Hoosier09 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Hello My LDR and I talk a lot with webcams on MSN. We talk for several hours a day and I love coming home and hopping online to talk to her. Recently though, I've had a little problem. She is always watching TV when I get on to talk to her. And I know it's weird, but I feel kinda jealous. It takes her forever to respond when she's watching tv and it's like I have to keep the conversation going. I'm writing this right now and she hasn't even realized I'm not talking to her. It's the same when she's surfing the net. It takes her forever to respond and I just feel jealous in a way...I dunno...you get what I mean? But when she's not doing either we have such great conversations and we have so much fun. It's not that she doesn't love me...I know that she does very much..but this thing is getting annoying. What should I do? I'm afraid to tell her because she'll get mad or think I'm being selfish or something. Thanks
Geishawhelk Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 disconnect. If she reconnects and asks you where the heck you went, I think you'd be within your 'rights' to say you couldn't compete with the TV, and would it be too much to ask to have her complete attention when you're trying to talk to her? I mean, start as you mean to go on, Bro'!
konfuzd Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 If you want her undivided attention, pick up the phone.
Author Hoosier09 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 It's not as easy as just saying it. I don't want her to get mad. And we do talk on the phone but we can't all the time. It's expensive and there's usually family around so we have to wait until there's a quiet time for us to call.
konfuzd Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 For some people, talking several hours a day is a bit of an overload. Maybe she feels you're talking too much and running out of things to talk about. Maybe she wants to have a life outside of your relationship. How old are you? How long have you been a couple? Is there an end to the LDR in sight? If you feel you have a ligitimate concern, why are you afraid to talk to her?
Author Hoosier09 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 It's not an overload, I'm sure of that. We miss each other way too much and she always wants to talk. It's been about 3 months and yes there is an end in sight. We're not bored..we always have so much to talk about..and that's why we're together. Also, she does have a life outside of our relationship..that's not the problem either. I'm 18 by the way. She lives in England and I'm in America. It just seems she doesn't realize it's distracting her. I'm just afraid to talk to her because she'll get upset or something or I'm scared she'll think I'm controlling. But I never watch tv or surf the web when I talk to her. I just sit here. Should I turn on the tv and ignore her?? I'm not a fan of games but I wonder if she'd get the point. I want to stress the point that our relationship is VERY strong. We're a very close couple. I don't know how to explain it..I don't think she's meaning to do it, but when I'm trying to talk seriously, she's laughing at something on the tv and I'm just like omg you don't care. Which I know she does but it's annoying
tanbark813 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I don't know how to explain it..I don't think she's meaning to do it, but when I'm trying to talk seriously, she's laughing at something on the tv and I'm just like omg you don't care. Which I know she does but it's annoying When she does that just tell her that it looks like she's busy and you'll let her go until you two can talk when she's less distracted. I don't think your jealousy (or whatever you want to call it) it irrational. I know I have better things to do than talk to someone who's not giving me their full attention.
strongertoday Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I agree with Tanbark......my guy does this at times too (with surfing not TV) I just do the "seems your busy or disappeared again you duffer!! I will go do something, back in 10" when I get back it is usually to a "thought you were busy anyway" and I go "no I was sitting here waiting for you" He doesnt realise he has forgotten me for 10 minutes, I bet your girlfriend doesnt either....they are probably just BAD multi-taskers !!! HUGS
crimsonrose Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 Hello My LDR and I talk a lot with webcams on MSN. We talk for several hours a day and I love coming home and hopping online to talk to her. Recently though, I've had a little problem. She is always watching TV when I get on to talk to her. And I know it's weird, but I feel kinda jealous. It takes her forever to respond when she's watching tv and it's like I have to keep the conversation going. I'm writing this right now and she hasn't even realized I'm not talking to her. It's the same when she's surfing the net. It takes her forever to respond and I just feel jealous in a way...I dunno...you get what I mean? But when she's not doing either we have such great conversations and we have so much fun. It's not that she doesn't love me...I know that she does very much..but this thing is getting annoying. What should I do? I'm afraid to tell her because she'll get mad or think I'm being selfish or something. Thanks My fiance's like a gaming nerd, even though he and his brother and cousins are all buff and get hit on constantly XD Deep down their chibi nerds. Anywho, I know what you mean. Before I left for this last visit, he wouldn't quit playing games! It embarrassed me cuz I felt like I was obsessed with him or something if he could sit there and play computer games and take 20 minutes at a time to respond to me, and I was sitting on the other side of the webcam hanging onto his every word. Anywho, it's normal to get jealous. She probably doesn't realize she's doing it or that it hurts. I've tried watching t.v. and ignoring my fiance for a few minutes at a time, and he got really upset XD So he couldn't possibly have known before then how nervewracking it is to have your lover take forever to reposnd because theyre caught up in electronics. Just tell her she's beautiful and you miss her, and want to talk to her while she talks back to you instead of watching t.v. Just be gentle about it because people are so much more emotional in ldr's, and itll be fine
crimsonrose Posted September 29, 2008 Posted September 29, 2008 It's not an overload, I'm sure of that. We miss each other way too much and she always wants to talk. It's been about 3 months and yes there is an end in sight. We're not bored..we always have so much to talk about..and that's why we're together. Also, she does have a life outside of our relationship..that's not the problem either. I'm 18 by the way. She lives in England and I'm in America. It just seems she doesn't realize it's distracting her. I'm just afraid to talk to her because she'll get upset or something or I'm scared she'll think I'm controlling. But I never watch tv or surf the web when I talk to her. I just sit here. Should I turn on the tv and ignore her?? I'm not a fan of games but I wonder if she'd get the point. I want to stress the point that our relationship is VERY strong. We're a very close couple. I don't know how to explain it..I don't think she's meaning to do it, but when I'm trying to talk seriously, she's laughing at something on the tv and I'm just like omg you don't care. Which I know she does but it's annoying And again, I get that too. My fiance's 22, but sometimes his 21 year old brother comes into his bedroom and starts telling him about something funny he jsut saw on t.v., and my fiance will talk to him all animately for 20 minutes and then get back to me and see im kinda sad and have no clue why XD and im like you. I bloody him my fiance. I surf the net RARELY when we're webcamming together (which is every night for a few hours). So how on earth he can sit there and zone out for half hours at a time while I'm waiting for him, I haven't a clue. lol
Author Hoosier09 Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 That sounds like my problem crimson. In fact, she's doing it right now..and did it last night. The other day i decided to watch tv too and i think she got upset so I don't want to do that anymore. I never do anything but sit and wait for her too so it's hard. I think i'll just tell her soon if it keeps up because I'm wasting my time.
crimsonrose Posted September 30, 2008 Posted September 30, 2008 That sounds like my problem crimson. In fact, she's doing it right now..and did it last night. The other day i decided to watch tv too and i think she got upset so I don't want to do that anymore. I never do anything but sit and wait for her too so it's hard. I think i'll just tell her soon if it keeps up because I'm wasting my time. haha you need to tell her now silly. otherwise you really ARE just wasting time. if she loves ya shell listen. also, it could be that it hurts her so much to be parted from you she'd rather absorb herself in television than face the fact that youre not there with her.
Author Hoosier09 Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Lol...just got home. Me- "Hey honey how are you?" Her- "Good..i'm watching a movie." Another great afternoon ahead of me...when I have hw I could do. I want to tell her but i really don't know what to say. I guess its just up to me now. Thanks for your input.
HisLove Posted October 4, 2008 Posted October 4, 2008 I think you can tell her without being rude. Something like:- Let me know when you're free to chat, I can't sit here while you watch a movie, I have an assignment that needs to be handed in. Love ya. xxx
Author Hoosier09 Posted October 8, 2008 Author Posted October 8, 2008 Hey, Thanks for your help everyone. I told her. It was hard but I did and she realized what she was doing. It made her feel really bad at first but I assured her it was ok and everything has been going well since. Thanks so much.
john06 Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Great to hear that. I hope things goes smooth with your relationship. It would be better if she sees a TV than seeing someone.
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