tinad5 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Looking for some advice on a current situation... Went on a date about a month ago with a guy that I really liked. We talked back and forth over the last month. He's been quite busy with a new job. Last Tuesday while we were chatting casually, he said he would like to see me and asked if I would go for drinks a couple nights later. He has also alluded to us hanging out in the future for other things like sporting events coming up. I agreed...though I was a bit hesitant since he bailed once before. I figured I would give a second chance. Come Thursday...don't hear from him. Decide to send a casual text in the early evening to ask if we are still on. Still don't hear from him. I send one more basically just saying that I need to know whether or not we are going out since I have to work early the next morning. I get a response 15 minutes later saying, "****! I totally forgot we made plans and I am working!!! Can I call you after work?" I basically replied that I was not too happy with him forgetting and sarcastically said that I needed "to make myself more memorable" since he could so easily "forget." Yeah, okay. Anyway, I get back a text saying, "Trust me you are quite memorable. My schedule is just insane. I get out at 11." Now this guy does work 12 hour days as a waiter but I cannot truly believe he forgot only 2 days after we made plans. I did reply that I was getting up at 6AM so we would not be seeing each other that night. I said he could find a time and a way to make it up to me at some point. I've not heard from him since. My question is this...what was the point of him asking me out if he was only going to blow me off? I know he's "just not that into me" enough to follow through but why go through this hassle of asking me out only to bail? It seems like so much time and effort for nothing. A good friend said he is "keeping me on his team" but that I've been "sidelined" for now...would most people agree with this or was he never into me at all? I have deleted him from my phone and have no intention of being in touch obviously. I have no clue if I will ever hear from him again or not and I know I cannot stress too much since he didn't even have the decency to remember our date!! Or so he said. Any advice if I should ever hear from him again? Should he be banished forever? I actually already know the answer to this but I am just looking to hear some insight on the whole scenario from indifferent sources. Thanks!
CarrieT Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I wouldn't banish him -- things like this happen and you have no idea what might have happened in those two days to get him to forget; maybe a family member had an emergency or a car accident. I think you are reacting pretty harshly without even giving him the benefit of the doubt to explain and make it up to you; especially since your first date was good and you did want to see him again!
Author tinad5 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 True, Carrie...but he blew me off once before because his car supposedly died. I just feel like he keeps feeding me lines to keep me hanging on...just in case he decides I am worthy of a 2nd date. Yes, something could have happened...but there is no excuse as to why I've not heard from him this past week at all.
JoeNewbie Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I personally would NEVER forget a date with someone I'm excited about. NEVER. Now, what you do next is up to you.
Author tinad5 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 I hear ya, Joe...I am the same way. Even if a family member died, I would have the decency to remember and call the person to cancel. I could never forget a date with someone I truly wanted to see. I do sense he is a flake and is overwhelmed by work but it's no excuse. He is also dating other people...I am as well...but I don't forget!
Author tinad5 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 One more question...sorry to be a bother... Does anyone actually believe that he truly forgot?
Kamille Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 The way I see it... It doesn't matter why he forgot. You did the right thing: you cut him loose. I know it was a frustrating experience, but since you are pretty clear on the fact that you don't want someone flaky in your life, you should pat yourself on the back for standing up for yourself and move on. He could have a million reasons why he did what he did. The bottomline remains: You want to be with someone who has the ability to show up.
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