MizzBlue72 Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 Keep sleeping with him if that is what you both want to do. You are both adults. When something else happens (A is discovered, etc.) address it then. Sounds like you both want this.
White Flower Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Tess, I am glad you decided NOT to go for the affair, because of three reasons: 1. It seems like guilt would have eaten you up had you pursued it, which would have ruined all the pleasure and your marriage. 2. The sex would likely turn into love; it's scientifically proven that when women make love, their bodies release hormones that make them feel very close and connected to the man. 3. All loves end up sour, so it's better to stop them before they grow. On the other hand: 1. The aforementioned hormones are beneficial for a woman's physical and psychological wellbeing. 2. You only live once... RC, I have missed you. I especially miss your ability to reason for both sides. BTW, the more orgasms one has, the younger they look. http://www.press.jhu.edu/books/title_pages/8502.html http://www.press.jhu.edu/books/title_pages/2867.html
White Flower Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Oh so true! WF - I missed you!! I have missed you too, darling!
Author Tess2005 Posted October 21, 2008 Author Posted October 21, 2008 Well, it's been over three weeks since I told the MM that our affair was over but I am having a very tough time with this. I see him everyday and it's all I can do to keep away from him. I'm afraid that I am going to "backslide" and start this whole mess up again. Please tell me how to control these feelings. I'm not really sure how he feels, he was very attentive before and now it seems like it is all business. How can he forget what we had and act as if nothing happened? That bothers me alot because now I'm afraid he just used me but of course he would never admit to it. Oh well, enough of my ramblings, guess I will just have to deal with this and hope that I can get over it. Thanks for any thoughts.
jj33 Posted October 21, 2008 Posted October 21, 2008 Tess its not that he doesnt think about you but you told him it is over so there is no basis for him to shower you with the same attention. And if he does he is going to want more so the only answer is for him to be more distant with you. I had an affair with a colleague and it has been over for more than a year. Not a day goes by when I dont think of him. Some days I still miss him and its like a part of me is missing. But I dont go back. Why? Because its just a mess. I dont have the same considerations you do I am not married and the whole situation is very different. But the bottom line is if you get involved with someone you work with it will spiral outof control. Be glad it only went on a few weeks. If you go back to it you may be putting your marriage at risk. More importantly you are violating your own values. Everyone lives by their own code. Having an A carries a huge emotional price tag one that you dont sound like you are willing to pay in terms of your faith or your other beliefs.
Lizzie60 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 RC, I have missed you. I especially miss your ability to reason for both sides. BTW, the more orgasms one has, the younger they look. http://www.press.jhu.edu/books/title_pages/8502.html http://www.press.jhu.edu/books/title_pages/2867.html I knew it couldn't be just my genes..
signedin2008 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 What kind of work place is this that you have all these alone time with him to mess around? If you don't tell your husband, there is always going to be a secret/wall between the two of you. He deserves to know what's going on and to make his own decision as to divorce or make the effor to repair and move on. You will NEVER EVER have true intimacy again with your husband untill you're honest. I hope you can live with the guilt for the rest of your life for continue to lie and make a fool out of this man you called a great man and whom you married to.
jwi71 Posted October 22, 2008 Posted October 22, 2008 To Parrot others, you have already betrayed your spouse and your religious beliefs. One more time. You have already betrayed your H and your religious beliefs. Knowing this, what makes you think you can resist this man for an extended period of time? With daily contact it is far to easy to rekindle your affair. Look how easy it was to fall into it to begin with. I personally believe you need to resign and find another job. Each day and each time you see him its a reminder of "what could have been". Your mind will excuse away his behavior with the flimsiest of excuses. Its a temptation you have proven incapable of resisting. I have weaknesses. Cheesecake. Damn, I love cheesecake. I truly cannot resist - I swear I get weak in the knees and that just isn't very manly. Knowing that am I weak for cheesecake, I don't hang out at The Cheesecake Factory. And you should quit your job.
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