my body is a cage Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Ok, last week or so I posted here asking what the deal was with this guy who kept flaking on me. He would send me a text message ask me what I was doing, or tell me in person that we should hang out, then never respond to my response text message or call me. Yet he would seem VERY happy to see me when I ran into him. I decided last weekend that I had had it with his flakey behavior. I all but ignored him at this party, which apparently he noticed, because all of a sudden, he's contacting me frequently again. Take a look at these text messages! Thursday night: him: Hey ___ are you out tonight? me (1.5 hrs later): Hey, I was out tonight, now I'm about to go to bed, early class tomorrow, we should hang out soon tho! him (2 min later): Yea for sure So after that I was like oh ok cool whatever I guess I'll hear from him in like a month... but THEN Friday night (all the names are street names): him: ___ what are you up to tonight? me (1 hr later): about to go out, you? him: im at a party on court near pearl, where are you? me: im going to fountain i think. him: whats on fountain? me: a house party i guess. me: sorry i didnt mean to press send yet. how is court? him: its ok i would come to fountain though me: ok him (30 min later): where on fountain? me: actually, idk the house number, youll see it, i might go to hirise though him: i was going to come to fountain let me know when you leave me (20 min later): haha im still here Nothing for like 20 minutes, so I leave and go to a friends room because the party is boring... him: hey where are you now me: im in (this close by dorm) watching a movie him: im near there with some friends who are you watching a movie with? me: ___, ____ and ____. the movie is almost over. him: Cool if you want to hang out later ill be up him (10 minutes later): what movie? him (10 minutes later): wanna come hang out in my place? so at this point, I decided to call him because the text conversation was getting ridiculous. not that the call wasnt ridiculous. it was something like: him: heyy me: hey whats up him: nothing what are you doing? what movie did you watch? me: smoking aces. im about to go to mcdonalds and then i might go to bed but im not sure. him: what are you getting at mcdonalds? me: idk a snackwrap? him: cool. me: yeah, what are you doing? him: im at blah blah blah me: oh that sounds cool! him: you should come instead of going to mcdonalds! me: no im going to mcdonalds but I will def call you when i get back so i go to mcdonalds, come back, when im walking back to the dorm i see a group of people across the street and im pretty sure hes one of them. then i get another text message from him: him: hey me: hey are you still at blah blah blah him: no im at a house across from blah blah what are you doing? me: oh, im in blah blah blah, eating mcdoanlds haha, i might go to sleep soon though and that was it. (he gave up?) how RIDICULOUS is that?! that went on for THREE hours! (it seems like less time typed up but it spanned a long period of time) and he was sooo persistent... texting me three times in a row? The thing is, I DO really like him aside from his flakiness. We have very similar interests, get along really well, and I am very physically attracted to him. We have hooked up a few times, and dated briefly in the past, and while I would really like to hook up with him, I don't want to get hurt. I'm just really unsure of what to do! Do you think I handled the situation well? Or do you think he hates me now/ thinks I'm a tease? Or stupid or crazy? haha I guess one of my major questions is if someone was responding to your texts like this would be angry and not be interested in them anymore? Is he even interested? Or did he just want ass REALLY badly that night? Do you think he will contact me again?
Lucky_One Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 It sounds like he was trying to get you to come to his room for a one-nighter hookup. You told him Thursday night that you were still interested in him, and he was horny on Friday and he wouldn't have to put a lot of effort into it, esp since you have hooked up in the past.
carhill Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Do you really feel that this kind of interaction is good relationship material or potential? Why? Personally, I wouldn't waste my time. Perhaps other LS members are far more wise than I
eric82 Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 if you really like him, why do you keep passing on chances to hang out with him? when he said he was coming to where you were, you told him you might be going elsewhere. when he asked you to come over to his place, you said you were going to mcdonalds instead. when he asked you later what you were doing, you turned him down again by saying you were probably going to sleep. sounds to me like you weren't interested in seeing him. if you want your interactions with him to be less flakey, stop being that way towards him.
cheezy100 Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 if you really like him, why do you keep passing on chances to hang out with him? when he said he was coming to where you were, you told him you might be going elsewhere. when he asked you to come over to his place, you said you were going to mcdonalds instead. when he asked you later what you were doing, you turned him down again by saying you were probably going to sleep. sounds to me like you weren't interested in seeing him. if you want your interactions with him to be less flakey, stop being that way towards him. I absolutely agree with this. I personally don't text my bf and he doesn't text me anymore. but it did seem like you guys are playing hide and seek. turning him down. i also agree with another person that he might be just horny and trying to get you to his house that night.
Author my body is a cage Posted September 27, 2008 Author Posted September 27, 2008 hmm. do you think hes angry that i acted like i did?
iamenough Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 hmm. do you think hes angry that i acted like i did? I agree with eric82. You passed up a lot of chances to hang out. I wouldn't say he's angry but he probably thinks you're not interested. If he asks you to hang out again, go. If you don't want to go to his place, suggest somewhere else.
2sunny Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 quit stating where you both are or aren't and plan to be somewhere at the same time. or better yet - what about him actually picking you up for an evening out... hmmmm - oh ya, that would be too simple. he's playing with you and you are playing with him. just state your intentions and make it easier.
Author my body is a cage Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 ok, UPDATE! he texted me AGAIN last night. this time earlier, around 9 or so. him: hey what are you up to tonight? me: not sure yet! you? him: my friend is having a party on vine, wanna come? me: sure where on vine? no response to that, did my own thing. 2 hours or so later. him: hey this party is lame, what are you doing? before i responded i think i actually walked by the party he was at with a friend, while he was on the porch. it was dark and such tho so i dont know if he saw me (hope he didnt, that would be weird) then i texted him: im on wash. nada mas! whhhattt gives?
carhill Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Remind me again how old you all are? This reminds me of tin can string telephone when I was eleven and thought girls were cute. Giggle, giggle IMO, and I'm not commenting about you here, there's a complete lack of maturity for an adult monogamous relationship. What do you want with this guy? Do you want to "hang out" or do you want to date and grow a relationship?
Author my body is a cage Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 Remind me again how old you all are? This reminds me of tin can string telephone when I was eleven and thought girls were cute. Giggle, giggle IMO, and I'm not commenting about you here, there's a complete lack of maturity for an adult monogamous relationship. What do you want with this guy? Do you want to "hang out" or do you want to date and grow a relationship? haha a lack of maturity? i like that explanation. im 19, hes 22. (were at college.) he IS mature when im actually spending time with him, you know? compared to guys my age, at least.
carhill Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Just so you're aware, "maturity" is a continuum, not situational. I'm not faulting him in any way, just pointing out what I see as someone old enough to be your father. You have to admit his flakiness has kept you interested, no? So, such must be attractive to you at this point in your life. IMO, it's hard to have it both ways (attracted to the uncertainty, but desirous of sincerity and maturity) so you'll either have to just ride the rollercoaster or get off and find one more suitable to your taste. Lots of boys with cell phones and unlimited txt plans in the sea, yes?
2sunny Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 next time just don't respond at all... what a worthless waste of energy.:sick::sick: if he ever actually tries to place a REAL phone call to you - you can allow him to understand that wasting a gal's time should be taken to someone else.
LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 How come all the texts sound like he wants to get laid? I don't know, I just interpret them as such "booty call" type texts. Number one, I don't understand why he doesn't call, secondly, I don't understand how he can't just make plans with you. It's always these late night, last minute, post party, impromptu hang out invites, esp. with one to come over to his place. Sounds like it's just sex he's interested in, or something very casual as in, "i'm here, where are you, let's meet up, and that combined with his flakiness is suspect!" It's like he's trying to line up several prospects for the night and when you guys are somehow unable to synch up, he just stops texting and is unresponsive again. Either way, not a really rosy picture here!
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