Mellie Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 In room 1005 I had MM all to myself but only for a short time. In room 1005 MM kissed me touched me had sex with me,but never wanted to stay there with me and talk to me after the sex was over. In room 1005 MM made me feel special for a short time,and afterwards I felt used and like a w****. In room 1005 MM told me he loved me,but the very next day called me and ended our relationship. Room 1005 is where MM and I would meet to have sex which was a total of four times. MM never wanted to spend time with me,he never wanted to actually hang out,if we were'nt making out or having sex MM did not want to see me. I would beg MM to get away from his W on weekend nights and he would promise to do so,but it always ended up in broken promises. I don't understand why MM said he loved me,but then left me.He promised me we were going to be together he said he was going to leave his W. In room 1005 MM told me lies and hurt me nothing was real,I just don't understand why he did this to me.
Terminator Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 In room 1005 MM told me lies and hurt me nothing was real,I just don't understand why he did this to me. Because you let him. You showed him how little value you placed in yourself; why would you expect him to hold you in any higher regard?
TogetherForever Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 I know why Mellie. It was only about the sex he wanted. TF
DealingWDrama Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Not knowing the MM you are talking about I can't speak for him. I can however tell you that when someone is in a marriage - they do not belong to anyone else other than their spouse. Sounds like this MM is using you. The best thing you can do for yourself is to concentrate on you!!! Find time to better yourself for yourself so you can find a relationship with someone who is willing and able to give you all that you deserve in life...lies, betrayal, broken promises, and sneaking around are not what you deserve. Love yourself....be good to yourself...and a real relationship can be bounded for you.
Deegee Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 He's a coward, a liar, and a cheat. THAT'S why! Count your blessings, and thank God you just dodged a bullet! Good Luck!
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Be glad he's ended it. Fix yourself, get therapy to help you if need be. Work on you, get yourself esteem back and find a single guy who can offer you the world, not just a body part.
torranceshipman Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 He's a sad, sad waste of space loser, thats why! Dont let any other guy treat you like that tho.
NoIDidn't Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Such a sad poem, but the sadness has inspired you. Look on the bright side. At least you didn't see the MM's W run him over in the parking lot outside of Room 1005.
Ronni_W Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I just don't understand why he did this to me. Mellie, Your post is quite poignant. Maybe he thought he was a stronger person, and that he could handle it? And then, maybe that turned out to be only his illusion of himself, and so he did what he had to do, to extricate himself? Maybe even, he would have liked to have been the person who could have pulled it off? And maybe you helped him believe, if only for a short while, that he was that person? Sorry that you're hurting. Ronni
blueberry Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Love the poem. A good outlet. Have to ask though - is it a hotel? Or a "dorm" just curious
Author Mellie Posted September 27, 2008 Author Posted September 27, 2008 Actually it was a cheap motel payed for by the hour right down the street from his workplace. He would leave during work hour's to come meet up with me. He could afford a much nicer place but he never wanted to go to a better place.
NoIDidn't Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Actually it was a cheap motel payed for by the hour right down the street from his workplace. He would leave during work hour's to come meet up with me. He could afford a much nicer place but he never wanted to go to a better place. Ewwww. I feel you. I remember going to one of those things with my now H. Looking back, I should have insisted on someplace else. Don't get down about it though. You live you learn. And you, in particular, might have a career as a writer/poet. Even though its subject matter was saddening, I enjoyed it.
blueberry Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Actually it was a cheap motel payed for by the hour right down the street from his workplace. He would leave during work hour's to come meet up with me. He could afford a much nicer place but he never wanted to go to a better place. Cheap / expensive - doesn't really matter when its your heart that's up on the bargaining table.
bentnotbroken Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Actually it was a cheap motel payed for by the hour right down the street from his workplace. He would leave during work hour's to come meet up with me. He could afford a much nicer place but he never wanted to go to a better place. Yet, you were willing to meet him 4 times. Why did he do this to you, you let him.
NoIDidn't Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Yet, you were willing to meet him 4 times. Why did he do this to you, you let him. Its too easy to condemn her for this. I do see your point. But long ago, I did something very similar for the attentions of a guy I didn't know had a long term girlfriend (only found out about her after we broke up). Some of us need to do something a couple of times before what we realize what we are doing. I know I did. It was about four booty calls for me too before I realized that what *we* had was not a R. It didn't even rank up there with a fling. But I love the fact that she put it in prose. I can't get over that. "Great art comes from great pain" - The Five Heartbeats
White Flower Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Mellie, how old are you and MM? It always helps me to know before posting. He did this to you because you were a willing partner. He told you he loved you because he either 1) loved you and wanted to experience all of you even if it meant breaking his vows or, 2) just wanted you in the sack and thought lying to you about being in love would help accomplish that task. I'm sorry you're hurting. Don't allow another MM in your life again. I know I won't.
Adunaphel Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 This man is scum. I feel for you - I have been in a slightly similar situation once and reading your post brought back a few unpleasant memories. I hope you'll heal very soon. It might take you some time to heal, but trust me, you'll eventually be over it and you'll realize that you are lucky you are not the one married to him. Just keep in mind that the reason why he treated you this way has not much to do with you personally. He did not treat this way because you are not good enough for him, or because you "deserved" it - he treated you this way because he is an *******. When you'll be over this, make sure to make good use of this experience, as now you know how you should never allow a man to treat you. Ever again. Stay strong. You *will* feel better in time.
GPFan Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 In room 1005 MM told me lies and hurt me nothing was real,I just don't understand why he did this to me.He most likely feels that he has done nothing to you but that you were looking for the same as him and that is why you participated. He is may well be patting himself on the back for being a great guy and stud.
OpenBook Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 He's a coward, a liar, and a cheat. THAT'S why! He's a sad, sad waste of space loser, thats why! This man is scum. Amen to all of the above. He is the worst kind of male out there. And the fact that he's married makes it even worse. He saw your vulnerability and naivete and innocence, and he took full advantage of it. He moved in for the kill, got what he wanted, and then left you for dead. They should have classes for young girls on how to spot this kind of man and deflect him before he does any damage!! I doubt this will make you feel better (it didn't comfort me when I had mine... and it didn't help my daughter either, when she first encountered hers) -- but FWIW, most of us females have had to deal with at least one Mr. Monster in our lives. Some of us have handled it better than others. The important thing is, you ARE going to start feeling better soon. And you ARE going to get back up. Just give yourself some time.
Author Mellie Posted September 27, 2008 Author Posted September 27, 2008 WF, I am 29 and he is 30 I have known him for 6 years we are co-workers. Sometimes I wake up and tell myself I got what I deserved I was asking for it, after all I am the one who approached him I knew he was M,but I had heard he was unhappily M,I was also unhappily M going through a seperation. We were in a flirty relationship over a year ago,then that stopped we did'nt talk anymore then we started up again taking it into a full blown physical affair.
OpenBook Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 WF, I am 29 and he is 30 I have known him for 6 years we are co-workers. Sometimes I wake up and tell myself I got what I deserved I was asking for it, after all I am the one who approached him I knew he was M,but I had heard he was unhappily M,I was also unhappily M going through a seperation. We were in a flirty relationship over a year ago,then that stopped we did'nt talk anymore then we started up again taking it into a full blown physical affair. Oh. So you WEREN'T completely innocent.
Author Mellie Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 No I was not innocent,no one is innocent when entering a A mm/ow or mw/om. It's a long story,but I did think I feel in love with MM,I knew that I had feelings for him I knew it was wrong for me to feel this way for another man nothing physical ever happen between mm and I we just did a little flirting. I was tired of living a lie with my H,I knew I was no longer in love with my H anymore so I told him we needed to seperate, few months later MM and I started up our A . I guess I was being selfesh I knew MM was still with his W I told him over and over we needed to do it the right way and I will be here when he leaves his W. He started to tell me things like well I can't take you serious until you give yourself to me completely,how can I trust you if you won't let me have you,if I can't have you all the way then why have you at all,he said if I loved him I would sleep with him. I gave in,which makes things even worse for me,I'm not the type of woman who does things like this,that is I though I was'nt You know whats crazy I still have feelings for him,and I hate him for doing this to me,and I am angry at myself for allowing him to do it to me.
whichwayisup Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 But you allowed him to do this to you too. Yes he was scum and took advantage, but you totally put yourself IN that situation. It sucks I'm sure, but stand up and own your part in it. Forgive yourself, let the anger out and then move on. Don't go for revenge, don't do anything. The best revenge is healing yourself and living life again! And, maybe grant your husband a divorce so he can get on with his life as well. You say you're separated..Take it a step further and divorce.
jj33 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Mellie you got taken in by a creep. People dont leave for other people. They leave for themselves. There are no guarantees that if someone leaves the A will work as a real relationship, sometimes it does but often it doesnt. So he was being a creep. The first thing you have to do is forgive yourself. You fell for the wrong guy. Its hard to accept that you made a mistake that has caused you so much pain. But once you do, and you see him for what he really is, it will get better. What you are missing is the feeling that you have a connection with this man that you think is a wonderful person. Hes not. A wonderful person doesnt behave that way. I am sorry you are hurting.
Author Mellie Posted September 28, 2008 Author Posted September 28, 2008 I want a D my H to my surprise does not want a D he wants to go to MC to work on our M. I am not in love with my H anymore,I love him as a friend I wish him the best,but I can no longer love him as a H,he knows this I have talked to him about it,but he insist on going to MC. Now that I think about it MM also told me to go to MC with my H.
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