siris Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Please offer some advice. LoveShack Community I meet this beautiful young lady @ work. Since day one the two of us have had this amazing attraction between the two of us. Walks in the park, talking on the phone until the Sun comes up, sipping on latte. We meet unfortunatly @ a low point in her life; her fiance was leaving her. So I became I guess the shoulder to cry on. The person to help build back up her self-esteem. I was always there for her trying to help anyway I can. All of a sudden the phone calls and conversation between us is slacking off due to she now feels we should not depend on one another as much for conversation or anything else. During the time that she was depressed she would tell me how much she cared about me how wonderful she thought I was and how she wanted to spend more time with me. She would tell me she loved me. But all of a sudden she now makes it clear that I'm just a friend and that I should not expect her to call me and hang out the way we did. I'm taking this in a bad way. I dont know if I should keep trying to talk to her or give her what she wants the absents of my presence. I just feel like I have been used. She has never said that she does not want to talk but she is making it plain that I should find a new interest. Im just confused over the whole thing she truly made me feel as if we had something now she is making me feel that I some how lost control and got to close to her. So please offer some advice. Should I act like she wants me to or what?
Geishawhelk Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 She leant on you as a friend. You saw something deeper. She didn't, and then made it clear, because I think she may have seen you were beginning to get attached. She's not going to take it further. She's been quite open and honest about that from the start. She was vulnerable and in need of someone for support, and that's all she wanted. Move on. Let it be. It's not going to happen, and she never deliberately led you on to think that.
Author siris Posted September 27, 2008 Author Posted September 27, 2008 Thanks a mill 4 the reply. But there were a few things left out to make the thread short. Its true what you said that she wanted friendship but to tell me I love u and also statements like as soon as he is truly out of my life there is no doubt Im going to be with u; she truly confused me. Also there were many friends trying to help her see the light @ the end of the tunnel but she did not spend time with them whisper sweet nothings in their ear this was all done with me. It even got to the point of meeting family members who like the idea of us potentially getting 2gether we seem to love the fact that they accepted and gave their stamp of approval. But as more time went on and her self-esteem increased I became less of a factor to her it seems. Now I apprear to be just someone she used to know. So once again should I act as if she does not exsit? There is no hatred in my heart 4 her but I do feel played.
Geishawhelk Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Well, ok... so it would have helped to have known that before...... Look at it from her angle. She's insecure and scared of getting burned again. Whilst everything was burbling along and she was on an emotional roller-coaster, she may have said things driven by her emotional upheaval. Now I think she may be scared she said too much and led you on..... You'll have to use the softly-softly approach, back off and let her do the work. Be there for her, expect nothing - and wait.
UbisoftAssassin Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 She may have had deep feelings for you to say she loved you in a genuine way as in she may have considered a deeper relationship once she was over things but she could have fallen out of love with you? I was in a similar situation a few months back really close with this girl we both had problems and stuff and we was always there for each other we got real close i also went to meet her family and they seemed to like me but then we started arguing over stupid stuff and i guess she fell out of love with me. They may seem similar but now the same but when i finally asked her and she said no she said she did sorta like me in the past before things happened so maybe the girl you was close with also lost feelings for you for a different reason
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