borelandkaren Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Well, it's been 6 months since I broke up my relationship and I thought I'd never get over him (weirdo or not!) but I did and have moved on with a vengeance! I had a coffee date last week that made me feel great and also made me realise how much I LOVE being single. I went to my parents place for the w/end. On the way, I picked up one of my parents friends', spent a bit of time with her (and truly learned the value of her. She is a gorgeous woman), then we went and picked up my older brother. Well, what a journey! We laughed for 2 hours, the 3 of us. I had a ball. The w/end was great. I have picked up the shattered pieces of my life, glued them back 2gether and got on with it. Without he who I thought I didn't want to live without. Forget it. If you chose not to be with someone, move on. If they chose not to be with u, do the same. Spend some single time in your life. It's fantastic and I can't see myself getting involved with anyone else for a very long time. I love that I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. The only restrictions in my life are those that I place on myself. YOU CAN DO IT TOO. Try it. U just may like it.
Federica Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 I've actually pinned this thread, because I think it's the most wonderfully positive thing I've seen on here for ages! Please one and all, feel free to add, but make it positive, if only to show those who come here desperate, wounded and forlorn, that Hope Springs Eternal, and there is Joy in Life, after the break !
ahhhchooo Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 I remember my life before my ex and what a great lot of fun it was to be single then, too - I hardly even had any dates! I want to make it back to where you are now... congrats
Nemo Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 I love that I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. The only restrictions in my life Great stuff, KGB. Very pleased to hear that you are smelling the roses - if, in actual fact, they do grow down under. But don't overcompensate by labelling all relationships as "restrictive." The whole can be a lot more than the sum of its parts. As you go through life with a smile, think about keeping your heart open. Compromise isn't a dirty word, and it doesn't have to cramp your style. Congratulations on having your thread pinned. That's actually a dream of mine.
Lishy Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Well Karen I am chuffed for you! Single life is not that bad, in fact it is better than that, it can be GREAT! It is great to be in a great relationship but awful to be in a bad one! I have just got out of a detructive relationship and even though I get meloncholy (SP) at times, my life is stress free and I can do as I please, when I please! Good for you girlie!
Nevermind Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 I've been out and about too! No thoughts spend on ex or hurting, really. Life holds many problems but also many wonderful experiences! Let's not forget that!
RogueAC Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 I too love being single! I don’t have children so for me there is so much freedom. I get to make all the decisions for my time—I can stay out late, stay in, visit my friends and my family, work out, work late, take a class, flirt, watch movies, etc., etc., etc., every time that I want. I also find that am more open to new opportunities like meeting people and trying things.
EmperorR Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 It felt good today, usually every friday was "our day" together. It was weird after work today, i just walked for like 45 minutes because i felt like it, went to the store to the mall because I felt like it, now im home just relaxing because I feel like it. Doesn't feel that bad having the freedom to do and feel what i want.
Lizzie60 Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 Well, it's been 6 months since I broke up my relationship and I thought I'd never get over him (weirdo or not!) but I did and have moved on with a vengeance! I had a coffee date last week that made me feel great and also made me realise how much I LOVE being single. I went to my parents place for the w/end. On the way, I picked up one of my parents friends', spent a bit of time with her (and truly learned the value of her. She is a gorgeous woman), then we went and picked up my older brother. Well, what a journey! We laughed for 2 hours, the 3 of us. I had a ball. The w/end was great. I have picked up the shattered pieces of my life, glued them back 2gether and got on with it. Without he who I thought I didn't want to live without. Forget it. If you chose not to be with someone, move on. If they chose not to be with u, do the same. Spend some single time in your life. It's fantastic and I can't see myself getting involved with anyone else for a very long time. I love that I can do what I want, when I want, with whom I want. The only restrictions in my life are those that I place on myself. YOU CAN DO IT TOO. Try it. U just may like it. I've been saying that for a looong time.. but never got 'pinned' for it.. I love to be single.. I love the freedom.. I just can't see myself with anyone.. I'm just too selfish.. It's all about me now.. and I'm loving it..
nowhereman82 Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 First off and most importantly...Lizzie I love that top It would drive me crazy on a date. Second off....congrats on getting pinned...when I first saw it I was shocked as I see a very scuttle hand by moderators here and I am actually glad they pinned something positive in 'coping' for people down and out to read on. Sometimes people just need a positive message. Personally I see everything you have shared and have realized....but boy is it hard to get out of codependent/relationship mode. Think my hardest road to 'recovery' is finding other singles with similar interests as mine to be friends with. To enjoy the single life. But time will tell and you can only keep moving forward
motive2002 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 It happens for all of us. We move on eventually. It does get better, and after a while, you wonder what you ever saw in the person that "shattered your heart". You soon discover that maybe the grass was greener on the single side. Hobbies and interests come back to you that were neglected before. All of the sudden you find yourself feeling.. individual. Your own person that has your own thing going on. I'm done shaping myself into something to fit someone else. I get to be me, warts and all and I already have friends and family that accept me for exactly who I am. That's more than I could ever ask for and I am truly grateful for it.
Trialbyfire Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Hey borelandkaren, it's nice to see people turn their lives around and realize that an ex isn't life. YOU make your life as you want it to be.
LikeCharlotte Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 The only restrictions in my life are those that I place on myself. I think you have achieved enlightenment borelandkaren. If this is newfound strenth or if it is rediscovered - don't forget it.
audrey_1 Posted October 2, 2008 Posted October 2, 2008 Good to see a reminder that single life does have its perks! Freedom to heal and grow is definitely a good thing. I was starting to get a little down with most of today's posts dealing with NC.
Billie63 Posted October 8, 2008 Posted October 8, 2008 I do try to be positive and love life. Today I was thinking one of the nice things about being single, is not listening to my boyfriend eating - he had breathing problems due to a broken nose and my God he could make some noise when he was chomping away - used to drive me crazy.
seamaid Posted October 18, 2008 Posted October 18, 2008 I'm at the 6 month mark, post-breakup, too! I was devastated by it then, but it was meant to be... because now I'm gearing up for trips to three places he would have hated (SF, S. America, and NYC)! It's wonderful to have the freedom to take risks again. It's exhilarating to be able to do what I want. Feels like I'm growing again. It's definitely not the end of the world, but the beginning of a new one.
SelfCentered Posted November 9, 2008 Posted November 9, 2008 Hey, I like the tone of this thread and I'd like to contribute if I may. There's this club near my University. There has always been something special about it. In our first year, I was there every week without fail. Me and about 6 other guys loved it there, it was "our" place. It plays some great rock music (how many places do that these days?), charged about £2 entry and a pint was so cheap you could have a great night on a £10. Anyway, during my 13th month relationship with the 'ex', I rarely went there. I needed to save money to see her. If I did go there, it'd be with her. It'd still be fun but it took the freedom and excitment out of the place a bit. Last Monday I went there as a single man. I went with my friends and I had a terrific time. I danced all night, got very drunk, had a great walk home and stayed up til 5am watching Scrubs. Next morning I felt so good! I felt like I used to before the ex, before all the drama. In short, I was really loving life again, for the first time since I got dumped. I'll be back there this week. And the next. I feel like I've got something back in my life that she took from me. Can't wait to go back!
LittleDove Posted November 21, 2008 Posted November 21, 2008 Trust me - a week on LoveShack can be a LONG time. How true. Ive been a member for about 2 weeks... In that time, I had a break in NC saw him for the first time in 6 months, felt dreadful, almost got knocked off my rails by him... I WISH id found LS back when I left...those months of crying alone, would have been easier... Im okay, and I can say it was just a little stumble on my part. I am over my x, I am not thinking of him, this last drama has made me see the light. There have been a few voices of reason who really helped me see the situation clearly...and realise my self worth. I love the way members picked apart my posts, and made me sit back and take it all in. Really think about my words. Anyway, it has been 6 months. These past two weeks I liken to a fish dying, that thrashes about on land, gasping for air, and fighting the certain fate...that was my relationship...the fish, and its dead, with no head, in a bucket. ALSO ...these voices on LS made me stop and think about my booty call, and what he really meant to me...now we are exclusive!! So today I sit and type, im not sad thinking of the past, I am happy to let go, and enjoy my new relationship, and the good times that lay ahead. Not that im in a hurry to settle, im loving being my own person, eating what I like, on my own time schedule, free to be ME again. Ls helped me get to this place a bit quicker than I might have alone Carpe diem!!!
4by4 Posted November 27, 2008 Posted November 27, 2008 The wonderful spirit of this thread is irresistible. I completely agree there is so much to enjoy whilst been single. I am only in my 2nd week post breakup from my ex, I had no idea it would take me such a short period of time to get to where I am. The first few days I woke up with the sickest feeling in my stomach, she was the other half of me for 4 years. Yet I came to LS and joined in the discussion, sharing my pain initially but gradually gained the strength from others to eventually decide I deserve better and started NC. Since breaking up, I had the courage to tell my ex I no longer wanted anything to do with her. I gave back all her stuff left at my place including thousand dollar jewelery and vintage dress I had bought for her. I even canceled a holiday with her because I figured she could have all the materialistic things, it wouldn't make me any happier, I was content on been single and free from the person who no longer loved me. I have taken up cycling and Spanish classes in the last week. I try keep myself busy all the time by hanging out with friends and family, my next 4 weeks are completely booked out! I am having the time of my life and enjoying the freedom! I can flirt with girls at parties, wonder about the possibilities in life without any restrictions or compromise. I've even made longer term plans, will be going to inspections this weekend to buy a condo for myself, I also booked in an overseas trip I always wanted to take with mates. I love been around people who love me and enjoy what I have to offer. Life is indeed too short to dwell on the unpleasantness. Sure, I may still encounter a down day some time in the future but I don't feel the need to see her, hear from her anymore. I know I'm happy with the person I am, I know I'm loved by those who matter to me the most, I feel fantastic! I still believe in love and that the right girl will reveal herself someday, I just need to be ready for her in order to give her the world.
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