Author shadowplay Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 I'm sure if it was a guy you were interested in you wouldn't complain. I have the potential to be interested in some of the guys, but it's hard for me to be interested in a guy knowing absolutely nothing about him. It's true that some of the guys are mainstream jock types that aren't usually my type. Plus I have a boyfriend. But honestly even if a guy I had the potential to really like flirted with me at the job it would make me uncomfortable and flustered. That's just not the kind of context I want to flirt in. Usually I'm trying to study at the desk when I'm not working. Yes, in another setting I would welcome that kind of attention. Can nobody honestly relate?
Isolde Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Guys WON'T hit on you if you're just hanging out, but they WILL if you're truly busy. It's one of the laws of life. Try to take advantage of it if one of them is cute or nice
Nemo Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 They would probably screw up and put them up around their eyes somewhere, where we never look. That's gold.
Author shadowplay Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Good gosh, you were just complaining that you were lonely and have nothing to do. Why not flirt back? You can do your job and chat at the same time in a friendly manner. If it results in the exchange of phone numbers, great. If not, you get a little skip in your step bc someone thought you were pretty. Well, I'm lonely because I don't have any girlfriends. I'm not looking to meet guys; I have a bf.
Author shadowplay Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 That's not to say if my "soulmate" came along and I could tell that we were meant to be just at first glance I would snub him. But how likely is that? I don't believe in soulmates anyway.
Lucky_One Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I am confused. You have a BF, but you are lonely? I was assuming all along (in your "lonely" thread) that you had no one to hang out with, and that you kept shooting down all ideas on how to meet people bc you were interested in meeting guys but they aren't "your type". How do you know if people are your type if you don't talk to them or give them a chance? As for guys flirting when you have a BF, most flirting is just an appreciation that you are pretty, you are a girl, and they are a guy. If they cross the line, then throw your BF into the conversation. If they keep on going over the line, then shut them out by going back to your studying and ignoring them. You are on a campus, with SO many opportunities to meet people - girls and boys. Get involved with the upcoming elections. Join clubs. Look at people in your classes and ask one of them to have lunch or coffee together after class. Yes, they are strangers, but everyone is a stranger until someone says Hello. Man - youth is wasted on the young - appreciate what you have going for you and take advantage of it!
Author shadowplay Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 I am confused. You have a BF, but you are lonely? I was assuming all along (in your "lonely" thread) that you had no one to hang out with, and that you kept shooting down all ideas on how to meet people bc you were interested in meeting guys but they aren't "your type". How do you know if people are your type if you don't talk to them or give them a chance? As for guys flirting when you have a BF, most flirting is just an appreciation that you are pretty, you are a girl, and they are a guy. If they cross the line, then throw your BF into the conversation. If they keep on going over the line, then shut them out by going back to your studying and ignoring them. You are on a campus, with SO many opportunities to meet people - girls and boys. Get involved with the upcoming elections. Join clubs. Look at people in your classes and ask one of them to have lunch or coffee together after class. Yes, they are strangers, but everyone is a stranger until someone says Hello. Man - youth is wasted on the young - appreciate what you have going for you and take advantage of it! Neither my bf nor I know many people as we're new students. He's very extroverted so I'm sure he'll make friends fast, but I don't want to rely on him for friends. Partly at the suggestion of people on that thread, I just signed up to go on a weekly trip to visit art galleries in NY with other art students. Starts in two weeks. I'm hoping I"ll make some connections that way. I've had trouble finding time for other clubs because of my work and studying schedule.
Lucky_One Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I hope you do, too! There have to be other students working in the library, too. Meet up with them, or have breaks together and stuff like that.
Nemo Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 , I just signed up to go on a weekly trip to visit art galleries in NY with other art students. Starts in two weeks. I'm hoping I"ll make some connections that way. Cool. Art galleries are great places for hook-ups. It's something about the atmosphere that's so inspiring, and makes you want to celebrate in some visceral way.
Author shadowplay Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Cool. Art galleries are great places for hook-ups. It's something about the atmosphere that's so inspiring, and makes you want to celebrate in some visceral way. Art galleries are the new bathhouses.
Green Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 That's not to say if my "soulmate" came along and I could tell that we were meant to be just at first glance I would snub him. But how likely is that? I don't believe in soulmates anyway. Do you believe in shadowmates?
Author shadowplay Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Do you believe in shadowmates? I believe in sex.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I believe in sex. And sex believes in you
jerbear Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 And sex believes in you without sex, we would not be here.
Bells Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I have the potential to be interested in some of the guys, but it's hard for me to be interested in a guy knowing absolutely nothing about him. It's true that some of the guys are mainstream jock types that aren't usually my type. Plus I have a boyfriend. But honestly even if a guy I had the potential to really like flirted with me at the job it would make me uncomfortable and flustered. That's just not the kind of context I want to flirt in. Usually I'm trying to study at the desk when I'm not working. Yes, in another setting I would welcome that kind of attention. Can nobody honestly relate? I suggest you take that straw in your back pocket and "suck it up". I guess no one here can't relate, because you're a unique case. Honestly, I've been one of those guys that would see a chick sitting at a college desk somewhere on campus twiddlin' her thumbs. Those on campus jobs aren't much to write home about....I used to work them.
Bells Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 You are on a campus, with SO many opportunities to meet people - girls and boys. Exactly...please don't resist....college is one of those places where you meet alot of people....I remember when I graduated, I felt an emptiness of leaving that college community. It felt.....weird.
Green Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I believe in sex. one day you won't have to believe in it and you'll get to have it
Author shadowplay Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 one day you won't have to believe in it and you'll get to have it I already do, several times a day.
Green Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I already do, several times a day. wow you really enjoy getting impaled... headphones if your aloud to wear them might stop guys from hitting on you...
Author shadowplay Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 wow you really enjoy getting impaled... By the right guy, yes.
kashmir Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I'm sure if it was a guy you were interested in you wouldn't complain. So true. Come on, busy at a library desk job? Stop kidding yourself and just take the attention as a compliment. At least once a night at my waiting job I get hit on, usually by an older woman, and I'm almost ALWAYS busy. Am I offended or annoyed? No. I thank them for the compliment and walk away and feel a little ego boost. You should do the same.
Lucky_One Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I already do, several times a day. No wonder you don't have any female friends! You are either naked or in the shower in your spare time.
RecordProducer Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Can nobody honestly relate?Funny, I can relate to everything you say. I already told you how much you reminded me of myself. It's not their attention that bothers you - it's the attention that they seek from you! And you're not willing to waste your energy on them. For those who don't understand: a guy approaches a girl and starts asking her questions about her life. Obviously, she is neither interested in impressing him nor does she find talking about her basics amusing. So she has to answer hit-on related questions and engage in a lively conversation with somebody with whom she never wanted to talk in the first place. I don't have to be attracted to someone in order to talk with them, but a big part of NOT being interested in talking to someone is precisely because they are boring. I find most of the people who start a conversation with me totally boring. The majority of people on Loveshack are philosophical; they like to discuss ideas, to think, to read, to express their opinions and hear other people's opinions. I find at least half of all the posts on this board to be very interesting and the rest are interesting to different degrees (to me). But in real life, people talk about BS and I really am not into that small talk. Men generally don't realize that girls don't reject them so much due to their looks, but due to lack of charm. If an intelligent and super-witty, but unattractive guy tried to be my friend, I would possibly eventually fall in love with him. But when an average guy approaches me and wants me to show interest in him after knowing him for 3 minutes, I'd rather not even go there.
Author shadowplay Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 Funny, I can relate to everything you say. I already told you how much you reminded me of myself. It's not their attention that bothers you - it's the attention that they seek from you! And you're not willing to waste your energy on them. For those who don't understand: a guy approaches a girl and starts asking her questions about her life. Obviously, she is neither interested in impressing him nor does she find talking about her basics amusing. So she has to answer hit-on related questions and engage in a lively conversation with somebody with whom she never wanted to talk in the first place. I don't have to be attracted to someone in order to talk with them, but a big part of NOT being interested in talking to someone is precisely because they are boring. I find most of the people who start a conversation with me totally boring. The majority of people on Loveshack are philosophical; they like to discuss ideas, to think, to read, to express their opinions and hear other people's opinions. I find at least half of all the posts on this board to be very interesting and the rest are interesting to different degrees (to me). But in real life, people talk about BS and I really am not into that small talk. Men generally don't realize that girls don't reject them so much due to their looks, but due to lack of charm. If an intelligent and super-witty, but unattractive guy tried to be my friend, I would possibly eventually fall in love with him. But when an average guy approaches me and wants me to show interest in him after knowing him for 3 minutes, I'd rather not even go there. Yes! I'm glad you understand. I just don't feel like engaging in conversation with them. It's like I'm expected to act a certain way and flirt back, which makes me uncomfortable being naturally shy. If the guy is fairly boring I feel subtly pressured to conform to his preconceived notion of what I should be like. I know if he pries enough he'll discover I'm weird and that we have nothing in common, so I wish we could skip the whole charade. If I act rude or indifferent that just makes the interaction awkward, especially if he's a regular. I've actually come to dread certain guys stopping by because I know the same routine will ensue and I'll be forced to engage with them or else look unfriendly. I don't want to come off as a b**tch or snob by inserting "my boyfriend" into the conversation. I guess it's something I just have to suck up like another poster suggested. Again, in another context that kind of attention would be nice because I could selectively choose whom I returned it to, but at work it annoys me because I have to look friendly and see the same people over and over.
RecordProducer Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I guess it's something I just have to suck up like another poster suggested. Yes. Look at it as one of the annoyances in life. Again, in another context that kind of attention would be nice because I could selectively choose whom I returned it to, but at work it annoys me because I have to look friendly and see the same people over and over.Yes, this is rationalization: thank God men find me attractive, but now please bug off. Again, thanks for applying and remember - don't call us, we'll call you if we're interested!
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