sweetbutcheeky Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 What do people think? How much is too much interest on a first date? (vs going all in and having sex obviously) So we met up at the beach and walked our dogs to the off leash dog park, after that he asked me if I was going anything this evening and I said nothing. Few mins later he asked if I wanted to go to a movie. That was all fine, just giving background info. So at the movie he asked if he could hold my hand, held it for most of the movie (from when he asked on). Then after the movie we went and got a slice of pizza, after we were chatting and he asked if he could kiss me (which I responded no, was a little too much for me for the first date). Then while he was driving me home he asked if I wanted to see him again, he said he was available Tuesday evening and told me to call him (call him?) I dunno I haven't figured out if I like him yet so in a way this was all a bit much. I guess he knew enough to want to kiss me but I haven't had the time to really know yet. What do you think? (PS he also told me he had been married once and I had a feeling like it wasn't that long ago and wondered if he is getting ahead of himself because he missed being with someone. Though could be wrong. She cleated on him and left for someone else.)
Capricciosa Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 It does seem a little too eager, like he's trying for an insta-girlfriend. I'd be wary (though you liked him enough to spend the whole day/eve with him).
Enema Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Everyone has their own idea of what's normal. If I didn't get a kiss on the first date, I would assume she wasn't into me... As a result, I would probably tell her to call me if she wanted to go out again.
D-Lish Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I had a guy do that to me- came on strong on the first date... then left it as "You call me if you want to do dinner". he sent an e-mail as soon as he got home wanting to know what I though... and I said- sure, dinner. It fizzled out... I was NOT going to call him.... We e-mailed a bit for a while... but I got bored- Ask me out again or don't! Don't play the game where you ask me to call and get pissy I don't!
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 It does seem a little too eager, like he's trying for an insta-girlfriend. I'd be wary (though you liked him enough to spend the whole day/eve with him).That's exactly the feeling that I had got. True we did spend the day together (2pm - 11pm), though at the beach I was wondering if he was interested until he asked if I wanted to go to the movie, then went fast from there. Everyone has their own idea of what's normal. If I didn't get a kiss on the first date, I would assume she wasn't into me... As a result, I would probably tell her to call me if she wanted to go out again.There have been times where I was wondering if, when and why I didn't get a kiss. But I guess at those times I knew I liked him, not I dunno. Like him as a person, just not sure if we have chemistry. He did leave it for me to call him, though had already asked me and picked the day for the next date.
Green Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I wrote the book on love... FIGURATIVLY lol wackawacks N E ways hmmm did he acidently brush his hand against your chest, cause if he didn't wow real gentlement... did he give you the look down look up look down... hmmm I would have just gone for the kiss I never ask... unless I'm asking for a kiss on the cheek and then I turn and woops it becomes a mouth kiss
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 I wrote the book on love... FIGURATIVLY lol wackawacks N E ways hmmm did he acidently brush his hand against your chest, cause if he didn't wow real gentlement... did he give you the look down look up look down... hmmm I would have just gone for the kiss I never ask... unless I'm asking for a kiss on the cheek and then I turn and woops it becomes a mouth kiss I do agree with the asking ... would prefer a guy to just take charge and not ask. Though a the same time I didn't really want to at that moment. There's woman for ya! LOL There was one other time when I guy asked me if he could kiss me and I said no then too. But was a lot younger then.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 I had a guy do that to me- came on strong on the first date... then left it as "You call me if you want to do dinner". he sent an e-mail as soon as he got home wanting to know what I though... and I said- sure, dinner. It fizzled out... I was NOT going to call him.... We e-mailed a bit for a while... but I got bored- Ask me out again or don't! Don't play the game where you ask me to call and get pissy I don't! I do kinda feel weird about him leaving it with me to cal him, my response was that he had my cell number now. Though he said when I got out of the car to give him a call Tuesday. I figure you need to see anyone at lease twice to figure out if there is anything there, but don't want to feel pressured cause that will turn me off completely. Hmm why do I meet the come on too strong guy or not interested guy? Where is the in the middle guy?
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Anyone else have some input?
Capricciosa Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 I just want to repeat for the umpteenth time on LS that it is 2008 and fine for women to call men they are interested in. It gives us the power. Call him if you're interested. It is clear he is interested in you and now is giving you the chance to make up your mind and call the shots if you wish. And I agree, that if you like him at all, he's worth a second date.
CommitmentPhobe Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 You haven't figured out if you like him? You didn't fancy him enough to kiss him! So I'm not really surprised he left it like that, what's the point of him doing anything more?
Krytie TV Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 From what you describe, I see nothing more than an insecure guy feeling his way through this without being bold in any respect. I inched his way through everything, including asking if he could kiss you (which is a lame and boring thing to do). Him asking you to let him know if you wanted to go out again is a classic sign of someone without the balls to do it on his own or needing reinforcement. That's what you have here. These kinds of guys can be looking for instant girlfriends. More accurately though, he probably doesn't get many dates because of his etiquette and those types typically are relationship focused. One date and relationship kind of people.
gd26 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 It seems like most women like guys to take the initiative and just kiss them. I guess I'm different, and would like to be asked. But my reasons are that I only kiss guys who I'm in a relationship with. So if I barely knew a guy, and he started leaning in... I'd probably back away feeling almost violated. So for guys... don't assume that all girls are this way. Get an idea about her first...
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 You haven't figured out if you like him? You didn't fancy him enough to kiss him! So I'm not really surprised he left it like that, what's the point of him doing anything more?Well it was a first date, (met online) so I didn't know him and was getting to know him. I didn't get a first impression of chemistry or that he liked me. So was feeling my way threw in that way, they he went from nothing to coming on too strong which turned me off. From what you describe, I see nothing more than an insecure guy feeling his way through this without being bold in any respect. I inched his way through everything, including asking if he could kiss you (which is a lame and boring thing to do). Him asking you to let him know if you wanted to go out again is a classic sign of someone without the balls to do it on his own or needing reinforcement. That's what you have here. These kinds of guys can be looking for instant girlfriends. More accurately though, he probably doesn't get many dates because of his etiquette and those types typically are relationship focused. One date and relationship kind of people.I do like a guy who has the balls to go for it, ask me, kiss me. Though up to a point because there is always a line because I think holding hands on a first date is kinda weird (I guess because it seems like a couples thing, showing affection and shows your taken lol) and if you don't know if you like the person well you may not want them to kiss you. Though if they do who knows you may like them a lot more! lol It seems like most women like guys to take the initiative and just kiss them. I guess I'm different, and would like to be asked. But my reasons are that I only kiss guys who I'm in a relationship with. So if I barely knew a guy, and he started leaning in... I'd probably back away feeling almost violated. So for guys... don't assume that all girls are this way. Get an idea about her first...If a guy didn't kiss me for that long then I wouldn't think they are interested and it wouldn't get to a relationship. I have kissed a guy on a first date (sweet at the door kind a thing) or with others wasn't until the 3rd.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted October 1, 2008 Author Posted October 1, 2008 I just want to repeat for the umpteenth time on LS that it is 2008 and fine for women to call men they are interested in. It gives us the power. Call him if you're interested. It is clear he is interested in you and now is giving you the chance to make up your mind and call the shots if you wish. And I agree, that if you like him at all, he's worth a second date. It's a personal preference for me, I like guys who are take charge and go for it. Also in the past I have called and showed interest but then he starts calling less and I feel like I am the one putting most of the effort. With this guy I emailed him and couldn't make it for today because of a family situation that he knew we were going threw. So in this case it's in my court to let him know when it's a better time. Though as more time goes by I am less tempted to go for date two, because I am afraid he will just get more clingy which will turn me off and defeats the purpose of a second date which is to get to know him a little better. I just want to be able to get to know someone then once we both know we like each other see where that leads. But I also don't want the relationship after date one guy. I find the relationship on day one guy or commitment phoebe. Hmm what happened to the in between guy?
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