Question for everyone who may know someone that has been in this similar situation??

[hollysprings]

I met a wonderful guy awhile back and falling for him was the last thing I had expected to happen. Unfortunately, it has and now I can't get myself out. I have developed strong feelings for this person and my feelings grow deeper as I get to know him better and realize how good of a guy he is. We texted each other each day and saw each other on weekends. He confessed to me that he was attracted to me and also has developed feelings for me.

 

One night I was over at his place and we were talking and having a long conversation. I made the mistake of telling him that my ex was not exactly your average good guy. He became scared that if we took the relationship any further, his life would be at risk if my ex wanted to get back with me. He texted me the next morning and ended things off completely. He didn't want to go any further and said things seem to be getting too serious between us.

 

He texted a number of reasons. He said the last 3 serious relationships he was in, he got cheated on. The other main reason was of who my ex was and because of that, he cannot see a future between us and nothing will come out of our relationship. He told me that things were getting too serious, moving too fast between us, we took things too far and that he was confused and did not know what he wants to happen. He said he wants to be with me but a part of him does not want to be with me.

 

Since that day, my life has not been the same again. I cannot remember the last time I felt for someone this way.

 

3 months has gone by and I am still unable to forget him nor move on. He is constantly in my thoughts, I am not sure if I will be able to ever forget him. He's the first person I think of when I wake up and no matter what I am doing, he's always on my mind.

 

I noticed he has developed a pattern of only calling me on weekends, he would ask me if I want to see him and I say yes about 3 of out 4 times mainly because I miss him and want to see him. But when we do see each other, we would only have sex and afterwards, I do not hear from him again until the following weekend or three weekends later. Each time I see him, things get worse for me and I go back to the way I felt when he first ended things. I can't forget him but is uncertain if I want to continue with this type of sexual relationship with him because it makes me attach to him more emotionally.

 

I feel like I am in no position to ask about his feelings because it doesn't seem like he feels anything for me anymore (or he hides it well). However, I get the sense that he still has feelings for me but doesn't want to go forward with them because he's still in his "don't know what he wants state".

 

I have not told him how I feel about him and he has absolutely no clue that I still feel that way. I told him that since he's moved on with his feelings I have done the same. So he thinks we purely meet each other for booty calls.

 

I know he doesn't have a girlfriend because he broke up with his last girlfriend 4 months ago. The way he talks about her sounds like he still cares a great deal for her but knows they can't get back together because she cheated on him. They have each other's names tattooed on their bodies and it was a serious 3 year relationship they were in.

 

Tomorrow is Friday and he is most likely to call at night.

 

I don't know what to do with this guy. Is there still a glimmer of hope with him? What should I do? Confess to him on how I feel tomorrow night if I do meet him?

 

Feeling confused and hopeless.

[Geishawhelk]

Boy, you're in a mess.

 

Bottom line?

He sounds like a user who's also a wimp.

 

Dump him, no contact, tell him to take a hike and find a man, not a jerk.