BackonTrack Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Hello, I had my first relationship at the age of 22. It was great at first, things were going good. A few months into the relationship my baby started to act weird. At first she would say weird things, like she was unsure if we were together. Then it would turn into things like "Why are you so nice to me" would look really troubled, like she was guilty of something, then would start to cry, i just kissed her and told her to go to sleep. During this time the relationship was rather bad, lots of arguments on her part, she wanted me to commit to her but didn't say it like that.... I never knew what was wrong with her, so I had a going away trip, I was to be gone for about 2 months, when I came back things were different. She would come around, told me we couldn't have sex because she wanted to get closer to get, I didn't look to much into it, but around 2-3 weeks after she told me this, we began having sex, she stop me. I told her she couldn't do things like this.. Anyway, I stayed in town for about 40 days. During the last 20 days or so, she started to stop coming around and when I would call her, she would sound confused and unsure if she wanted to see me, I was getting upset now. Anyway, I had to go away for about a month now, while I was away I had to beg her to call me and when she did, she sound as if she was sad. Anyway I come home and she was with me now for about 1.3 years so I decieded to do right by her. I bought an apt, was planning our future, she was still acting very distant. Wouldn't come over, I had to break up with her. She came runnin so I stripped her naked and asked if she was my baby. During this time, she was sort of comming back but not enough, I started looking into other options, I had sex with my back-up, first time in 1.3 years I cheated. Anyway, about a week after I move in, she is with me helping me file documents, and she was always complaing i never hang out with her friends so I decieded to make a change. I started hanging out with her friend, her bestfriend infact. I somehow manage to seperate the bestfriend and my ex and told the best friend, me and the ex were having problems, the best friend looked confused. The best friend told me my ex had moved on and was having sex with someone else. Ofcouse I grew engagegd, attempted to break up with my girlfriend but I loved her to much. Eventually she told me to **** off and did some things that really messed me up. Its almost like she was getting back at me for some precieved wrong. Eitherway she did a good job, because she messed me up for a long time. In the process, I did some really bizaree things, some things I wish I had not done. But now I've moved on, I'm single, had been for the past 7 months. The EX hasn't contacted me or tried to reach out at all, I find that hard to believe. I also find it hard to believe that she cheated on me as well. I find it even harder to believe that she actually left. But she did all those things, never would of expected it, but I have come to realize, I never knew who my ex was. I wonder why she bothered wasting my time. Its been about 7 months NC, hopefully in another 2 months I won't be thinking about her. Its taking me a while to get over this relationship, probably a full year before I stop thinking about her. Another few months and I can erase this female from my life memories. Its almost like this relationship was a blimb of what life could be like when you have someone. I don't remember it anymore.... Its almost like it never happen.
nowhereman82 Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Oh how we let these other people have so much space in our heads. It's sickening almost. Hope I don't do this to myself again. *salute*
Mike B. Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I understand, Backon track. It was hard to get a real good feel from your post of exactly how things went down. Personally, I am reluctant to forget a relationship no matter how bad it was. I can always appreciate a relationship for making me a better man and a better partner for my next relationship. It is hard to try to look at a relationship for the good it did for you when you are hurting but these experience makes us wiser. There is nothing like sharing your life with someone even if it does not turn out the way we hoped.
Author BackonTrack Posted September 27, 2008 Author Posted September 27, 2008 Ah, this whole thing was over-rated. I made such a big deal about it but now I'm like whatever. I don't know what happen, who cares its the past. It seems so TRIVIAL NOW, oh my god it seems so 100% non important. My When she told me off and said we had no future oh boy did that mess me up big time. I don't think the cheating hurt me, but the fact she choose someone else OVER ME, oh now that hurts big time. It doesn't even seem important now, I don't think she really meant anything to me. At the time though, things were a different story, I thought we had something we did not. Got to chalk this one up to learning experience.
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