DannyGL Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I cought my girl talking with her ex... which is cool. I dont have a problem with that. But She lied to me about it, after I told her to always be honest and not to lie. She didnt say nothing and neither did I after. It was her first day on a new job. She quickly got ready and I was about to take when I asked her if It was cool if I took a quick little shower. She said it was cool "we still have some time". When I got out of the shower She was in the other bathroom, I though she was doing her make up? I dunno. So I went into the living room and got on my computer, as I was waiting for her to come out. Then out of no where she comes out of the room blowing up saying "You know what Danny, never mind I'll find a ride somewhere else" and she walked out the door and started heading to her cusins house.... I chased her down for like 3 blocks trying to get her to stop so I can give her a ride to work... then she said "I told you I was ready before you got into the shower and you get on your computer"... I told her I saw you in the bathroom and I was waiting for you to come out. I kept on trying to get her to stop walking, but she wouldnt. She said "If you want you can pick me up from work" and I told her... who is gonna take you there, no one knows how to get there... just let me take you... come on stop... Then she said "you know, your just like any other guy too"... I grabed her by her arm to get her to stop and then she said "Danny im really starting to get mad" and at the point I said "fine" and turned around and walked back home. So this was on friday morning, now its wed night and I havent heard from her. I do know that she is at her ex boyfriend's house. But all her stuff is here at my apt and i havent heard from here. I was just wondering if I should just give up on her?
lofi_tokyo Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Did her exboyfriend dump her, or did she dump him? Also, how long ago did they date? How long of an interval was there between her dating him and then dating you?
Author DannyGL Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 She dump him.. from what I understand she used force on her so she left him. We kinda started seeing eachother before she broke up with him. That's why Im not surprised that she would see him again. I just asked her to be honest with me at all times. She old dated him for about 2 months, 3 tops. I dont think she really loves him, because one time she told me that there are things that she loves about him, but right after she said that we came on to me and we made out and had sex? I dont think im in love with her as of right now either, but I do miss her and I love her company... I know that I could fall for her. I just wanna know if she will come back?
lofi_tokyo Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 My experience in relationships is really limited, I'll be honest. But... in the last three weeks I've been reading a TON of threads on LS, and based on what I've read - the tried, tested and true solution is to just presume shes not coming back. My guess at what is going on here is this: She was in a ****ty relationship with her ex, she loved him, but he was not being the man she needed him to be. Then you came into her life and gave her a means to escape her relationship, she could leave him because she would have a new man to be with, she would not need to stand up on her own. It sounds like she dated you for a while, and when the honeymoon phase wore off she started having doubts, and rather than talking to you and maturely sorting out her feelings, she returned to her ex. He's familiar to her, and since she dumped him, I am guessing he is more than willing to take her back - makes him feel good about himself. So...to answer your question - will she come back? I think it is impossible to know for certain. Anything is possible. But ask yourself - do you really want a woman who will treat you like this? How much does she respect you if she has ran off to her ex? No one can fully answer your question, but here at LS the advice that is given is pretty solid: Go no contact, and start to be your own person. Learn from this relationship.
Author DannyGL Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 So i should just wait for her to call to pick her things up? She use to call me from his number at times. So I have his number. I was thinking of maybe texting him asking them when is she gonna come and pick up her things. Becuase all her clothes are here. everything or should I let her make that first move?
lofi_tokyo Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I think you should let her make the call for sure. She's going to want her stuff back no doubt, maybe when she calls arrange to have a mutual friend return her stuff? I think if you call to ask, it will just sound like you are reaching out to her for more than just knowing about her stuff. She left you and behaved terribly when she did it - she does not deserve your call. If she wants her stuff back, she can do the work. Again, I'm not the best at giving advice... but this is what I think would be best.
Author DannyGL Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 I'm starting to feel pist off. I feel like calling and teller her off LOL
Author DannyGL Posted September 27, 2008 Author Posted September 27, 2008 She called me just right now to tell me she wants to pick up her stuff... I told her "you know what that was really ****ed up on your part" and her reply was "Dude, Im not even gonna lie... I don't even care" So now Im like why should I care. Should just throw her **** out on the streets. What do you think?
Steelrain21 Posted September 28, 2008 Posted September 28, 2008 I think every responder here had some great things to say so far. She blew up at you because she was probably not happy and just too immature to talk about it. She seen her window of opportunity and took it. I honestly would not be that surprised if she tries coming back to you sometime. Things didn't work out with her ex before so they likely aren't going to this time. I say chances are that it ends badly and then all of a sudden you won't be looking to bad to her again. I really hope you will not fall for that though. If she comes back trying to say she wants to fix things it's probably because things got messed up with her ex again and she feels lonely. If she cared about you enough she wouldn't have done all this stuff in the first place. I believe in second chances, but they're very risky. I got stuck in a very miserable on and off relationship that way. As for throwing her clothes out.....I'd just try and be the better person and be mature about it. Even though she probably doesn't deserve that treatment right now haha.
Author DannyGL Posted September 30, 2008 Author Posted September 30, 2008 Okay. I'm over the whole being pist off part. All her things are still at my apt, it's been almost two weeks and today she called for the 2nd time asking about picking up her things. From her questions it seems to me that she wants to pick her things up while I am not home, but my roommate is. She doesnt seem to me upset, or anything. I think she is just kinda embarrassed and doesnt want to face me. Should I give her that... or should I force her to see me?
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