elkgrove Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 I have a similar situation were my w & coworker have had an affair. They know about it but have done nothing. He has had other affairs & had sexual harassment charges brought against him. I caught him & my wife @ my other house. She was on family medical leave @ the time & he was on the company clock @ the moment... I have been reluctant to bring it up w/ HR as I don't want repercussions as I work @ the same company..
Dark-N-Romantic Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Go for it... All's fair. But, now just make sure your wife is paying for her wrong doings as well. Remember, it takes two to tango. DNR
pelicanpreacher Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Yep, you're in a tough spot. Not only did your wife sh#t where she ate by having an affair at the workplace but she also took a dump on your plate since you work there too! I don't think you have much choice but to bite the bullet on this one and move on as I think the OM knows your predicament...hence the snide phone call just to make sure you knew it was him that had your wife. Bish hit this one right on the head!
elkgrove Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 Perhaps... but if hes as bad as he sounds, then HR is remiss for not putting him back in his box... companies often ignore these things, its just so "messy". Its seems like more than a coincidence that both women he had affairs with have left the company. While he is likely grooming the next one for her unemployment check... lol............ Yep They often times talk about how it is frowned upon but when it pops it's ugly head they do nothing. They look the other way & pretend they neither see nor hear any evil.......... It is only when it becomes more of a problem that they feel pressed to act. Hey if the preditor is part of that in group etc he probably has little to worry about............
pelicanpreacher Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 You still have the option of finding another job yourself and then proceeding with the sexual harrassment lawsuit with full vigor. This is an action you should seriously consider for not only will it make you whole again but it forces your company to protect its own interests by putting OM's butt on the street without a good job recommendation. Imagine him scrambling to find another job in this economy trying to explain why he left his former employment if he is publicly named in a sexual harrassment lawsuit!
InLimbo2 Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 oh please! Sexual Harassment is a pattern of offensive conduct. The husband may find it offensive, but evidently the wife didn't. The guy may be a player and a pig, but he didn't rape her. He said the guy was not his wife's boss - so there's no 'power issue' there. If the guy was not banging the wife on company time, and/or company property - the company really has no interest in a private matter between 3 adults. The guy obviously is successful in getting women in bed - so? An employer is not responsible for nor cares about the off-duty behavior of it's employees in a mutually consensual affair (unless it's a job of which moral character is critical to the job). It's Jerry Springer drama that is none of their business or concern. If anything, if the husband calls HR he'll look like exactly what he is - a man who's pissed off his wife was fooling around and trying desperately to retaliate without having to get his hands dirty. And the whole drama thing might actually hurt his wife's ability to get another job if depending upon a reference from that company.
GreenX Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 Did you tell yet? Also, how'd you become aware that he did this with another lady?
Dexter Morgan Posted October 28, 2008 Posted October 28, 2008 oh please! Sexual Harassment is a pattern of offensive conduct. The husband may find it offensive, but evidently the wife didn't. My understanding is that this wasn't her boss. But if it was, it doesn't matter whether the wife consents to it or not. The company is risking a harrassment lawsuit if they don't fire a boss that screws his subordinates. It happened here. A boss was asked to resign, and would have been fired if he didn't, for sleeping with one of his subs. and it was purely consentual and they ended up getting married after he quit.
InLimbo2 Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I do believe it was stated earlier in the thread that it was NOT her boss. My understanding is that this wasn't her boss. But if it was, it doesn't matter whether the wife consents to it or not. The company is risking a harrassment lawsuit if they don't fire a boss that screws his subordinates. It happened here. A boss was asked to resign, and would have been fired if he didn't, for sleeping with one of his subs. and it was purely consentual and they ended up getting married after he quit.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 30, 2008 Posted October 30, 2008 I do believe it was stated earlier in the thread that it was NOT her boss. That is my understanding as well, but a superior none the less.
pelicanpreacher Posted October 31, 2008 Posted October 31, 2008 That's my thinking for most companies will, if push comes to shove, seek to protect their own interests if they feel that public scandal might hurt their bottom line.
elkgrove Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 Thnx all for the insight but I went ahead & did it anyway. I have been trying to get her to get/stay w/ therapy & she is planning on leaving this Saturday. Once she is gone she will not do anything for herself. I told him (his answering machine) the reason I wanted her staying here in our house was so she could continue to get some therapy. I told him she was dating the others & hanging out in the casinos which is the type of places she use to look for “johns”……. [FONT="]Que, sara, sara[/FONT]
You'reasian Posted November 5, 2008 Posted November 5, 2008 I have a similar situation were my w & coworker have had an affair. They know about it but have done nothing. He has had other affairs & had sexual harassment charges brought against him. I caught him & my wife @ my other house. She was on family medical leave @ the time & he was on the company clock @ the moment... I have been reluctant to bring it up w/ HR as I don't want repercussions as I work @ the same company.. Dude, that sucks. So you work at the same company as your wife and the OM? Have you considered filing for divorce, seeing your wife made a decision to allow another man in her life? If she said she was married, wore a ring, uses your last name and all the signs of marriage - I can't see why any man would want to go forward, still she let him. Do you know of any major occasions where they were seen together publicly - like at restaraunts, places of entertainment etc?
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