LoveJonesRomance Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Materialistically. I'll start with list of what I CANNOT compromise (in order of importance): - Height: be 6'0" +, or be gone. -Financial status: will have to make same or more than I do (preferably more). This means he should be prepared to handle at least 3/4 of expenses we both incur. - Better live within 30 miles radius or it won't work - someone with out-of-control kids won't work - 12 years + or - need not apply (unless he complies with Point 1 and 2) What are yours??
Konfuzion Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 WTF is 12 years+ I just want a woman to accept me for who I am. I don't want to compromise anything. Sex twice a week is a must, twice a day would be better or else knowing myself I will be looking for it else ware.
iamenough Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 "This means he should be prepared to handle at least 3/4 of expenses we both incur." That seems quite a bit off balance (imo). Why not 50/50? Just curious.
Jaytb Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Materialistically. I'll start with list of what I CANNOT compromise (in order of importance): - Height: be 6'0" +, or be gone. it amazes me how shallow some people are
westrock Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Materialistically. I'll start with list of what I CANNOT compromise (in order of importance): - Height: be 6'0" +, or be gone. LoveJonesRomance, If he met all of your criteria and more, treated you wonderfully, made you feel like the most cherished woman in the world,... but with the one exception that he was only 5'11"... should he be gone?
Geishawhelk Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Someone who won't wash or brush their teeth may be a challenge. And someone shorter than me. That may seem a bit weird, until you find I'm only 4' 10" myself.... a super-fanatical religious person who has no tolerance levels of anyone else is probably a no-no.... Other than that, any human (male) being capable of being a human (male) being is pretty much fair game.
Isolde Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I always thought it was weird how much importance women place on height. It's not like weight. If a guy is just a bit taller than you and is proportionate with a nice face, what difference does it make? In fact, it's kind of nice to hug someone closer to you in size. I'm 5'4 and I'd date anyone 5'6+ if I thought they were cute. Maybe the OP is really tall for a woman though. Maybe she's like 5'10?
Crestfallen_KH Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I cannot compromise with a man if his moral values are not in line with mine, if he is any way dishonest and not forthcoming, does not honor his commitments, and does not understand that relationships change and grow and take hard work. I cannot compromise if a man lacks empathy, is selfish (doesn't give and take), is mean, cruel or insulting or is emotionally immature and lazy. I also want to be with a man who has shown some initiative since high school (e.g., college, a good career, entrepreneur, etc.) as I have, and doesn't have several divorces or a flock of kids (as I don't either). All of the "superficial" stuff (looks, height, activities, etc.) I can compromise on. In your 30s, I think a person's core values and individuality become more important.
hendersongirl Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 i can't compromise on intelligence. my iq is something higher than 150 - you need a special test after that level, which i'm not interested in. people with 'average' intelligence (even up to about 120-130) seem as retarded to me as iq 70s seem to them. so i need a man in the top 1% of the population in intelligence, otherwise i am bored and frustrated, we can barely converse. it's a curse. needless to say, i am not that picky other than that... my current bf is literally the ONLY person i've ever met who can consistently match me in conversation. imagine if your whole family and all your friends were virtually brain damaged... pretty lonely and frustrating huh. if you've ever seen idiocracy (with luke wilson) you'll have an idea of what life is like for me. ahh the curse of the sub-genius.
Walk Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 ahh the curse of the sub-genius. Sub: meaning "under", "below", or "less than". Your intellect already has me stumped.
Flowerpower7 Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Well for me the guy needs to be employed full time, living on his own (no roommies), be clean, responsible and respectable. Plus having some common interests. I prefer if they are near my age.
Walk Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 My criteria was: a.) Showed through actions that he cares about his family. b.) Had dark sarcastic humor. c.) Stronger then me. d.) Moderate to Good with fiances (meaning, has to be able to live within his means. Money stresses me out so I needed someone who wouldn't compound my issues.) e.) Morally strong - had to understand what he believes in and why, and live his life in line with those beliefs. f.) Tolerant, and patient... very very patient to put up with me. hahaha g.) Good kisser and great partner in bed. h.) Able to see what has to be done, and takes initiative to do it. Follows through to completion what he starts. i.) Thinks about how his actions will affect the people he loves and takes measures to protect, help, encourage, etc. j.) Intelligent (subjective... but someone I could sustain a convo with, who wouldn't find me dull, and I could be challenged by on occasion.) k.) (this one actually goes a lot higher on the list but..) A man who isn't ruled by how others see him, isn't swayed by popular opinion. An independent thinker with the confidence to back it up. That about sums it up...
hendersongirl Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 The 'subgenius' refers to those who are not einstein-or-hawking-style, university-at-8-years-of-age types, but are more intelligent than 99% (or so) of people. Given the latest, highly reliable , estimates on wikipedia, the current population of the world is 6,725,000,000, that still leaves 67,250,000 (67 million) subgenius through to genius people in the world. I don't claim I am a genius, I will probably never invent anything or cure any diseases, but I get bored with most people easily. This is the curse of the subgenius. Just FYI.
Vertex Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 1) They have to be intelligent. I like witty conversation. This is something I don't think I can ever "negotiate"... if a woman isn't bright, I am simply not attracted. I don't necessarily mean "booksmart bright" either. Just someone who knows how to make good decisions, understands what is going on, can form their own opinions, can analyze situations well, and knows how to empathize and how to communicate. Being able to verbally spar once in a while is a lot of fun. 2) Someone who shares my sarcastic style of humor 3) Height isn't that important to me, but I'm like 6' 2", so I think having any more than a foot of height difference would make things awkward. 4) Financially-conscious. That is to say, one who isn't going to blow through cash like crazy. Someone who knows how to budget and be reasonable. 5) Driven. Someone who doesn't give up, but rather tries to make things happen. 6) Thoughtful. It's great to know that someone is thinking of you. 7) Sexually compatible. This one's really hard to negotiate. 8) Understanding. Yes, we all have our flaws. We all get angry or upset from time to time. But knowing how to "fight intelligently' is a large part of communication, and largely requires a lot of empathy and patience. 9) Has hobbies. People who have passions are very interesting to me. 10) Variegated. Someone who is content with just sitting at home, cuddled up while watching a movie, but also loves going out and having fun as well.
wierdmunky Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 3) Height isn't that important to me, but I'm like 6' 2", so I think having any more than a foot of height difference would make things awkward. oh boo I'm 4'11''
djhall Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 This is the curse of the subgenius. Imagine how awful it must be for a true genius to have to put up with someone of your limited intelligence.
Krajt Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Imagine how awful it must be for a true genius to have to put up with someone of your limited intelligence. I am a worm before I am a man, I was a creature before I stand.
djhall Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I am a worm before I am a man, I was a creature before I stand. Ah, Slipknot!
Nemo Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 3) Height isn't that important to me, but I'm like 6' 2", so I think having any more than a foot of height difference would make things awkward. oh boo I'm 4'11'' Come on, now. A pair of 3-inch stilettos, and you're set! If you just can't part with your pumps, then a bouffant hairstyle will capture your man, too.
Adunaphel Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I cannot compromise on commitment level and emotional intelligence. I also need my partner to be neither a manipulative person nor an easy-to-manipulate one. And he must not be a game player or someone who has no problems taking advantage of others.
Author LoveJonesRomance Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 LoveJonesRomance, If he met all of your criteria and more, treated you wonderfully, made you feel like the most cherished woman in the world,... but with the one exception that he was only 5'11"... should he be gone? You just described the one I'm curently dating. So no, 5'11" isn't so bad..
Author LoveJonesRomance Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 it amazes me how shallow some people are lol... I truly get you. I know the pain of being 5'5" and hear some woman would only consider 6'0" + only.. Too bad.
Yamaha Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Materialistically. I'll start with list of what I CANNOT compromise (in order of importance): - Height: be 6'0" +, or be gone. -Financial status: will have to make same or more than I do (preferably more). This means he should be prepared to handle at least 3/4 of expenses we both incur. - Better live within 30 miles radius or it won't work - someone with out-of-control kids won't work - 12 years + or - need not apply (unless he complies with Point 1 and 2) What are yours?? As Dr' Phil would say, "How's that working for you?" ( considering your on LS talking about what you must have ).
Jaytb Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 lol... I truly get you. I know the pain of being 5'5" and hear some woman would only consider 6'0" + only.. Too bad. I'm actually 5' 10", but does it really matter? height should never be more important than things like personality, but the way you phrased it, it looks it's the only thing that's important. The superficial stuff like that won't keep a relationship together. it won't make a relationship better. well, if you care so much about height, then just ignore my post. there's not much to say that hasn't already been said elsewhere.
westrock Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 LoveJonesRomance, You just described the one I'm curently dating. So no, 5'11" isn't so bad.. That's an interesting response. I guess that means for you that "Height: be 6'0" +, or be gone." isn't really a "CANNOT compromise" item for you or at least it is not really #1 on your list as you wrote in your original posting. Is that correct? I'm not saying that as criticism, but to give you some more clarity as to what your true list is for qualities that you can and cannot compromise on.
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