Tryng2Trust08 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 So the guy I have been dating for the past almost 5 months did not send me a card for my birthday, get me a present, or make plans(that I know of yet). Ok, he texted me first thing in the morning to say happy birthday which was realllly nice and he was out of town on business for my bday so we didnt have plans. But what am I suppose to think??? I mean, I thought he could at least make plans with me for the weekend if he couldnt see me on my actual bday, right???? I really dont want a present, but the gesture would be nice...hmm....is this odd?
ElTigreBlanco Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 A little odd. However some guys are just clueless or have had strange experience with girls. One girl that I dated wouldn't even accept the flowers or the card I got her for her birthday. I was crushed to say the least. Some people really don't see birthdays as very important. I would wait to make sure he doesn't have something up his sleeve and then tell him how you feel. Make sure to do it rationally though as to not come off as a psycho who is only interested in material things or what not. Being hurt is justified here though I think.
flc Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 He should have gotten you a card or flowers and taken you to dinner, I would. At 5 months I would probably not do anything more elaborate as it may be misinterpreted. But you have to be pretty clueless to think that a simple txt message shows you care for someone.
SarahRose Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 This sounds harsh but if he doesn't do something for you this weekend, dump him. No man who really cares about you will expect you to accept the crumbs of a birthday text message.
Krajt Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 What a jerk, or wait! Perhaps your post is premature and he has planned a surprised? My girlfriend is getting a treat on my credit for her birthday, a whole new outfit, complete with accessories and then a nice dinner somewhere fancy!
superd Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 you have to be real careful here, because being this just happened, if you say something about it and and he has already bought a gift but hasn't had the time to give it to you, you will come off as a psycho.
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 No, Im not saying anything whether he does something or not. Im not a materialistic girl at all, and I realy dont expect a gift. Im fine with a card and spending the evening together. If he doesnt make plans or make an effort to see me this weekend, Im seriously going to have to reevaluate this relationship. Im a busy girl, single mom, working, school, etc...I only have one night free this weekend without my kids and Im thinking he is going to dissapoint me by not making plans....sigh...maybe Im wrong, who knows.
serialgf Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Happy Birthday! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. Go with your gut.
Shygirl15 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Why don't you express that to him? He may have no idea you take things like birthdays seriously. Guys can be that clueless sometimes, it's amazing.
Krajt Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Yes, we guys can be clueless at times, lest not write him off just yet though.
soserious1 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I'd wait to see what happens this weekend, I will tell you though that you will NEVER be treated better than you are during the courtship/ early stages of dating. Guys who basically blow off your b/day or christmas turn into husband's who do the same. If things like your B/day are important to you,spell that out clearly,right from the start and if there's no follow thru, either end the relationship or accept that there will likely not be any birthday/christmas, valentine's day celebrations in the future with this person.
Federica Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 K., Please keep barbed comments relating to other topics, out of posts in an unrelated thread. In fact, desist from making barbed comments..... Thank you.
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 Why don't you express that to him? He may have no idea you take things like birthdays seriously. Guys can be that clueless sometimes, it's amazing. He made a comment I have been bitching too much and he cant do anything right with me.....so, I am laying low, he has to know that a simple bday card or taking me out would make me happy. I dont feel comfortable bringing it up. We havent seen each other for 2 weeks because I have had my kids and he has been on business trips, if he doesnt ask me to do something this weekend, this might be over. I know he has been stressed with work and Im just being understanding at this point.
Shygirl15 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 He made a comment I have been bitching too much and he cant do anything right with me.....so, I am laying low, he has to know that a simple bday card or taking me out would make me happy. I dont feel comfortable bringing it up. We havent seen each other for 2 weeks because I have had my kids and he has been on business trips, if he doesnt ask me to do something this weekend, this might be over. I know he has been stressed with work and Im just being understanding at this point. Yes, from your previous threads, I can see he's hard to keep up with. I wouldn't have taken it kindly either, if my SO treats my b-day very casually like that.
Krajt Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 K., Please keep barbed comments relating to other topics, out of posts in an unrelated thread. In fact, desist from making barbed comments..... Thank you. I didn't realise tongue-in-cheek and slapstick wasn't allowed, I humbly apologise, mam!
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 I must say he has been a lot better.....sent me a card when I was sick, bought me something for a class Im in, etc...he has been understanding and patient with me and I feel I owe him it...but this weekend may be my breaking point
IfWishesWereHorses Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Make sure the next time he visits that there is plenty of evidence of people who remembered your birthday. Put cards around, and heck buy yourself a houseplant and put one of those Happy Birthday stickies in it. If he mentions it, gush and say how great it was that so many people made the day special for you! It might be a little passive agressive but it should get the point across!
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 lol, i was thinking of buying some flowers and putting them in a vase saying someone bought them for me for my bday.......I did tell him all the nice things my friends & family did for me for my bday....
Shygirl15 Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 lol, i was thinking of buying some flowers and putting them in a vase saying someone bought them for me for my bday.......I did tell him all the nice things my friends & family did for me for my bday.... lol.. It would have been easier if his b-day came first; you could have spoiled him with suprises and gifts and perhaps by that, he would have picked it up on how you want to be treated on special days.
superd Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 I personally hate when people are unreliable. If they are unreliable once, the chances are that even if confronted, they will do it again. At least, that is what experience has taught me.
Author Tryng2Trust08 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 Yeah I honestly couldn't imagine not even sending a card to him. And the thing is he asked the week before to get the day right he wanted to make sure he knew the day. I mean, I see it this way....the day has already passed and the only thing he has done is sent me a text message saying happy bday. Many girls would be dissapointed or upset by this. I think at this point we should have plans this weekend at the least. Im biting my tongue I really don't want to say anything, maybe he is giving me a hint that he wants to be friends?? I just dont know??
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