Shygirl15 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Okay, some of us already know how much I suck when meeting guys in RL which is why I rely heavily on online dating. I can be a bit shy; I pretty much don't look at people's faces, even when I'm interested in a person, I try as much to appear uninterested, infact I pretend to haven't seen them at all. FF to this afternoon. I go to an early lunch around 11:45am in our cafeteria. I eat my lunch, finish and as I was coming out of the cafeteria, I bump in this big, burly, hunk of a guy coming out of the elevators heading towards me. 100% my type. He looks directly into my eyes, and I was so struck by him so I looked back. So, we kept on looking at each other as we were walking towards one another. I blush. As he was about to pass by me, he says "oh, sorry I couldn't help it but stare at you. Please forgive me?":). I say, "oh no, it's okay. Perhaps I was staring too". "Oh, you were? That's nice". He continues to stand there looking at me. I continue to stand there looking at him. People are passing by, so it's beginning to get uncomfortable now. He's not saying anything, just smiling like dumb. Anyway, I then decide to walk away towards the elevators hoping he would run after me or just act out. He mumbles something which I couldn't hear. I look back, he's still standing staring at me. I wait for the elevator to come, he's still standing. I get into the elevator, he waves. End of story. He's an employee here, I saw his badge but it's likely I will never see him again for the next 10 years (12,000 employees here). I just want to know what I could have done better to let him know I was (kinda) interested. Being traditional, I was standing there waiting for him to say something or ask questions whatever. So what do people (or women) do in these types of situation in real life? Just something to help me in future encounters whenever they happen..
manugeorge Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I know how akward it is to have to intitiate talking to a guy, but sometimes you just have to say eff it and go for it. Not ask him out per se, but at least give him more of an opening. You could have easily said, "so who exactly am I staring at"? prompting him for his name. Then you go on to "do you work in the building"?, "which office"? etc etc. Before you know it, he would have collected his drool long enough to pick up the conversation from you.
tinad5 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 If you are truly interested in him and think he was interested in you, try to find a way to figure out where he works in your building. If there were that many initial sparks...and there seemed to be by what you're describing...he will be psyched you made the effort to find him.
Trimmer Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 ... or if all else fails, just remember to offer a handshake and state this one simple fact: "I'm Shygirl..." That will at least get you his name and give you a few more seconds to think of your next move, whether it's "I don't think I've seen you before..." or "Where do you work around here?" or "What's your major" or any of those conversation openers...
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 I know how akward it is to have to intitiate talking to a guy, but sometimes you just have to say eff it and go for it. Not ask him out per se, but at least give him more of an opening. You could have easily said, "so who exactly am I staring at"? prompting him for his name. Then you go on to "do you work in the building"?, "which office"? etc etc. Before you know it, he would have collected his drool long enough to pick up the conversation from you. Cool! I like all your lines!
JamesM Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Was he a plumber? If he felt the same attraction for you, then you WILL meet again. Be at the cafeteria at about the same time tomorrow. You may "accidentally" meet again.
quankanne Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 yeah, try to find him in common areas – cafeteria, office lounge (if he's any way related to your department), smoking areas, around-the-corner coffee shop, etc – by hanging around there. You're bound to meet up with him again. and when you see him, a simple "hi" or wave of the fingers to acknowledge him is always a good start. Because he sounds as smitten with you as you are with hiim, chances are, you'll be able to pursue this chance meeting into at least a first date. good luck!
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 Was he a plumber? If he felt the same attraction for you, then you WILL meet again. Be at the cafeteria at about the same time tomorrow. You may "accidentally" meet again. :laugh: I wouldn't care less if this one was a plumber! He is such a hottie. Oh, c'mon I'm not going to make myself bump into him.
JamesM Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 :laugh: I wouldn't care less if this one was a plumber! He is such a hottie. Oh, c'mon I'm not going to make myself bump into him. No, I am totally serious! Make yourself be there again. If he is attracted, he will be there, too! And next time if just smiles silly like, then ask him a question. Don't worry how stupid it sounds to you. It just might break the ice. It might be that sappy story you tell your children one day. This is not a bad thing. It does happen IRL not just in movies. BTW, do you know if this guy is married?
quankanne Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 honey, if he's eliciting this kind of response from you in just one single encounter, he's definitely worthy of attempting to bump into again. who knows? Maybe he's trying to figure out how to bump into YOU!
All Star Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I agree. Be in the caferteria same time tomorrow and this time say, "Oh, here you are again. What's your name? What dept do you work in?" And come back here and tell us what happened. You have to find this guy!
JamesM Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 We will be waiting for further developments. I feel like I am watching one of those emotional chick flicks. I need that tear jerker moment. Make it happen!
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 Okay, okay, okay..will do. Lol. That will be tomorrow, at exact 12 noon.
Balthazar Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 From what I have read there was instant chemistry between you and the guy. That being the case, he will probably be trying to track you down himself starting tomorrow. I know I would. So I don't really think you will have to do much of anything. He is probably shy himself, because you did give him enough to go on and he should have taken it a step further. But hey, mistakes happen! I think you'll be hearing from him soon... Just give him one of those smiles of yours;) CHeers,
Trimmer Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 BTW, do you know if this guy is married? Ha... One of the reflexes I lost in the 17-or-whatever years I was with my wife was checking for a wedding ring. After an embarrassing (at the time) but hilarious (now) experience - my first post-split attempt to ask someone out, without noticing the ring until too late - I have now rebuilt that reflex again, so it's almost automatic, just like it was when I was younger.
pretty professional Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 Men can find you attractive and react to your attractiveness without any intention of acting on it or even desiring it to be anymore than that moment. Look at it as an ego boost and move on.
Author Shygirl15 Posted September 29, 2008 Author Posted September 29, 2008 So, Shygirl, have you met him again? I wish. I was off last Friday so didn't get a chance, but perhaps I'll give it a try today even though I know chances are very slim.. Men can find you attractive and react to your attractiveness without any intention of acting on it or even desiring it to be anymore than that moment. Look at it as an ego boost and move on. Thanks, PP. It wouldn't hurt meeting him again though..lol
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