Inarut84 Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Posts are here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t165049/ and http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t164789/ Long story short, I feel just horrible. I was an awesome person to her. I helped her out the best I could and let her know that I was there for her. I got along GREAT with her kids, we had fun when we went out, the attraction was there (atleast I think, I don't really understand that part, why would she want me to touch her if she didn't find me attractive? I wouldn't want anyone I wasn't attracted to touching me.) But still she goes for the ass that totally gave her the wrong impression, that doesn't want any real relationship, that makes her cry, that is leaving in Spring for Iraq, and that is probably just using her for a booty call/rebound. He just had a new baby last year and they split up. Where did I go wrong?
Ronni_W Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Where did I go wrong? I didn't read your other posts, but maybe the only place you ARE going wrong is in your assumption/perception that YOU did anything wrong? What if it's just that she cannot, for whatever reason, cannot appreciate or does not feel worthy of having good stuff in her life? What if it is her own stuff, and not you or your stuff?
Mike B. Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Posts are here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t165049/ and http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t164789/ Long story short, I feel just horrible. I was an awesome person to her. I helped her out the best I could and let her know that I was there for her. I got along GREAT with her kids, we had fun when we went out, the attraction was there (atleast I think, I don't really understand that part, why would she want me to touch her if she didn't find me attractive? I wouldn't want anyone I wasn't attracted to touching me.) But still she goes for the ass that totally gave her the wrong impression, that doesn't want any real relationship, that makes her cry, that is leaving in Spring for Iraq, and that is probably just using her for a booty call/rebound. He just had a new baby last year and they split up. Where did I go wrong? As stated above, I did not read your original post but your post above is sufficient enough. Why assume that you did anything wrong just because she is stuck on someone else? For one, if someone heart lays with someone else, no matter what you do or say, you cannot reroute their heart until that person decides to let the other person go themself. This is why being the rebound person is notoriously for getting screwed because the person that is picking up the rebound victim has yet to let go of their true interest and has not allowed themselves the time to do it. I would avoid the belief that being nice and supportive should translate into you getting and holding on to your romantic interest. I try to be a decent person and lover because I feel it is the right thing for me to do and it helps me to be happy with what I see when I look in the mirror. But one thing I have learned is that it has little to do with attraction and passion. Attraction and passion is so complicated that it almost futile to think about it outside of your basic grooming, confidence, and manners. Please trust me when I say don't even waste your time trying to figure out where you "went wrong." No one knows the answer and your imagination will only lead you to every freakin possibility that it possibly can and it will stilll not lead you to the multifactorial and obscure answers that even your ex likely doesn't understand or realize herself. Move on and you will eventually find someone who will align with your traits and there will be no mystery. It will just be and it will just feel great.
ahhhchooo Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I skimmed over your other posts - it seems like you're just trying to go for someone who is still emotionally involved with another. You really can't change that, and I'm talking from first hand experience of someone attempting to lead me astray after a break up - while I was still emotionally involved with the ex. Your efforts are being wasted. Move on, heal and find someone else to focus them on.
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