Lonelystar Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I guess I just need a place to rant. I have been doing "okay" these past two months. However, today I cried my eyes out in the shower and then again a couple of minutes ago. I miss him so much, and I don't know how I will be able to survive this. He was my first love, and it is so hard to let him go from my heart. I feel like I will never make a connection with someone like I did with him. He seems to be doing fine, but then again I don't really know how he is. Last I talked to him he said he missed me and thought about us a lot, but it didn't make me feel any better. I keep listening to sad songs, and I don't know why I am torturing myself. *sigh*. The weekend is here, and I have to go shopping with my cousin who is getting married. She is so lucky, and in ways I am jealous of her. She is marrying her highschool sweetheart, and they have been together for 11 years. I am very happy for her, but I wish I had that. How could someone say they still love you, and not want you. I guess I will never understand.
lofi_tokyo Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I can relate to your feelings lonelystar - my first love just moved on too. I think you'll get better each day, and its okay to slip up and cry it all out now and then. Its good to work towards moving on, but missing him is alright, its natural. My ex also told me he loved me. When I asked him why he did not keep trying he said he just wanted out for a while. Then he found another girl... but continued to say he loved me, and probably always would. Theres an answer to that though... I think, from what I'm hearing on the forums... you can love a girl, but not be "in love". Theres a difference. ;p I dont know about your situation, but my ex is 20, I'm 19. I'm assuming "in love" means you can see yourself with that person forever, seriously. I could imagine my ex and I together years down the road, he felt the same... but were so young - it was too long to wait I suppose. You cant spend all your life waiting on a hope. So... if you're in a situation like me, first love, and still young then... be strong, hang in there. Think about the future you have ahead of you, start talking to new people. Its hard, believe me I know, but you can do it. Eventually you'll start to feel a heck of a lot better. And you never know, maybe in moving on, you'll find an even better guy you never would have met if you were with your ex.
JooLee Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 tokyovogue is right. you have to look forward, not backward. thinking back on memories will only kill you more and more. i know its hard, i truly understand but its just something you have to do. in a situation like these you have to push yourself to be strong. because sometimes, its the only choice you have. its good though that you cried and let it all out. sooner of later these emotions will fade and everything will get better... day by day... right now your only enemy is your mind.. the part of mind that keeps replaying over n over again.. fight against it. memories are memories and sometimes bad memories shud jus be left forgotten. in my situation, i decided that my ex wasnt worth keeping as a memory so i just push every thought of him away.. the good and the bad. its a struggle.. but im determine.. and i rather go through life with no memory of him. the first cut is the deepest they say. but you'll get through this... we'll get through this. until you decide he's not worth stalling your life and letting these emotions take over you, you will go nowhere. its your call.. when you're ready to move on. leave the past... live in the present and for the future. its the thing that will get you by... hope u feel better soon.
Deegee Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I'm sorry LS, But, it's okay to cry, really....it's very therapuetic, and you'll feel so much better. I STILL cry, not as much as I used to, but it's getting better./ And you will too, I promise. Who know's how someone can say they love you, then just walk away without a fight? Do yourself a favor, and try to just let it be....I know, I know, it's a bit difficult, but I truly believe that if it was meant to be, then it will be. Stay strong, we'll be here if you need us.
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