blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Arrgghhh... He is in Mauritius with his partner and its all I can think about. Last night I found myself checking out the time difference between here and there and imagining what he and she would be doing. I find myself imagining this perfect world that they exist in - full of sunlight, tanning oil, and loved-up times. Having a glorious time sipping cocktails in the sunset, retiring to bed early, nights of wild monkey sex followed by diving the next day. I hope they get blistering sunburn. (ok - not really - but you know what I mean) Argh. How long is this going to occupy my head for? Trying to keep myself busy. I'm off to Rome next weekend so have been reading up on that - but unless my nose is buried in a book, my mind turns to him. Damn him. And damn me for getting involved.
porter218 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Are you still willing to be with him when he comes back??
bentnotbroken Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 You mean you wish it were you there instead of her.
Ronni_W Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Hugs, blueberry. I hope you have a GREAT time in Rome. And yeah...I do know what you mean about the sunburn ~ may as well throw in a bit of heat stroke, too, why not?
torranceshipman Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Its complete madness to remain in this situation...y'know the scene you outlined makes it sounds like he's in love and M, and you've got a bad case of unrequited love (stoked by his being having an A with you, so of course he's encouraging it!). You'll make yourself so incredibly miserable sticking around for a guy who is happily married. I think he is happily married else he wouldnt be sunning himself in Mauritius, I just think that he's happily married AND selfish, and thats why hes having an A too.
StaggerLee Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Know how you feel Blue. When the girl I was involved with went to Florida for a couple of weeks in August with her BF I checked the weather forecast for the area she was staying in every day. OK, If I'm honest, probably several times per day. Not good . Blue, I've read some of your recent threads, and this guy is a nob. The bottom line is that him and his fiancee are trying for a baby, so he's not going to leave her. I really would try and spend this time while he's away planning for how you are not going to speak to him when he comes back. Easier said than done I know, but the only way he will respect you in any way is if you take some control back. Cutting contact with him is the only way I think.
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Are you still willing to be with him when he comes back?? If he decided to leave her - then yes. Until that happens - no. He knows that.
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 You mean you wish it were you there instead of her. Abso-fricken-lutely. But it's not me there is it. Trying to console myself with the fact it was booked a year ago.
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Hugs, blueberry. I hope you have a GREAT time in Rome. And yeah...I do know what you mean about the sunburn ~ may as well throw in a bit of heat stroke, too, why not? And food poisoning.
porter218 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 You mean you wish it were you there instead of her. Heck...I wish it was me instead of her...and I don't know any of these people:laugh:. Just a travel addict here.lol I saw the word Mauritius when my cursor went over this thread and I couldn't help but read it.
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Its complete madness to remain in this situation...y'know the scene you outlined makes it sounds like he's in love and M, and you've got a bad case of unrequited love (stoked by his being having an A with you, so of course he's encouraging it!). You'll make yourself so incredibly miserable sticking around for a guy who is happily married. I think he is happily married else he wouldnt be sunning himself in Mauritius, I just think that he's happily married AND selfish, and thats why hes having an A too. Completely. That's why I ended it 5 weeks ago. Doesn't help with his constant messaging "as friends". As far as I am concerned, "friends" don't message each other several times a day. So last Thursday I asked for no contact. Let's see how *that* one goes. Not feeling very strong at the moment! Another reason to be annoyed with myself as usually I'm a "take-no-prisoners" kinda gal. (FYI - he's not married. He's locked and loaded (engaged). Don't know why I feel the need to keep on mentioning that. Other than the fact it alleviates my guilt somewhat.)
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Heck...I wish it was me instead of her...and I don't know any of these people:laugh:. Just a travel addict here.lol I saw the word Mauritius when my cursor went over this thread and I couldn't help but read it. Me too. I travel a lot. As mentioned earlier, I'm off to Rome next week which should be great - and then at the end of October I'm off to Croatia. Can't run away though eh. Every time I travel it's only him I want with me. No matter how many gorgeous waiters / hotel bellboys that make themselves available!! (thats a joke btw)
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Know how you feel Blue. When the girl I was involved with went to Florida for a couple of weeks in August with her BF I checked the weather forecast for the area she was staying in every day. OK, If I'm honest, probably several times per day. Not good . Blue, I've read some of your recent threads, and this guy is a nob. The bottom line is that him and his fiancee are trying for a baby, so he's not going to leave her. I really would try and spend this time while he's away planning for how you are not going to speak to him when he comes back. Easier said than done I know, but the only way he will respect you in any way is if you take some control back. Cutting contact with him is the only way I think. Why on earth do we choose to torture ourselves? I've been checking weather forecasts et al. It's doing my head in. If only it were a few weeks earlier and those hurricanes were on a slightly more North-Eastern track.... (joke) Love your use of the word nob btw. Spoken like a true Englishman (or NZer / Australian!) And yes, am planning on how to do the whole "no contact" thing WHILST being professional in the office and not coming across as a sulky cow. Diginity is now the order of the day. I'll do my tantrum-throwing behind closed doors. Thank God for Pinot Grigio.
porter218 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Wow...So he is trying to have a baby with his fiance. You need to steer clear of him even if he leaves her. This is some serious two timing he is capable of. You shouldn't want anything to do with that level of jerk.
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Wow...So he is trying to have a baby with his fiance. You need to steer clear of him even if he leaves her. This is some serious two timing he is capable of. You shouldn't want anything to do with that level of jerk. When he "owned-up" to the fact they had been trying for a child, my reaction was somewhat nuclear. I couldn't fathom how a man who was honestly trying to bring life into this world, was also spending time in my bed. I've mentioned in a previous post that he went on to tell me that "if it was any consolation", he "had to think of me the whole time, whilst she sat on top and did all the work". Honoured. Bleuch.
StaggerLee Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 And yes, am planning on how to do the whole "no contact" thing WHILST being professional in the office and not coming across as a sulky cow. This is what I'm going to struggle with too (for me maybe moody b*stard rather than sulky cow ), but at least we're in different buildings. Maybe you should just try and avoid as much contact as possible, but when you did have to speak to him, talk to him with a totally detached bright and breezy approach, whilst not acknowledging in the slightest that you two have any history together. I know the aim of NC is not to annoy the other person, but believe me I'm sure this would p*ss him off no end. It would me anyway.
porter218 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 When he "owned-up" to the fact they had been trying for a child, my reaction was somewhat nuclear. I couldn't fathom how a man who was honestly trying to bring life into this world, was also spending time in my bed. I've mentioned in a previous post that he went on to tell me that "if it was any consolation", he "had to think of me the whole time, whilst she sat on top and did all the work". Honoured. Bleuch. Lies! Pure lies!!! I have never heard of someone trying to make a baby with their SO that they aren't even married to yet that is sexually not satisfying. Think about it. Why would he put himself into the position of having a connection for the rest of his life with this woman if he is already unhappy in the bedroom..when they aren't even married. Makes no sense. He is spewing pure bulls***. It is so easy to tell someone that when they know it can't be verified. I know you didn't buy that one?
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Lies! Pure lies!!! I have never heard of someone trying to make a baby with their SO that they aren't even married to yet that is sexually not satisfying. Think about it. Why would he put himself into the position of having a connection for the rest of his life with this woman if he is already unhappy in the bedroom..when they aren't even married. Makes no sense. He is spewing pure bulls***. It is so easy to tell someone that when they know it can't be verified. I know you didn't buy that one? Ohhh - hook, line and sinker baby. It is sometimes very hard to know what is truth and what is pure garbage, but in a nutshell: - Says he is not in love with her anymore, but she is his best friend. - He "owes" her (she picked up the pieces when he left his wife after finding out about an affair) - She is desperate for a child and they get along so well. As he says " compatability is just as important as passion and love" - Has sex only during her fertile times But again - who knows what to believe. And so I've stopped listening. Good lord, I'm making myself ill here.... re-reading myself I'm beginning to see how pathetic this all has been.
jj33 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 When he "owned-up" to the fact they had been trying for a child, my reaction was somewhat nuclear. I couldn't fathom how a man who was honestly trying to bring life into this world, was also spending time in my bed. I've mentioned in a previous post that he went on to tell me that "if it was any consolation", he "had to think of me the whole time, whilst she sat on top and did all the work". Honoured. Bleuch. Oh Blue... this guy is lucky you didnt lock and load a pistol and fire it at those fast hips of his. You sound v switched on so he must have some have some really good points you havent metioned.. But it doesnt matter. Hes a smug deceitful little twit. When you start to think you miss him, remember how nuclear you got when you found out hes trying for a baby.
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 This is what I'm going to struggle with too (for me maybe moody b*stard rather than sulky cow ), but at least we're in different buildings. I know the aim of NC is not to annoy the other person, but believe me I'm sure this would p*ss him off no end. It would me anyway. Wish we were in different buildings. As it turns out I am within chair-throwing distance... But hey - in this recent financial climate, one of us may be out of a job by Christmas.
jj33 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Just make sure its him not you... smug little twit
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Oh Blue... this guy is lucky you didnt lock and load a pistol and fire it at those fast hips of his. Love your work jj! He does have some wonderful points. So did Margaret Thatcher.
StaggerLee Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Wish we were in different buildings. As it turns out I am within chair-throwing distance... Every cloud etc etc
Author blueberry Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Every cloud etc etc My hole-puncher has become more aerodynamic-looking in recent days.. Weighty little buggars....
jj33 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 LOL Im sure she did. And thanks am finding the bitterness really works for me. Trying to practice compassion but a part of me would prefer to castrate the lot of them.
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