malibustacydoll Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 If you know for sure two people you are working with are having an affair, should you say something? I know it may be none of your business but staying out of office gossip is hard. It is especially hard when you're the only one know knows it and you want to share it and see what others think. Does it make a difference if you know the two people who are involved are both married? I know it is a fine line, but I really want to say something to someone but I normally like to stay out of gossip and not get involved. This time it isn't gossip though and I am the only one who knows. *sigh*
JamesM Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Stay out of it...ESPECIALLY if you are the only one who knows. It can only blow up in your face.
2sunny Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 stay out of it. do not even listen if they try to tell you more details. NOTHING good comes from being involved with gossip.
2sure Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Normally it is always always always a good idea to mind your own business. These people have decided that the risk is worth it, and are prime targets for just this kind of thing. Since they decided the risk was worth it, tell who you want - it must be okay with them! BUT - it is never a good idea to put YOURSELF in such a position at work where you should only be seen as professional. Since you are the only one so far who knows - yo may at some point be asked to "help" them...DON'T.
Author malibustacydoll Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 I am only a student now and I will be graduating soon and no longer at this job. I am thinking of telling my current boss who I am very close with just because it bothers me that it is happening and at work. I walked in on it and it was a rather awkward moment-- one of the ones you cannot get out of your head. It really wouldn't bother me so much if they weren't married. I would say good for them by trying to find some excitement at work. However, now I feel really sorry for their spouses. Regardless of what they did, they don't deserve to be cheated. I know it is none of my business. However, if your spouse were cheating on you with a co-worker and someone else at their job knew, wouldn't you want to be informed?
Al_Bundy Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I'd probably be inclined to send one or both the betrayed parties an anonymous letter. Even though it is anon, it will get them thinking. I don't like it when 2 people are being unknowingly betrayed. If its 2 people I don't know, then I'd leave it alone.
officegirl Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 wait. first you said it bothered you because they were doing it at work. then you said that if they weren't married, you would give them kudos for finding excitement at work. Best to stay out of other people's business. You never know how your life will turn out or what mistakes you will make along the way. Reserve judgment for yourself and yourself only, not other people. If you see someone get murdered or raped on company time, by all means tell your boss.
manugeorge Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Better yet, go home and gossip about it to your friends who don't work in your office and don't know any of the parties involved. Don't mess with being professional at work, even if you only have a short term at that job. Things do find a way of coming back to bite you in the you know what. My boyfriend gets a earful about my co-workers, the poor thing:D
lkjh Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Manugeorge, they are not professionals if they are doing it at work. I would feel horrible if one of the SO caught an STD from this and I could have prevented it.
lkjh Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 wait. first you said it bothered you because they were doing it at work. then you said that if they weren't married, you would give them kudos for finding excitement at work. Best to stay out of other people's business. You never know how your life will turn out or what mistakes you will make along the way. Reserve judgment for yourself and yourself only, not other people. If you see someone get murdered or raped on company time, by all means tell your boss. People only get away with bad things because others keep silent.
officegirl Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 People only get away with bad things because others keep silent. How about the people who get away with it because no one ever finds out. Hey, it's cool if a few of you on here believe that what these two people are doing is yours or the OP's business. Everyone has different perspectives. I urge you however, to make certain to remember your beliefs on this subject when someone else makes your life, their business. If you can handle that, then I applaud you for practicing what you preach. My point to the OP is to be careful of judgement. Everyone will be judged for something in their lives that was as a result of selfishness or bad judgement on their part.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 It is none of your business. You know nothing of their personal lives. Maybe they are both in open marriages. Probably not, but you don't know their situations. I also find it hard to believe you are the only one who knows. How can you be sure nobody else has noticed any subtleties between these two? If there are any older and more relationship-experienced coworkers who have cheated or have been cheated on, you can bet they would pick up on some cues. This has happened in every office I've worked in. Rarely is there only one person who notices it, and the only one I can think of who would say anything would be their boss, and only if it is affecting their work performance, and I doubt the affair can be brought up as a reason for their work performance.
Author malibustacydoll Posted September 26, 2008 Author Posted September 26, 2008 Thanks everyone. I know I should stay out of it and I will. As far as other people knowing, I am almost certain I am the only one who knows. I think other people may have assumptions but I have the proof. I knew when I found out that I couldn't say anything. I pondered telling everyone the day I left exactly what I thought of the place. However, it really isn't that bad for me to make a scene that would be in a movie out of it. I again merely feel bad for their spouses. However, I do not know their situations so maybe they are separated or are cheaters as well. In any case, I am definitely staying out of it. I just wanted to see some other opinions. :-)
Krajt Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 If it was me, I'd report it. Nookie in the work place as sexual and satisfying as it seems is unprofessional and unprofessional behaviour deserves a slapped booty!
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 If it is affecting your job, or creating a hostile workplace for others then it needs to be reported. Otherwise, its your call.
BlueEyedGirl Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I would feel EXTREMLY uncomfortable to work at such an enviroment unless I'm the one having the affair. I don't want anybody getting hot sex if I am not. I would send an e-mail to the boss and CC it to their spouses.
Sup Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I am only a student now and I will be graduating soon and no longer at this job. I am thinking of telling my current boss who I am very close with just because it bothers me that it is happening and at work. I walked in on it and it was a rather awkward moment-- one of the ones you cannot get out of your head. It really wouldn't bother me so much if they weren't married. I would say good for them by trying to find some excitement at work. However, now I feel really sorry for their spouses. Regardless of what they did, they don't deserve to be cheated. I know it is none of my business. However, if your spouse were cheating on you with a co-worker and someone else at their job knew, wouldn't you want to be informed? Yes! Inform both of their spouses, but do it in a way that they don't have to see you, perhaps a pay phone? Just make sure their BS spouse picks up on it and not the cheater! The BS's have a right to know!
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