Tony T Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I was just browsing a dating site I happened on a link to. I quote from one of the profiles: "I like. Night, walks, kisses in the rain, cuddling, vodka and pineapple juice, outdoors, camping, concerts, campfires, good times with good memories. I am a single mom. I have a 12yr old, 10 yr old and twin 2 years olds." She is average looking, not ugly. Maybe slightly pudgy...she has had four kids! OK, now the question. What are the chances this lady, who is 31, will find someone? She may possibly find a date here and there if the kids stay home...but beyond that what are the chances any man will take on this situation? Just wondering.
JoeNewbie Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 She may possibly find a date here and there if the kids stay home...but beyond that what are the chances any man will take on this situation? Honestly? Very slim.
LoveJonesRomance Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Wow, 4 kids will pull her back, way, way, back.
Lucky_One Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I don't know. But I do think that there are a fair number of shy men out there who are fat and sort of geeky, and who might like to have had children. When we get older, our priorities change greatly. And she might find "takers" from that group - the men who know that they won't get "hotties" with no kids. My sister who is 41 just married for the first time. She is overweight and she married a fantastic man (also overweight); they met online in a local chat room, and hit it off bc they could both overcome their natural shyness and establish a connection before they met in person. Between their low self-esteem and their shyness, they probably would have never met without the internet, nor given each other a chance had they been younger. It seems like being "hot" is all people who are younger than 35 want in a partner. Let these people get a bit older, and they will find that interesting conversation and snuggling and watching kids play baseball games are equally as important as tallying up the occurence of oral sex.
nittygritty Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 The two year old twins would be a tough sell but she might be able to abandon them all at a hospital like the father of 9 recently did and start all over.
Balthazar Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Well, if she finds a guy with 4 kids they may audition for an enhanced, 21st century version of the BRADY BUNCH with 8 kids instead of just 6. Here's the story of a lovely lady Who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, The youngest one in curls.
Siciliana Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I am sure there is a man with 4 kids who like all the same things she does who she would end up being able to date. Remember, men have kids, too.
Trialbyfire Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Law enforcement agencies recommend that mothers like this, don't mention their children, since pedophiles go onto dating sites to hunt. I admire her honesty but I think she needs to be warned about situations like this. Edit - hang on, maybe this profile is from a law enforcement agency!
johan Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Edit - hang on, maybe this profile is from a law enforcement agency! That's a good thought. Be careful, Tony.
djhall Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Law enforcement agencies recommend that mothers like this, don't mention their children, since pedophiles go onto dating sites to hunt. I admire her honesty but I think she needs to be warned about situations like this. Unfortuntately true . A woman not mentioning that she has children at all would cause another set of issues by not screenting out people who will drop her the second they find out she has kids. As a compromise, women might consider listing they have children, but witholding any details about ages or genders. Only child sex offeners in the preferential classes typically "hunt" for children, and those classes also tend to focus on specific ages and genders. By witholding details about ages and genders you limit your appeal to sex offenders who are most likely to hunt while still screening out other people who would not contact you if they knew you had kids.
Author Tony T Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Leave it to LoveShackers to take a thread way way way off topic. For the purpose of my question, let's assume that the people who see the ad on the net ARE NOT pedophiles, sexual predators, or other criminal types. Now, can we get back to the discussion...please!
Trialbyfire Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Okay Tony. I don't see too many men wanting to take the mantle of step-father for 4 young children, no matter how nice she is. As another member previously mentioned, the Brady bunch situation would be about it.
vonerik012 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I do have a friend that married a woman with 4 children. However she used to be married to a physician, and she gets excellent child support. She also used to be a model. So that would be a rare situation. However, it seems a large percentage of the emails I received when I used to online date were from older women with 2-4 kids, seeking a ltr. I have no idea what they were thinking by emailing me. A single man, younger, with no children. How can she get takers? They often times offer sex, and then a guy might get hooked on the sex and slowly overlook the fact that she has 4 kids. Might....If she is extremely nice, a great cook, etc etc.
pretty professional Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 She may not be your perfect package, but she may be plenty of other men's perfect package. Just because she is not your personal preference, doesn't mean there aren't other men who will love her and love her children and accept her complete package, non anorexic figure and children. It's not like men never marry women with children. It happens all the time. It's not a rare occurence. And lots of men actually look beyond the exterior and "baggage" and find a diamond in the rough. they are actually looking for a connection and look past what may appear as negatives to others. A man who will love her twin babies as well as her, and love her from the inside out, well, he is a true gem. and there are lots of diamonds out there.
Lishy Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 With that amount of kids, no wonder the poor girl likes vodka and pineapple!! I know women who have lots of kids and have no problem meeting men!
BlueEyedGirl Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 It all depends on if she has assertive, confident personality and if she is good in bed. There are heaps socially awkawrd, shy, geeky not attractive men who can't get a date. If she is not picky and has above mentioned qualities, there will be no problem.
spookie Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 It probably depends on her "expectations" for the other person's qualities. As it has been pointed out, there are plenty of geeky guys who'd love to be in relationships, children or not. It's all about who you market yourself to, IMO.
pretty professional Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 With that amount of kids, no wonder the poor girl likes vodka and pineapple!! I know women who have lots of kids and have no problem meeting men! Just because she likes vodka and pineapple doesn't mean she is a drunk and drinks it all the time. I enjoy a mixed drink every once in a while. Does this make me a drunk? No.
johan Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Just because she likes vodka and pineapple doesn't mean she is a drunk and drinks it all the time. I enjoy a mixed drink every once in a while. Does this make me a drunk? No. Well... the first step to fixing the problem... it's ok if you want to tell us something. We're all friends here.
Shygirl15 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I guess dating a woman with 4 kids is as difficult as dating a woman with 1 mentally-challenged kid. Many were more than happy to say bye-bye, when they found out this .
pretty professional Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Well... the first step to fixing the problem... it's ok if you want to tell us something. We're all friends here. Uh, WTF are you talking about? I was simply stating that just because she states on a personal ad that she enjoys vodka and pineapple doesn't mean she is drinking to escape her children and that her children would drive her to this. she might not even drink that much.
djhall Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Just because she likes vodka and pineapple doesn't mean she is a drunk and drinks it all the time. I enjoy a mixed drink every once in a while. Does this make me a drunk? No. I think what people find strange is that she finds it worthy of listing in her profile as something strangers should know about her. I like long island ice teas, but it would never occur to me to list it in my profile unless I had the song about Pina Coladas and walks in the rain stuck in my head.
pretty professional Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I think what people find strange is that she finds it worthy of listing in her profile as something strangers should know about her. I like long island ice teas, but it would never occur to me to list it in my profile unless I had the song about Pina Coladas and walks in the rain stuck in my head. I thought it was clever, like the song actually.
Nemo Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Well... the first step to fixing the problem... it's ok if you want to tell us something. We're all friends here. :lmao: Didn't that one backfire.
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