I'm in a constant state of anxiety

[FlyingToaster]

Hello,

I have always been a worrier. I will dwell on something and my active imagination will build on it until it is the worse case scenario.

 

Ever since I had my son 2 years ago, at age 40, it has gotten worse. I am so much more aware of my mortality after having him, and I live in fear of getting something terminal. My H is gone every other week and when he's gone I'm sometimes afraid of going to sleep out of fear that I won't wake up. I see commercials about cancer and wonder if that's foreshadowing.

 

I'll see a news story about a child in danger and imagine what that child is going through and most of the time I get teary-eyed. When we go out in public, I'm so afraid to let my eyes off our son 'cause I'm afraid that he would be kidnapped and I imagine how scared he would be.

 

I've always felt that just when you think you've got it good, something bad's going to happen. My H and I look at our son as such a blessing, we just can't believe that we were so fortunate to have him bestowed upon us. It's just too good to be true so I'm waiting for something to happen.

 

I do have a family history of this. My mother told me that she was always worrying about such things as well. Her and my father would be driving and she'd see a dead animal on the road and would get upset wondering what they felt when they were hit. She would worry about getting everything packed for vacations and having our plane tickets. Then, she'd worry about keeping all of us together (I have a sister and brother as well) as we made our way through the airports. She now takes medication and it has helped her considerably.

 

I have high blood pressure, but I'm on medication for that. I'm a little overweight, but I try to eat healthy, and I also exercise. It's my goal to lose weight.

 

I'm going to see my family doctor and talk to him about this. I'm at a point where it's overwhelming me. I'm not completely immobilized by this, but I am concerned that if I don't do something soon, it could very easily get that way.

 

It doesn't help that I don't care for where we live. We live in my H's hometown, and I don't like it here. I don't have any of my family around as well.

 

Has anybody had a similar situation, or known somebody like this? Is there any reading that anybody would recommend?

 

Take care.

[Meaplus3]

Hello,

I have always been a worrier. I will dwell on something and my active imagination will build on it until it is the worse case scenario.

 

Ever since I had my son 2 years ago, at age 40, it has gotten worse. I am so much more aware of my mortality after having him, and I live in fear of getting something terminal. My H is gone every other week and when he's gone I'm sometimes afraid of going to sleep out of fear that I won't wake up. I see commercials about cancer and wonder if that's foreshadowing.

 

I'll see a news story about a child in danger and imagine what that child is going through and most of the time I get teary-eyed. When we go out in public, I'm so afraid to let my eyes off our son 'cause I'm afraid that he would be kidnapped and I imagine how scared he would be.

 

I've always felt that just when you think you've got it good, something bad's going to happen. My H and I look at our son as such a blessing, we just can't believe that we were so fortunate to have him bestowed upon us. It's just too good to be true so I'm waiting for something to happen.

 

I do have a family history of this. My mother told me that she was always worrying about such things as well. Her and my father would be driving and she'd see a dead animal on the road and would get upset wondering what they felt when they were hit. She would worry about getting everything packed for vacations and having our plane tickets. Then, she'd worry about keeping all of us together (I have a sister and brother as well) as we made our way through the airports. She now takes medication and it has helped her considerably.

 

I have high blood pressure, but I'm on medication for that. I'm a little overweight, but I try to eat healthy, and I also exercise. It's my goal to lose weight.

 

I'm going to see my family doctor and talk to him about this. I'm at a point where it's overwhelming me. I'm not completely immobilized by this, but I am concerned that if I don't do something soon, it could very easily get that way.

 

It doesn't help that I don't care for where we live. We live in my H's hometown, and I don't like it here. I don't have any of my family around as well.

 

Has anybody had a similar situation, or known somebody like this? Is there any reading that anybody would recommend?

 

Take care.

 

It sounds to me like you are suffering from some form of anxiety.Obsessing about your health and Catastrophic happenings are very common with when your anxious. It's that flight of fight response that kicks in.

 

I myself have been suffering from panic attacks.. as well as GAD so I know how your feeling. The best way to work on this IMO is by talking with a therapist that can guide you along using Cognative behavior therapy. CBT helps you to change the way you think about things and really is quite effective. My issue got so bad at a certain point. that for a while I had trouble going to the grocery store. I was afraid I was going to faint..in public and loss all control,it was a nightmare for me. However, through speaking with someone I have been able to gain control over my thoughts.. and turn those awful feelings off and focus on rational thought to keep form beign anxious. I am by no means a doc of any sort..I'm just simply sharing with you what I have learned about anxiety. Good luck.. and hang in there.

 

AP:)

[Tony T]

Google "anxiety neurosis." There are dozens of sites which give your symptoms and many suggest possible cures. THE CURE is changing the way you think. I absolutely guarantee you that there is always a slight chance that anything can happen during your day...yes, bad, awful things. But those occasions are extremely rare. Unless you want to waste your entire life anticipating events that are highly unlikely to occur, if ever, I suggest you see a counselor or read some books on anxiety neurosis and pick yourself up by the bootstraps.

 

In your case, there may be something from your past which initiated your extremely negative thought process. A counselor may help you identify that. But no counselor can change the way you think. YOU must do that for yourself. Another suggestion may be to seek hypnotherapy (hypnosis). If you cannot afford this, get some excellent relaxation tapes from a bookstore or download them for free using the free online media download utility Grokster.

 

Good luck. This doesn't have to be if you start thinking it doesn't. Remember, thoughts are things. Everything in the world began as a thought, including YOU!

[whichwayisup]

Hello,

I have always been a worrier. I will dwell on something and my active imagination will build on it until it is the worse case scenario.

 

I can relate as I am an anxiety sufferer as well, but can deal with it all much better now.

 

Ever since I had my son 2 years ago, at age 40, it has gotten worse. I am so much more aware of my mortality after having him, and I live in fear of getting something terminal. My H is gone every other week and when he's gone I'm sometimes afraid of going to sleep out of fear that I won't wake up. I see commercials about cancer and wonder if that's foreshadowing.

 

I'll see a news story about a child in danger and imagine what that child is going through and most of the time I get teary-eyed. When we go out in public, I'm so afraid to let my eyes off our son 'cause I'm afraid that he would be kidnapped and I imagine how scared he would be.

 

I suggest finding a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It does sound like anxiety, but it's the obsessive thoughts that I am concerned about it. It's like PPD out of control and it's fed itself into anxiousness all the time.

 

I know it is scary and feels awful - But what you have to know is, those are just thoughts. It isn't reality and it isn't going to happen. I know during that time it seems very real, but if you can journal your thoughts, write it out when you start to feel bad and panic, it'll actually help you see that most of what you fear, really isn't going to happen.

 

My anxiety was more about worries of the future. I now know that it serves no purpose to let my mind wander and think up 'what if' senario's. All that does is work me up and get me to anxiety hell.

 

The thing is, we don't know what the future is, all we know and have is the now.

 

You can learn how to control them, either by going on meds and/or doing the CBT. My bestfriend had obsessive thoughts after her child was born, she got on meds and it helped alot.

 

I've always felt that just when you think you've got it good, something bad's going to happen. My H and I look at our son as such a blessing, we just can't believe that we were so fortunate to have him bestowed upon us. It's just too good to be true so I'm waiting for something to happen.

 

That's the negative thinking taking over, the anxiety, maybe depression too.

 

I do have a family history of this. My mother told me that she was always worrying about such things as well. Her and my father would be driving and she'd see a dead animal on the road and would get upset wondering what they felt when they were hit. She would worry about getting everything packed for vacations and having our plane tickets. Then, she'd worry about keeping all of us together (I have a sister and brother as well) as we made our way through the airports. She now takes medication and it has helped her considerably

 

She had obsessive thoughts too, so it seems it's hereditory. Think about doing the counselling, 1st step. IF you need meds, then try that, but do without unless you're told it's a must. I did all my recovery without taking ONE pill. I'm a med wimp and honestly, my T (therapist) told me that it would be better for me not to go on meds, and only go on them as a last resort.

 

I have high blood pressure, but I'm on medication for that. I'm a little overweight, but I try to eat healthy, and I also exercise. It's my goal to lose weight.

 

Exercise WILL help relieve alot of your anxiety. Yoga, walking, changing your diet, drinking more water, all of it helps. Cut out coffee, even wheat can affect your moods.

 

I'm going to see my family doctor and talk to him about this. I'm at a point where it's overwhelming me. I'm not completely immobilized by this, but I am concerned that if I don't do something soon, it could very easily get that way.

 

You are exactly where I was 4 years ago. I knew it was getting out of control, I was having panic attacks ALL the time, and constantly feeling jittery and anxious. I knew that if I didn't get help soon, I'd get worse, so as hard and scary as it was, I got help. You can do this!

 

It doesn't help that I don't care for where we live. We live in my H's hometown, and I don't like it here. I don't have any of my family around as well.

 

I hope someday you and your H can compromise and move somewhere closer to where your folks live, maybe half way. talk to him about this..

 

Has anybody had a similar situation, or known somebody like this? Is there any reading that anybody would recommend?

 

Take care.

 

The Feeling Good Book, by Dr. David Burns.

Been There, Done That, Try This! By Sam Obitz.

 

Great anxiety books that can help you understand what it is you're feeling.

 

You're not alone! So many people, myself included have suffered from anxiety. Don't be afraid to tell your friends and family, talk about it, get a support system going, as well as CBT.

 

Hope this helps.

[FlyingToaster]

Thank you so much everyone for your replies. It's something of a relief to know that there are others that have 'been there, done that'. It's also nice to get positive responses instead of "just stop thinking that way."

 

WWIU, I would truly like to change things without medication. I hate the thought of being on medication all of my life. I'm still trying to get off of the blood pressure meds. My biggest challenge will be to find a therapist around here. Where we live is a bit remote so it would mean travelling quite a ways. I'll find a way. I'm doing this for my son just as much as I'm doing it for myself. Thank you for the book suggestions as well.

 

My H and I are seriously considering moving closer to my family. With him being gone every other week, it would be less stressful on me if I had some help. We've been looking at houses in that area for the past 3 months or so. Slowly but surely, this will be a reality.

 

Again, thank you!

 

Take care.

[monkey00]

You sound like my mom. She has hypertension also and at times, when she worries...she's all over the place ready to explode. Which of course is only feeding the hypertension.

 

If you don't want to worsen your blood pressure, the only way is to calm down and not worry so much about the small stuff. If that doesn't help you, maybe your last resort is to ask a doctor to prescribe anti-anxiety meds...However I'm not a fan of Western medicine, there usually are side-effects and withdrawal issues which you eventually would have to wean yourself from.

 

It's a good thing that you're not getting panic attacks...because that's the last thing you'd want.

Have you thought of seeing counseling or a shrink?

[Lovelybird]

Hi, I have been on both side "depression" and "relax and joyful and stable". And now I am on the latter. It wasn't something major happened to my circumstances, it happened rather within.

 

I remember Jesus said "don't worry for tomorrow, your worry cannot add one day to your life". And Bible teaches us believers to "meditate on noble, lovely, positive things", and says "what a man think of himself, he IS". So it is very important what we think in daily life, even minute, second. If you focus your mind on negative things, it will draw out of your joy, and joy is your strength to deal with daily life. "Joy of Lord is our strength". Our mind is like an empty glass, do you think it is empty? no, it is filled with air. So is our mind, if we don't fill our mind with positive things, good things, truth that come from God, then most likely our mind will be filled with negative things that can destroy lives.

 

When I have something to bother me, I will go to Lord, and pray and talk to Him. and what He talk back can instantly set me in peace and joy, and open my eyes to new realm and new truth.

 

So, how about try to pray to God, in Jesus name, ask Him to set you free from worry and fear, and reveal to you truth about God when God is in your life, it will be never same as before

 

Here I google a good book, I love Joyce Meyer's books and teachings, she can directly speak into my heart, I am truly blessed by them

 

In Pursuit of Peace: 21 Ways to Conquer Anxiety, Fear, and Discontentment (Meyer, Joyce) by Joyce Meyer

[Green]

I wonder what her relationship with god is like maybe she prayed her anxiety would be better

[Lovelybird]

I don't know, but if one is more closer to God, she/he would have more joy and peace, no much space for worry.

[FlyingToaster]

I do pray to God during these times. I'm not the most religious person; I don't go to church, but I do believe He is here. I don't always ask him to take away the worries, but when I do, I have to repeat it over and over otherwise the negative stuff will push its way back into my thoughts. This is usually when I wake up during the night. I'll eventually fall asleep, and the next time I wake up, I'm typically much more calm.

 

Monkey00, you crack me up. I just envision this teenager rolling their eyes while referring to their parents. I know it doesn't do my hypertension any good worrying, and I don't like to be on meds either. I have considered seeing a counselor. We live in a remote area so I would have to travel to get to one. Also, there aren't a lot of counselors around here that are covered by my H's insurance, so it would be out-of-pocket. It's something we'll have to budget.

 

Right now my biggest issue is that I'm going in tomorrow for a mammogram. I went in last week with a concern. The Dr. checked and she wasn't as worried, but since I hadn't had a mammogram yet this year, she said now would be a good time to get it done. I'm just thinking the worst. I'll be a basket case until I hear from them. I don't know how I'll react if it's something bad. We all know people that have had cancer. You just don't want to be the person everyone you know are talking about.

 

Thanks for all of your replies.

 

Take care.

[whichwayisup]

I hope your appointment goes well. Please post back when you can later today!

 

As for not being on meds, it's OK. Think of meds as an absolute last resort. All I know is, if you really want to fight this thing, the anxiety monster - Basically it's this: What you put into therapy is what you're going to get out of it. Yes, it's ALOT of hard work, but well worth it.

 

Do journal writing daily.

Exercise daily too. Do Yoga and deep breathing exercises, that will help with anxiety and anxious thoughts.

Eat well, rest when you need to and drink alot of water. Cut out caffeine for a while, or to one cup a day. KNOW your triggers - Whether it be PMS/Ovulation time, what foods you eat, stuff you drink, sleep patterns, stress - Keep all that stuff in your daily journal. That helped me alot during the worst of my anxiety and panic attacks..

 

when I do, I have to repeat it over and over otherwise the negative stuff will push its way back into my thoughts. This is usually when I wake up during the night. I'll eventually fall asleep, and the next time I wake up, I'm typically much more calm.

You're half-way there. Positive thinking, distraction, speaking to GOD or a higher spirit, ANYTHING to get you to calm down, do it.

[FlyingToaster]

Thanks for your new reply, WWIU. I'm happy to report that the mammogram showed no issues. This whole past cycle was a bit weird, and I think what I was feeling during my self-exam was part of that weirdness. It's scary though. When I got there, there were 3 other women who were there for issues as well. One of them had to be in her early 30s, if that. She was still there when I left, and I overheard them talking to her about doing an ultrasound. Before I left I wished her well.

 

Now that that is over, I'm going to get myself in to get this stinkin' thinkin' banished from my head. I'm going to look for the books you recommended, and am looking for therapists that deal with cognitive behavior. I don't want to be like this, and I definitely don't want to pass that on to my son.

 

Thank you so much for your replies and concern.

 

Take care.