LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Has anyone ever dated a person who has billions of hobbies? Did that make dating or a relationship with them difficult? Did you feel like just another one of their "hobbies/activities" that they occasionally made time for? How did that work out in the long run? I am currently dating a guy who, kid you not, has billions of hobbies. He sky dives, scuba dives, snowboards, is on a softball team, basketball team, bowling team, plays music and wants to join a band, golfs, attends sporting events, wine tasting, loves going to concerts, travels almost every weekend (whether local or back to his old stomping grounds since he just moved here), attends almost every major event IN town and OUT of town! He seems almost obsessive with his hobbies and activities! Since I just met him and we've only just been dating, we're hanging out on the weekdays since his weekends have been planned out months in advance (before he even met me) and he's really busy during the week so our weeknight hangouts are limited since we both have to work the next morning. So far I really like him and we click - things are so "natural" between us and we just have so much fun together whether doing things or just talking. The fact that he's so multi faceted attracted me to him in the first place, but I'm starting to think this guy will never have time to even get to know me, nevertheless have time for me if things become more serious. He has expressed interest, however, and we have been hanging out regularly since we met a couple of weeks ago. Does a person like this make for a bad romantic partner? Has anyone dated a person like this and what was your experience dating such a person? Is this a major red flag?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Do any of these activities sound like fun to you? It sounds like he is well rounded and making the most out of the life he has. That's a good thing! Only time will tell if he lets up a little on the "events" to just spend some casual time with a lady friend. I think I would get a little tired being always on the go. I personally need some down time to do, well, nothing. I say go for it and see how it works for you. You could even learn something new.
superd Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Wow, all thos activities, it sounds like he has panic attacks and runs from one activity to the next to try and quell his fears (i.e. the fear of getting close to you).
Author LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 26, 2008 Author Posted September 26, 2008 Do any of these activities sound like fun to you? It sounds like he is well rounded and making the most out of the life he has. That's a good thing! Only time will tell if he lets up a little on the "events" to just spend some casual time with a lady friend. I think I would get a little tired being always on the go. I personally need some down time to do, well, nothing. I say go for it and see how it works for you. You could even learn something new. Thanks for your reply! Yes, half of these seem really fun to me! Others I just don't have the nerves to do, like sky diving! Yikes! lol I think in some ways I was drawn to him because I've been focusing on grad school (recently graduated) and my career so much I haven't had much time to pursue my own hobbies so his "zest" for life really attracted me to him. However, I am much more moderate and definitely need my R n R time! lol Also, I'm not sure if he's the type to want to share these activities with that special lady in his life or whether he compartmentalizes things. So far he hasn't invited me to do any of these things, although we have talked about going dancing together, attending jazz events, and he's going to teach me to play an instrument or two, so maybe if we get more serious down the line that he would share some of these things with me! I do get the impression he hasn't included his ex gfs into much of this aspect of his life. I think that's where he has activity partner friends. I don't know, I guess I will just have to wait and see.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Yes, I definitely think this is a wait and see situation. Maybe he didn't involve previous gf's because he didn't have strong feelings for them, therefore he was compartmentalizing. If he grows strong feelings for you the situation could be different. It is also possible that the old gf's weren't interested in these activities.
Author LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 26, 2008 Author Posted September 26, 2008 Wow, all thos activities, it sounds like he has panic attacks and runs from one activity to the next to try and quell his fears (i.e. the fear of getting close to you). I know, it's almost manic! Well, I'm not sure if it has to do with the fear of getting close to me since I've only met him 3 weeks ago and he has been "obsessed" with his hobbies and activities for as long as he's been, well, old enough to do any of these things. Part of me wonders whether he's just so life loving and wants to live life to the fullest or whether he is secretly unhappy with some aspect of his life that he needs the extra adrenaline rush from all these things to mask something. Then it's whether I'm just going to be another one of his hobbies/activities he makes time for once in awhile.
All Star Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Be advised that this is a game that married men play. Make sure this guy is really busy and not just married. The game is to make you think that he is so busy that you won;t dare try to see him on a weekend.
Author LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 26, 2008 Author Posted September 26, 2008 Be advised that this is a game that married men play. Make sure this guy is really busy and not just married. The game is to make you think that he is so busy that you won;t dare try to see him on a weekend. No he's in his mid 20's, I've been to his house and met his roommates so I know his living arrangement. He rents a one bedroom in a huge house with 4 other male roommates. Thanks for the warning, I can see how this is can happen, but I've seen photos of him sky diving recently, scuba diving recently, met a few of his softball team members, seen him bruised up/injured from sports games, etc, seen all the instruments in his bedroom, he puts single on his FB status, all his friends on FB comment about how they can't wait to see him again when he comes back to visit next week...., etc. That's not my concern, it's more will he have time for me?
All Star Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Just checking. The four buddies isn't proof. That could just be 4 buddies covering for him and allowing him to use that house to play around. I'd like it better if he lived alone. That good proof. But if you're satisfied, then great! Only you know
Author LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 26, 2008 Author Posted September 26, 2008 Just checking. The four buddies isn't proof. That could just be 4 buddies covering for him and allowing him to use that house to play around. I'd like it better if he lived alone. That good proof. But if you're satisfied, then great! Only you know Yeah, I am confident he's unmarried.
Recommended Posts