CaliGuy Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Yikes. $14k for an engagement ring?! No wonder why she wants to keep it. I hope she doesn't run off and sell it man....for your sake get that ring back and NEVER let her see it again. And you don't have to split the procedes! You are the sole owner of the ring. She doesn't deserve any part of it.
Author eugene3 Posted October 3, 2008 Author Posted October 3, 2008 Yes.. very expensive. Other then she is very materialistic and she things its realy hers to keep why would she want to keep it? I mean she says she does not love or have any feelings for me any more and i explained to her if she took it then i would have to see her again to get it back but she still takes it. Now she does not want to talk to me and she sometimes answers my e-mails. So i am not a genius here but keeping that ring will make things worse and keep us tied together. Whats her deal.... the whole time we were together she blamed me for everything and kept bringing up the things i did that went wrong. this girl is crazy or something. Maybe she was not thinking at the time but the next day i asked for it back and she said " down the road" we will meet to take care of it. I dont want to wait intil 3 or 6 months to see her again. I mean she hurt me and seeing her again what for? Do people that fall out of love feel it again down the road????maybe she is waiting and taking her time knowing i want her and i am here for her.
CaliGuy Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Yes.. very expensive. Other then she is very materialistic and she things its realy hers to keep why would she want to keep it? I mean she says she does not love or have any feelings for me any more and i explained to her if she took it then i would have to see her again to get it back but she still takes it. Now she does not want to talk to me and she sometimes answers my e-mails. So i am not a genius here but keeping that ring will make things worse and keep us tied together. Whats her deal.... the whole time we were together she blamed me for everything and kept bringing up the things i did that went wrong. this girl is crazy or something. Maybe she was not thinking at the time but the next day i asked for it back and she said " down the road" we will meet to take care of it. I dont want to wait intil 3 or 6 months to see her again. I mean she hurt me and seeing her again what for? Do people that fall out of love feel it again down the road????maybe she is waiting and taking her time knowing i want her and i am here for her. Dude, you need to put your foot down. Tell her that you didn't give her the ring to think about the relationship. That she's made it clear you and her are finished. The ring amounts to a contract. If she accepts the ring, she accepts a marriage proposal. Since she did not accept the proposal, the ring is not hers and you are going to take it back and sell it. You state a date and time you're going to retrieve the ring and don't accept no as an aswer. If she refuses or dodges you, get help getting the ring back (her family for one). Get the ring back and rid yourself of the last tie that binds you. There are times that call for you to be a nice guy and times that call for you to be a jerk. Now is the time to be a jerk, to put your foot down and to retrieve what is rightfully YOURS (not hers). Don't be a door mat here, bud. Get your ring back.
Author eugene3 Posted October 3, 2008 Author Posted October 3, 2008 I agree she is walking all over me since day one because i am at her feet for her to come back to me. I as a last resort want to call or get her parents involved because if they knew she had it back after they sent it back to me in the first place all he-- will break loose and thats not want i want. Any suggestions other then being a jerk?
Faded Posted October 3, 2008 Posted October 3, 2008 Depending on where you live. A ring is given as a promise of a marriage contract. The marriage contract was never solidified, so the ring goes back to the giver. If it was given as a gift for a birthday or holiday, however, then she would get to keep it. If it was specified as an engagement ring, though, legally it goes back to you. If you really wanted to be a dick about it, you could bring her to court. That ring cost a hefty amount.
Simplycaroline Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 Depending on where you live. A ring is given as a promise of a marriage contract. The marriage contract was never solidified, so the ring goes back to the giver. If it was given as a gift for a birthday or holiday, however, then she would get to keep it. If it was specified as an engagement ring, though, legally it goes back to you. If you really wanted to be a dick about it, you could bring her to court. That ring cost a hefty amount. In court she could always say that she gave it back but that he returned it to her. He needs to stop talking about this on this board and just simply get his ring back if she has not sold it already. This is an expensive lesson indeed if he doesn't get it back. I hope that he does though.
me007 Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I have to agree with Caliguy here, you need to put your foot down and get your ring back. Not only did the girl break your heart she is taking advantage of you and running off with an expensive ring. Are you a rich guy that can just throw that much money away? You are handling it pretty calmly, I would of called her parents if she kept refusing to give it back and playing games the way she is. I agree she is walking all over me since day one because i am at her feet for her to come back to me. I as a last resort want to call or get her parents involved because if they knew she had it back after they sent it back to me in the first place all he-- will break loose and thats not want i want. Any suggestions other then being a jerk?
Lishy Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 He shouldnt have given her the ring back to begin with! He spent ages getting it back in the first place, so why give it back? He did it for his own reasons, so he could maintain contact His fault! Just forget the ring and move on
Simplycaroline Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 He shouldnt have given her the ring back to begin with! He spent ages getting it back in the first place, so why give it back? He did it for his own reasons, so he could maintain contact His fault! Just forget the ring and move on No he should not have given her the ring back. It was for purely selfish and manipulative reasons that he did it. HOWEVER he should NOT forget the ring. He should try his damnedist to get it back. He will be exposed for being many things to many people but at least he will have his ring. He can not blame her for this completely. This is his mess.
Lishy Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I dont blame her at all!! She is being honest with him regarding her feelings and he is gripping onto any straw and putting himself in a position to keep himself in her life and then he is kidding himself that it is about the ring! He only sounds young and I bet the ring was not worth thousands but it is the thing that keeps his mind on her He needs to realise it is over and move on, but he won't!
Author eugene3 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 I am actually 28 years ols so old enough to make and admit my mistakes. The ring was worth alot of money. I paid for it over time being it was so expensive. I have bigger issues then to lie about anything. Yes its over her feelings are gone. I am to blame for letting her take the ring. I think what is going on here is that fir the whole 7 months i have been here for her and pleading and begging her to come back and guess what it made things worse. When she first broke it off she said she loves me but to much issues have happened and its not going to work. She kept the ring and my things for almost 3 months. The 3 months i e-mailed her and called her many times and told her to send all back if its over, she would not let go. Finally her parents stepped in and said if its over then give the ring back and they sent my things back what she gave them to send. I noticed she never sent back all of my things. I decided i wanted all my stuff back so i mailed all her things back to her hoping she would so the same and she never did so this went on for 4 more months and i would call and ask for them back and she kept dragging her feet. 5 months she says she does not know if she loves me.... 7 month she says she feels nothing and she guesses she does not love me anymore and she wants to move on. I said ok i would like to have my things and we agreed to meet for my things. We meet she was blount and told me she cares just for my well being and that there is nothing she feels anymore her feelings have not changed. We cried together alittle and she kept bringing up things that happened in the past. Anyway we hunged and kissed a few times and then she asked about the ring. I showed it to her and she cried. She said its hers and she wants no one else to have it or for me to sell it cheep. I said why would you want it and you can;t wear it so it does not make sense to have it. I told her that i came to meet her to close things out and get my stuff. I told her she can take the ring but can not keep it and she agreed. I told her if she took it that we would have to see each other again to get it and she knew this. So yes i gave it to her to keep in her life but she was well aware and i did not trick her. I love her still but she is very confusing at times. I mean she told me how she feels but taking the ring puts me back in her life and she was well aware of this. I am not sure if she wants to string me along in case things don't work out with her in the near future or what. I now realize i made a mistake and she agreed. I asked to get it back the next week and she said down the line we will handle things. She wants me to move on from her and that she is not coming back to me but she is taking her time closing things out. She is holding on to us as well and i thing its more then just the ring itself. She is not keeping the ring she does not deserve it and its wrong for her to keep it. I am not getting her family involved because its our issue. I think if i put my foot down to her she will give it back. Ny question is do i wait for awhile for things to cool off or get it back asap???
Geishawhelk Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Get it back asap. If she said she would give it back, then you have the right at least to expect her to keep her word.
Lishy Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Go and knock on her door and ask for it! Dont warn her,just go and get it! Get this over with and then try to move on
Author eugene3 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 I already suggested to her we need to deal with it very soon...but since the holidays are coming she said she is very busy and to wait until after the new year. Honestly i dont want to deal with her in the new year. New Year means ne beginings and its a fresh start for me from her. I can;t understand why she wants to hold on to the ring knowing i want it back and that she can not wear it or sell it. I have all the paper work so she can not sell it. This is why NC is very important because when you chase them and beg and plead it makes you seem weak to them and they see that and they know they can do what they want and take there time or put things off because they know you miss and want them. If i would have from the begining stayed away things might be different. Women want what they can't have and as of now she knows she can have me. 7months a long time chasing so for her to realize i have moved on from her would take anoth 7 months of complete NC. Who knows what it woudl change by then i might have somone and so would she or at least been dating. I have never had to deal with this in past relationships with closing things out. In the past if it was over we exchanged our things and that was it nothing between us so we moved on.. this girl can not completly let go and neither can i. For some stange reason we/I always have a reason to call her and thats what i was trying to correct when i went to get all my things. .So now she has the ring in which i will not let it go formany reaosns. Why can't things just end and close out??? I mean she dragged me along for 7 months with my other stuff that she cold have mailed back like i mailed hers back but she kept dragging it out then we eventually met in which i thought i would never see her again. This is not all my fault she should do what she means its over get it closed out and if i was her and she was me feeling nothing for her i would not want the ring and i would make sure she never had a reason to contact me. I think she likes the attention i give her in a way.
Lishy Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 So what are you gonna do? You gonna spend the next 7 months moaning about a ring or are you gonna go get it? She is not holding onto it out of love for you, she loves the ring!
Author eugene3 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 I want to end things before the new year. I don't want to wait another 7 months but for some reason i believe things happen for a reason. I always thought she was the one for me and the reason we are apart is because of mistreatment from me and other issues we never tried to fix so it ended up ending us. I really don't know what to do.. if i e-mail her and say that i don't want to wait until the new year she will get mad e-mailed her. She does not want to talk to me. I know what she will say the same thing she said before she is busy and the holidays are here and she is right. I feel its the wrong time to start a fight with her about this. She lives hours away so really i dont feel like driving up there again so soon and i don't want to get nasty with her and make her mad because she will say to me that i have not changed at all. why do you think she is doing all of this. lishy do you think her feelings for me could ever resurface??? Do you think deep down she is holding on because she wants to have options if things dont pan out with her???
Lishy Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 No I dont think that Eugene, I do, however, think that you are graping at straws and if you really wanted the ring you would do the drive You are making excuse after excuse as to why she must have taken the ring - She took it because she wanted it No one in the world is so busy that they have to see you in the new year I am shocked that you are 28 and acting this way TBH
Author eugene3 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 I know i am acting like a child.. thats what a broken heart does to you it makes you weak and say and do things you would not normally do. Can you suggest what to write to her to get it back???? llike a e-mail??? i am not good with words can you help me write a e-mail to her??
Simplycaroline Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I want to end things before the new year. I don't want to wait another 7 months but for some reason i believe things happen for a reason. I always thought she was the one for me and the reason we are apart is because of mistreatment from me and other issues we never tried to fix so it ended up ending us. I really don't know what to do.. if i e-mail her and say that i don't want to wait until the new year she will get mad e-mailed her. She does not want to talk to me. I know what she will say the same thing she said before she is busy and the holidays are here and she is right. I feel its the wrong time to start a fight with her about this. She lives hours away so really i dont feel like driving up there again so soon and i don't want to get nasty with her and make her mad because she will say to me that i have not changed at all. why do you think she is doing all of this. lishy do you think her feelings for me could ever resurface??? Do you think deep down she is holding on because she wants to have options if things dont pan out with her??? Oh Eugene please stop this now. You said that this woman does not want you in her life yet you gave her a valuable ring and you are whining that she won't give it back. You are trying to some how purchase or manipulate her into changing her mind and it aint working. You are just being taken advantage of. If you like that sort of thing more power to you but take some responsilbility for your actions and go get the damn ring and leave this girl alone. So you think that your love for her is motivating this? True love does not behave like this.
Lishy Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 Dont email her hon, just make the drive to her house at a time when she is likely to be in and just ask her for it! Of course I would help you write an email BUT I think it is a bad idea, whatever you write her reply will be that she is too busy to give it back!! She is all about the ring hon and if you need it back to move on then please just go get it!!
Simplycaroline Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 I dont blame her at all!! She is being honest with him regarding her feelings and he is gripping onto any straw and putting himself in a position to keep himself in her life and then he is kidding himself that it is about the ring! He only sounds young and I bet the ring was not worth thousands but it is the thing that keeps his mind on her He needs to realise it is over and move on, but he won't! You are being unfair in your suggesting that he is lying. I agree that he is being manipulative like many of the people that post about trying to get their exes back. he is no different. If she had any sense of decency she would have told him when he offered her the ring back she would have said NO. Honesty does not inspire a decent woman or a man to take advantage of the ex that they left behind KNOWING full well that they are grasping at straws. I blame her alot. She is being just as manipulative as he is and I get the feeling that this is not something new in their relationship.
Author eugene3 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 Help me with a "convincing" but "blount" e-mail to her that will make her understand she needs to do the right thing without her responding that i never changed or without threatening her and i will go get it.
Geishawhelk Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 You're 28 for goodness' sake! Just get into your car, drive over, knock at the door, say, "I have come for my ring. Nothing else, just the ring. I'll wait here whilst you get it....." *Ex brings ring out.* "Thanks. Bye." Get back into car, drive home. How difficult is that - ??
Lishy Posted October 5, 2008 Posted October 5, 2008 He wants to make it difficult, he wants an excuse to talk to her and see her I just know it!
Author eugene3 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Posted October 5, 2008 I don't want to make it difficult... but a part of me wants to see her and the other part does not becuase i no the outcome "hurt". She lives wih her parents knocking on he door will make things worse and much drama that i can't handle. A e-mail to her to persuade is what i need.
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