DealingWDrama Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Friday my H got 2 text messages...one telling him to contact her "now" or else...then another saying "you have forced me to act" but that's it. No contact from her all weekend. Perhaps she went on a mini vacation or is attempting to do the true NC thing. I have no idea. I just know that it's wierd not hearing from her or being threatened from her for 2 days. Every time I go to the mailbox I expect to have something in there from her...and every time I see my H I expect for him to show me a text or let me hear a vm from her cussing him out. I'll be glad when this rollar coaster is over and I can not be anxious any more.
blueberry Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 She's attention-seeking. Believe you me, she will be HATING the fact your H is ignoring her. I'm having visions of her screaming and throwing things against the wall like a petulant child. Problem is, she isn't a child. She's a fully-grown women - and in that kind of mental state, they can be dangerous. Expect the suicide threats to start any day now. You and your Husband keep on sticking together. You'll get through this - I have a feeling it may get a lot worse before it gets better though.
blueberry Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 No contact from her all weekend. Perhaps she went on a mini vacation or . ...sure she isn't hiding under your bed?
jj33 Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Or else what? He'll never hear from her again? She'll have an abortion? None of these sound like awful threats. She cant say he will never see the child if that is what he wants especially when he would appear to be the more stable parent. She can not just take the money and run. Does she have any power over his job or could she somehow publicly embarrass him? (and how bad could that be really as you are by his side) I hope things calm. This seems to be my song lately but if she persists, you may want to get a lawyer involved to write her a simple letter saying the lawyer represents Mr. AND Mrs. Dealing with Drama, that she has (OW) made serious allegatoins and if they prove to be true (after a paternity test) that he will fulfill his financial responsibilities to the child as required by law, and that (if this is what YOU want) he will petition the court for appropriate visitation rights. She could then be instructed to contact your lawyer and not to contact you directly. That will cut her game very very short. No more threats. No more harrassment. No more "secrets". If H balks at that, then there is something wrong. She is not acting reasonably. She made the decision to have the child. She is threatening. Unless of course your H is not being totally forthright with you and these calls are coming because he is leading her to expect other action on his part. I hate to even suggest that to you but its a possibility. I hope I am wrong but if you suggest this and he says no, then ??? She cant hold you hostage emotionally for the next however many months until the baby is born. Nor can H be given an excuse to cater to her demands. I know she is pregnant and it is awful. But having a baby is a lifechanging event especially in this context. Its not something you use as a "chip" to get someone else's attention.
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 I thought about the suicide threat thing coming up too. So far, my predictions have been right as far as her saying she is going to the ER and having cramps ect. I really feel bad for her in a way. Granted she is a grown woman, a nurse at that ... I know that there was a time in the past 2 years that my H and I were seriously discussing D ... and that is when their A got hot and heavy. She really wants confirmation from him that she was not just a piece of toosh. That wasn't the case...but at the same time, I'm not going to comfort her...ya know!?!?
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 JJ - I feel ya...completely feel ya. The legal route is the best way to go, but in the state of FL there is nothing that can be done legally. Apparently text messages are not considered harassment because they have to be opened. Until she actually follows through on some kind of threat, nothing can be done. As of right now, she is blowing a bunch of smoke and stomping her feet. I think, if she gets her head on straight and actually sees a lawyer she will learn her legal rights and discover the only way to keep him from the child is to not tell him when the baby is born and not ask for child support or for a paternity test. Legally that is the only way she can keep him from the kid. She is begging him to sign away his rights in text messages - that can't be done legally...and I know he wouldn't do it anyway.
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 JJ - also...no she has no control over his job. They met at his place of employment...she left there 15 months ago...he has already told him boss of the situation and it is all clear. She did threaten to make a complaint against him and tell the company he was "using his position to sleep with staff" ... that's complete BS and his boss knows it. He showed his boss (a woman) the text messages...I have also spoken to the boss...it's just a matter of time now before it all comes out in the wash. I am expecting her to say she had a miscarriage or expecting her to take off to another state where the laws would make things more difficult.
whichwayisup Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 So she is actually pregnant? Do you know that for a fact? Did you ask your husband is there a chance it could be his? I assume there wasn't any protection going on if it could be his..
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 ...sure she isn't hiding under your bed? LOL very funny Blue. I'm 100% for sure their relationship is completely and totally over. I told my H if she was smart she wouldn't bring all this ***** to my house. I'm from the country and though I am an intelligent educated woman, I know I'd fall back into my 'hick' ways if she shows up at my house...lol!
Author DealingWDrama Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 Whichway - I still have no idea if she is or if she isn't pregnant. She has gone into hiding from the people me and my H know who know her as well. I have been STD tested and all is clear. There is a chance that if she is pregnant it could be his child. However, I think she is just trying to hang onto whatever she can to keep the drama going on in her life. If she is...she is...legally we will do what is right by the innocent child.
GPFan Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Hiring an attorney as an intermediary would be best. If there is a child, the drama will never end so best to begin shielding yourself now.
blueberry Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I told my H if she was smart she wouldn't bring all this ***** to my house. I'm from the country and though I am an intelligent educated woman, I know I'd fall back into my 'hick' ways if she shows up at my house...lol! Absolutely! Quite often women do not know what they incur when they test the emotional and protective emotions of other women. You keep on standing your ground. I love the fact you and your husband seem to be 100% on the same page. This chick will disappear into the ether soon enough. She's not done yet though - so keep your wits about you.
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