny:

 

I paid 14,000 for the ring and its worth when we got it apraised 19,900. So you can understand why i must get it back.

 

Well, then you just gave her a $14,000 goodbye present. Face it, you're not going to get the ring back. Would you give back $14,000 that was just given to you? HELL NO, and neither will she.

 

You paid $14,000 to learn a lesson the hard way. Suck it up, cut contact with her, and move on with your life.

[eugene3]

This is the e-mail i sent her days after i made the mistake for her to take the ring.... and below it is her reply. I am getting the ring back trust me.. one phone call to her dad will end it trust me....i just don't want it to come to that but thats my secret weapon if all else fails.

 

MY E-MAIL TO HER.......

 

I made a mistake last night. I should have not given you the ring. I am sorry but i was wrong. Soon after you left i said to myself " what did i just do, I have made things worse" If our meeting would have ended with us talking more then friends again, or in some way things between us would get better then it would not be a big deal but that did not happen. They call it a engagement ring because a person that wears it has comitted to spend there life and share there love with someone special. I gave it to you last night because i saw your eyes light up and i saw how emotional you got when you saw it. You are proud of that ring and so am i. It just might be the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. You may never get something offered to you quiet like it ever again. I let you take it because i did not want you to hurt and i wanted to make your heart happy and give you what you want.

 

The truth is its caused a huge problem because i don't know what the outcome of you having it now will be. I met you to close out our life together and gain closure and now its worse because this is not a shirt or shoes its way more valuable. As much as i want you to have it, its for the wrong reasons. I wanted you to have it because i thought if you have it you would not only think of me and us but you will get tired of seeing it and want to wear it and you know what has to happen for you to wear it again.

 

Nothing in this world gives me more happiness then you having that ring and for some strange reason i feel even with us not together that it belongs to you and that you should have it but that does not completly ease my pain without you, it does not resolve the problem. I am not in a hurry but at some point weather it be next month or next year we have to come to some agreement with it, suggesting we sell it. For now since it makes you happy you can hold on to it but you are not keeping it.

 

 

so heres her reply.........

 

[FONT=Tahoma] I didnt do this for anybody else and that it the truth. I did it for my welbeing and for yours although you dont see it that way now. We would have never truly been happy and we would have never lasted. Im sorry but i believe that is true. So you can think what you want but you are wrong. [FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2]I made a mistake too by taking the ring. You keep saying it is my ring and no one elses and you're right...it is my ring. The ring i picked out and the ring that fit so perfectly on my finger. I didnt want you to give it to some else or sell it cheap, like you have with other things to get rid of them. [/sIZE][/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma][FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT][/FONT]

[FONT=Tahoma][FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2] i didnt want you to throw it out the window like you said you would. I love that ring but the meaning it was supposed to hold is no longer there for me...it is now just a beautiful piece of jewelry. All the hopes and dreams i once could see are not there anymore. So this is what i want to do down the line.....You can keep the center stone and use it for whatever you'd like. The setting i think we should sell, I'm sure we could get at least $2,000 for it.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2]As for November, I understand it is a month out but i already have plans on the weekends leading up to thanksgiving that i've made since August so that will not work. Maybe after the new year.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2]I want you to understand something....I am not coming back to you, you need to move on. I made this very clear before but you cant seem to grasp it. I said i will be in your life, but that doesnt mean you can call, text, or show up when ever you'd like and expect a response. We can talk once in a while but I dont need anymore time to see that you've change. I dont like when you send me texts or emails 3 times a day...it pisses me off. I dont like the games you play in order to get a response out of me. I said that when we do by chance talk i didnt want to have the same conversations we were about how much you've changed, that i didn't give you a second chance, or about what went on in our relationship.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=tahoma][sIZE=2]I do not want to be the reason for holding you back from anything. I am happy and i want you to be happy. Your choices in your life do not affect me anymore, they affect you. [/sIZE][/FONT]

[/FONT]

[CaliGuy]

I think i found them...lol... I needed that without the slap!!! SAMSPADE.. each day that goes by i gain more understanding and logic that i am to blame to why things are what they are. This has been a ongoing issue for too long, i chased her for too long and all for nothing. I showed weakness to her and she took advantage of it and has been for months. If from the begining she would have said she does not love me anymore like she did weeks ago i would not have even bothered to continue to get her back. She made it seem that she left me because of the mistreatment from me and the issues we were having and i thought i could change that.. you know prove to her i love her and have changed and we can work it out only to have been told recently that she lost all love and feelings for me but did not know how to tell me.

 

She for the first 3 months cried and said how hurt she was because of the breakup and that made me think i could change it. She might not have understood at the time that it was because she lost love for me and that is the reason. Anyway trust me when i say this.... she is gone and not coming back to me ever again and she has said this to me. The ring issue is my fault. I let her take it to calm her heart and try to let her see what she is doing to us. Instead she continues to bring up mean things i have done to her and all the things that went wrong with us but then she will say she does not want to takl about "us" anymore....what????? anyway she is confused on what she wants to do with her life and were she wants to live its like she did a complete 360 and no matter what i say or do she wants it to be over.

 

I know i need to get the ring back.. the last e-mail i sent her 3 weeks ago she shot down and said she is too busy and to leave her alone and she means it. So all i can do for now is wait until alittle time goes by and then e-mail her a "nice" e-mail that i need it back. She lives 5 hours away from me so its difficult now for me to go there during the holidays coming and i also have a life and things going on. Samspade??????can you help me with a e-mail or letter ( wording) to send her to get ti back>?????

 

 

Dude, you don't get it.

 

You GAVE her a 14k ring. Then when you said "I want it back" she said "Leave me alone and don't bother me".

 

Does that sound like someone who loves and cares about you?

 

Send her a message. I want the ring back. I am coming on Saturday to pick it up. No excuses. If I don't have the ring in my hand by Saturday, I will see you in Court.

 

Stop playing around with this girl. She is playing you for a fool. Stop being foolish, MAN UP and GO GET YOUR RING BACK!