Author gonetildecember Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 I want him to tell me he's actually going out instead of scapegoating and saying he's going to pick something up then just stay out all night,because something came up and we didnt have solid plans. Maybe I'm asking too much, but I think that if he just said Baby something came up with the guys, canwe reschedule....or just said Baby I'm chilling with the guys tonight upfront and was honest about it, we wouldnt argue. But he FORGETS to do that every single time!!!! and I know.. he has it to easy. He's so used to me always gving in and calling, things going back to normal right away.. i just want to spend time with him so i give in everytime. I KNOW i have to stop. its just so hard when i dont see results to keep me motivated. im scared to lose him. THAT is why he can get away with what he's doing – because you're allowing him to, for fear of losing the relationship. And no solid relationship is built in fear. you don't want to be "mean" by taking back his key, thus not allowing him "easy access" to you, yet you cannot understand why he lacks the common courtesy to alert you to changes in plans. think about it, very, very carefully. you ALLOW him to treat you this way because you REFUSE to make a stand. How is he going to get the message that you're not there for his every whim when you don't *show* him? Sometimes you've just got to do the very thing you don't want to in order to make a stance, and you've got to stick with it so that things can change for the better. and until you do, he's going to keep doing this to you, treating you like a mattress, because he thinks it's allowable. This is exactly right. Thats exactly how I feel. So how do I make that stand. He knows how I feel,he'll call today sometime in the next few hours. How should I proceed?
Lucky_One Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 You are a college man's dream. You let him come over and spend the night in semi-clean sheets. You cook for him. You let him have free rein in your own home. You have sex with him when he wants it. In your own words, you "spoil" him even when he treats you with absolute disrespect. And in return, you get someone to hang out with when he gives you the time, so that you aren't lonely. If I had to pick a person to be in this relationship, I would want to be him. He has it made!
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