Eve Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Well, after much thought Hubby and I have agreed to allowing our teen daughter to have the latest mobile phone - which actually looks like some form of space/time continum gadget rather than .. well, rather than a phone. I still dont feel right about this but my daughter has told me that kids actually get bullied if they have normal phones. She disagrees with this in principle but still does not want to stand out. We have talked things over and there will be certain rules about this 'phone' but really I feel as though we are buying into the hands of very clever advertising.. Then again, she is a good child and we can afford the phone that she wants. Oh, the pressures of being a Parent! All of her friends have these time/space continum devices. I shouldnt make her live by my values totally, or should I? Anyone else going through a simular thing?
Ronni_W Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 that kids actually get bullied if they have normal phones. ... I shouldnt make her live by my values totally, or should I? Hi Eve. I think in the "olden days", we used to call that type of treatment "getting teased" -- though of course there is a line that crosses from normal, youthful teasing into bullying. I agree that parents ought not to want to "make kids live by" values that may not be as effective as in the past, to facilitate happy and successful living of life in current-day. But certainly to let them know how the (possibly outdated) values and beliefs used to support positive living...why it made sense to you to choose the values that you chose; how they helped you make good decisions and wise choices that you did not come to regret and feel guilty about after the fact; and perhaps even why it made sense to you to reject the 'values' that you rejected. In my experience, parents sometimes forget to offer the 'why' of their advice, rules and counsel, without which, it doesn't make enough sense to the as yet under-developed mind -- they don't get the needed info to fully learn/grasp how a particular lesson/value can be applied in other areas. If it's about wanting to guide her to financial responsibility, perhaps helping her to create a budget for herself, disclosing how the household budget operates (in terms of saving for big-ticket items and rainy days; not 'over-investing' in too many clothes or whatever, etc.) might be a good idea? There may be some useful 'finances for teens' books or websites. Good luck -- it sure ain't easy...perhaps best to just keep following your heart and your intuition?
ed-205 Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Just make sure you kick-in for the unlimited Texting! For some reason, kids think that if they aren't actually talking on the phone it doesn't cost anything!
Author Eve Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 Thank you Ronnie and Ed for taking the time to consider my post. We have discussed with our daughter the changing times and that maybe some of her friends are actually having financial problems and so not to buy into media representations. She responded well to this and will keep a look out. I just dont want her being pretentious.. My daughter explained to me how within her vast groups of friends some are VERY fickle indeed and that some are very responsive and caring .. she went into detail about how smoking is now 'out' and smokers are being left out deliberately by a certain group (which really are the main group).. Anyhow I live in an area with low crime so here goes. I just hope she doesnt get robbed and beaten! I have done some soul searching and now realise why I felt so uncomfortable. I think a large part of my discomfort arose through the fact that my daughters Birthday pressie is so expensive that we would really be spoiling her if we bought anything else.. such as something we would like to buy her! BUT I will have to get over myself and accept that my last baby is growing up now and does know what 'she' wants. Back in the day, when everyone was poor, I did not have this option and it hurt like hell but taught me enough to at least hear my own children and work like a bitch in order to ensure that they have been well cared for. So, thanks again. We have opted to buy the phone rather than get entangled in any 'contracts' which really are a means to access credit. I never believed in this passing era of credit and Hubby and I STRONGLY felt that we should not introduce our daughter to credit inadvertently via this fancy time continum device. The network provider she uses does the best deals anyway without signing up to a contract so I feel as though I have won one little battle at very least! I will continue with the intuition thing and pray God direct my heart.
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