otta Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I'm really depressed, feeling bad since he left me because he wasn't up..... I sent him today this email I'm sharing here with you... really don't know why ... "I want you to know how boring life is, how empty, how dull, how meaningless since you disappeared... All I'm doing is nonsense... All I'm trying is useless... I could not forget... Will never forget... I'm dying every day a little... in spite of my smile, my work, my friends, in spite of everything... And I missing you... Nothing can remedy it... Nothing... I remember, and remember and remember... I'm wondering why did you throw me as you did... and guess what??? it's not your fault... it's mine because I wasn't up to you... I didn't know how to keep you... I'm hopeless, I'm stupid, I'm nothing... really nothing... I was not even able to cry at your feet, to turn up at your place at dawn, completely drunk, to ask you why... And now, I'm not even able to hate you, to forget you... to stop hoping... I'm not even able to give way to someone else... I'm terrified... I'm lost... completely lost... and I'm dreaming of you every night... every night for real... and it's sweet, so sweet... Waking up is then so cruel, so hard, so torturing... life has no taste, anymore..... and I'm crying, I'm crying every night, as soon as I'm alone... and the pain is becoming more and more deep, and amazingly sweeter... sweet because it's the only moment I feel alive... the only moment I can hold my feelings... feeling my heart is still there, although it's completely broken... broken... as well as yours...... what could I give to someone else... nothing... I have nothing to give any more... All I used to have disapeared with you... I'm lost... I'm roaming... toward nowhere... roaming then coming back to you... to a never neverland... coming back to a love that didn't even exist... to someone who only used to like me very much... how stupid I am !! really pathetic !!!!! ... Completely lost... already 7 months and still lost... And hating myself every day a little more... Tell me, please tell me how to face it ??? tell me that I'm not completely lost... tell me that my heart can recover... tell me that it was not my fault... as it wasn't yours... tell me that I can fall in love again, do love as much as I loved you... tell me that you still like me, that I didn't do anything wrong......................... anything you could tell me is useless... it hurts... deeply hurts... nothingness, total emptiness... I'm roaming... to a never neverland... and I know it's not your fault, I know it's not mine... " ..... really lost... thank you for reading and sorry for my bad english, I'm not a native... Good luck for all of you !!!!!
0hpenelope Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Did you feel better after you sent this e-mail? I hope this is the last one you'll send the ex. You should focus on making yourself feel better from here on out and try your best to not be dependent on the ex's presence - cyber net-presence, phone-presence, whatever-presence - to make you feel good again. He's not going to be able to give you anything to make you feel happy at this point. The only one who can help you is yourself. No, you won't forget him. But you can and you will move on - just like most of us. One step at a time. How're you feeling now?
9Lives Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 it is ok to miss your ex but to think you dont have a life without him is not good. This is your life...your gift....when you wake up in the morning...it is your life. life is coming out of you. It is not fair to you or him to but so much into the presence of someone being in your life in order for LIFE to work. People will come and go. That is what we have to deal with. Something about the relationship was not working. If you are honest with yourself, you will realize it was not working for you as well. I will say that the only thing that is good about that email is that it should shows you...you. You will experience this again if you to understand that ....You and your life is VALUABLE. Life is comin out of you. You are living life now. Dont throw it away, value it, love it,share it, enjoy it, and realize more good will come out from you, and good will come to you. It is not over when someone does not want to be there anymore. Work on YOU, you deserve it. YOu deserve to to a happy person within with or without some people that we love that is not there like we think it should be. You put too much on him/her. Not good. I had to learn the same lesson.
daithi Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 I'm really depressed, feeling bad since he left me because he wasn't up..... I sent him today this email I'm sharing here with you... really don't know why ... "I want you to know how boring life is, how empty, how dull, how meaningless since you disappeared... All I'm doing is nonsense... All I'm trying is useless... I could not forget... Will never forget... I'm dying every day a little... in spite of my smile, my work, my friends, in spite of everything... And I missing you... Nothing can remedy it... Nothing... I remember, and remember and remember... I'm wondering why did you throw me as you did... and guess what??? it's not your fault... it's mine because I wasn't up to you... I didn't know how to keep you... I'm hopeless, I'm stupid, I'm nothing... really nothing... I was not even able to cry at your feet, to turn up at your place at dawn, completely drunk, to ask you why... And now, I'm not even able to hate you, to forget you... to stop hoping... I'm not even able to give way to someone else... I'm terrified... I'm lost... completely lost... and I'm dreaming of you every night... every night for real... and it's sweet, so sweet... Waking up is then so cruel, so hard, so torturing... life has no taste, anymore..... and I'm crying, I'm crying every night, as soon as I'm alone... and the pain is becoming more and more deep, and amazingly sweeter... sweet because it's the only moment I feel alive... the only moment I can hold my feelings... feeling my heart is still there, although it's completely broken... broken... as well as yours...... what could I give to someone else... nothing... I have nothing to give any more... All I used to have disapeared with you... I'm lost... I'm roaming... toward nowhere... roaming then coming back to you... to a never neverland... coming back to a love that didn't even exist... to someone who only used to like me very much... how stupid I am !! really pathetic !!!!! ... Completely lost... already 7 months and still lost... And hating myself every day a little more... Tell me, please tell me how to face it ??? tell me that I'm not completely lost... tell me that my heart can recover... tell me that it was not my fault... as it wasn't yours... tell me that I can fall in love again, do love as much as I loved you... tell me that you still like me, that I didn't do anything wrong......................... anything you could tell me is useless... it hurts... deeply hurts... nothingness, total emptiness... I'm roaming... to a never neverland... and I know it's not your fault, I know it's not mine... " ..... really lost... thank you for reading and sorry for my bad english, I'm not a native... Good luck for all of you !!!!! Dude terrible idea, dont do this again. She will hate you for it. I know from experience, I did this, when she was on the verge of wanting to meet up again, and it blew everything.
gd26 Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Dude terrible idea, dont do this again. She will hate you for it. I know from experience, I did this, when she was on the verge of wanting to meet up again, and it blew everything. This email has ALREADY been sent. And it's to a boyfriend, not girlfriend. I'm not exactly sure if men would respond differently though. I'm guessing (from personal experience) that these sort of letters don't make a person understand and want to get back together... they just push the other person away further. If you are lost and lonely, that doesn't make the other person want to get back together with you. The only chance you have is if your life is interesting and fun enough, that the other person thinks he'll have more fun if he was in your life again. When he sees how cool you are, not how lonely you are. But then... if he was a jerk and dumped you... he doesn't deserve you in his life anyways. It seems like you need to focus on improving your own life now. You can't undo the letter you wrote. You can just maintain NC from here onwards, and focus on making yourself the best you can be.
Crazy.S Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 hey, i am surprised you are still having such strong feeling after 7 months? what have you been doing all this time? did you establish NO CONTACT? if you didnt you should. it helps a lot and for me 7 months later is soo much better than 1 month after the break-up. i know your feelings made you write that email, but it's not going to help. trust me when your feelings subside you will see how embarrassing that email was. there is a section on LS called coping and there's a thread called "write here instead of contacting you ex". i have used it numerous times and it did help. if you want you can read my posts on that thread. you will see after each post, i am getting better and better. and if you havent yet, try to get rid of things that reminds you of your ex and try to create new memories without your ex so when you reflect back you have something else than those time with your ex. GL
bustertypsy Posted October 1, 2008 Posted October 1, 2008 7 days,7 weeks,7 months there is no time frame for healing.I am so sorry for the way you are feeling.I remember many years ago when I broke up with who was the love of my life at that time and making mistakes like yours. I wrote letters like yours(no e mail then),sent forgive me cards,flowers...you name it.I was obsessed at getting her back,but I was only driving her further apart with each futile effort.Of course I learnt from my mistakes,and you will too. What's important to remember is it's not how much you love them that will determine if they take you back,but rather how much they love you. Leave them in no doubt as to how much you love them,then leave them be.If they love you they'll come sailing back.Least is best here.Don't drive them further away.I know it's hard,but it the best way,believe me. I wish you well and yes you will heal but it just takes time.
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