CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 More from him via text: - It always starts as friends, then group outings, then hanging out and getting drinks, then s*cking d*ck and getting f*cked. - That's how it always begins. Exchange a couple msgs and then they f*ck you. - You're not having a page on those sites and that's that. Argument over. - I know it happens. People talk. I read. - Bottom line, those sites are off limits to you. Sounds more like a father or a freakin warden than a bf!!!!! Break up with him. That's my advice.
Author SurferGurl80 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 How old are the two of you? I just turned 28 and he'll be 28 next month.
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Is he on any meds.. or is he bipolar ?
audrey_1 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 More from him via text: - It always starts as friends, then group outings, then hanging out and getting drinks, then s*cking d*ck and getting f*cked. - That's how it always begins. Exchange a couple msgs and then they f*ck you. - You're not having a page on those sites and that's that. Argument over. - I know it happens. People talk. I read. - Bottom line, those sites are off limits to you. Sounds more like a father or a freakin warden than a bf!!!!! Wow. My dad wouldn't even talk to me that way. Seriously, this doesn't sound good. My ex-fiancee would not let it go, and even if I wasn't logged in but checking email, or playing chess, or any number of other things on the computer, he still thought I was doing something I shouldn't on the site and would chastise me about it. It became very difficult.
rod_in_gtown Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I just turned 28 and he'll be 28 next month. He's way to old to be acting like such a child. He needs to grow up and you need to find someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. Dump the chump.
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 What is the advice or feelings that your friends are getting on this ?
Lishy Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 OMG what a vile mouth he has! He is talking to you like he thinks you are a slag! Damn girl you only have once choice in my eyes ... Dump him! He will only get worse, wow imagine if you actually did something wrong!!
Author SurferGurl80 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 On point... What a trash mouth too.. he is speaking to someone he is supposed to love and care about.. show him the bottom line...that speaking to you like that is off limits.. He believes that by putting his foot down, he is keeping me safe, protected and HIS.
Lishy Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 He believes that by putting his foot down, he is keeping me safe, protected and HIS. He should buy a dog then, not treat YOU like one!
audrey_1 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 He believes that by putting his foot down, he is keeping me safe, protected and HIS. But you aren't his to own. What if you gave him this type of ultimatum concerning something he chose to be involved with? I'm guessing he wouldn't respond well. Does he ever compromise with things?
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Over and out. None of this is good. He's ordering you to stay off the site? It's not Match.com. It's Facebook. My dad's on Facebook. Controllling, angry, irrational. You are clearly seeing a side of him that you did not see before.
Author SurferGurl80 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 You are clearly seeing a side of him that you did not see before. That sums it up very well. He wants to meet me tonight to talk.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 More from him via text: - It always starts as friends, then group outings, then hanging out and getting drinks, then s*cking d*ck and getting f*cked. - That's how it always begins. Exchange a couple msgs and then they f*ck you. - You're not having a page on those sites and that's that. Argument over. - I know it happens. People talk. I read. - Bottom line, those sites are off limits to you. I cannot believe your boyfriend would talk to you like this. First of all, he seems to have a very bad view of women, and you are not exempt from that. Secondly, he's giving you ORDERS. Unreal. His problem has nothing to do with you, and you can't solve it. It's sad, because he is completely sabotaging his relationship. I would dump him.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 He wants to meet me tonight to talk. Has he ever been physical with you? Please be careful. He sounds scary.
Author SurferGurl80 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 Has he ever been physical with you? Please be careful. He sounds scary. Never. That's why this is so weird. He just went off the deep end over this issue. When I brought up the trash talk his reasoning was: don't do things that piss me off on purpose and I won't talk like that. Like it's MY fault. Because I didn't jump and cancel my facebook acct as he directed me to do.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 When I brought up the trash talk his reasoning was: don't do things that piss me off on purpose and I won't talk like that. Like it's MY fault. Because I didn't jump and cancel my facebook acct as he directed me to do. He's blaming YOU for HIS bad behavior. Not good. It's obvious this guy has gone through something painful related to this. Either he cheated on someone through a social networking site or similar, or he was cheated on in that way, or something. I like the way you are standing up for yourself, keeping a clear head, and not letting him "cross the street". Let us know how it turns out.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 In today's day and age his reaction says more to me than just jealousy.. either he is just a controlling idiot or he himself has a Facebook page and he doesn't want you to find it . Facebook isn't a dating site.. How about this... Maybe if he had a Facebook site and he was a friend of yours he would feel better about you belonging to it.. but then again.....Something tells me he has one already... You can't hide your page, all she has to do is type his name in and if she knows a nickname for him that he identifies with in a social setting then she can type that too. He sounds like a jerk, someone with serious control issues and I can't for the life of me understand why women put up with this behaviour.
Jilly Bean Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Can you say controlling, paranoid and insecure? Is he like this a lot? Its a pretty extreme reaction. Now, if this was MS, with you in bikini shots, sure, I'd see his point. But, I recently joined facebook, and have reconnected with friends from high school, a cousin, former colleagues. Its not a hookup site AT ALL. Its not designed for that, and IMO, it would be very hard to do, since random people cant contact you that easily.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 What a coincidence. He just texted me and asked me if I got rid of the page. I texted him back and asked him to explain to me as clearly as possible what his problem with facebook is. He sent back: It always begins as just looking for friends. How about u setting up dates behind my back and playing me for a chump? WTF?! He's probably been hurt using Myspace, maybe he had a girlfriend or was seeing a girl whom I he had deep feelings for and she left him for someone else through a social networking site. Either that or he is a possessive, jealous and controlling person with serious mental health issues.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I just turned 28 and he'll be 28 next month. OMG WTF! I thought you two were 17.
Flowerpower7 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Reading the book "In Sheeps Clothing" helped alot to understand different types of contoling people and "how" to deat with them. I had a friend who was passive aggressive, he would only be friends with me under his terms. I'm so glad we arent friends anymore, whew....I know the signs now, to stay away!
porter218 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Never. That's why this is so weird. He just went off the deep end over this issue. When I brought up the trash talk his reasoning was: don't do things that piss me off on purpose and I won't talk like that. Like it's MY fault. Because I didn't jump and cancel my facebook acct as he directed me to do. Holy sh**!!! This is an abuser in the making...I put my money on it. I would stick to what I said earlier...Tell him to grow up. If this is what he thinks of you then by all means ya'll don't belong together. I would be asking him what kind of whoring friends does he have to make him think like this.
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Never. That's why this is so weird. He just went off the deep end over this issue. When I brought up the trash talk his reasoning was: don't do things that piss me off on purpose and I won't talk like that. Like it's MY fault. Because I didn't jump and cancel my facebook acct as he directed me to do. You need to step away from this guy for a bit... He seems to have some control over you already and it seems to me that the " Talk " is all about him going to exert himself on you control wise... Personally I think you need to sleep on this for a day or so and then take an action .. whatever it is and screw him and what he thinks.. Something tells me that you are just now getting a glimpse into what your future will be like if you both go further with the relationship. Don't allow yourself to get caught into the cycle of domestic abuse.. it is harder to get out of then you realize..
Author SurferGurl80 Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 Don't allow yourself to get caught into the cycle of domestic abuse.. it is harder to get out of then you realize.. I never thought of it that way. Never saw this behavior before. I agreed to meet him but it's in a public place, so I'm not concerned. If it continues to go badly, I don't have a choice but to cut him loose. Weirdest thing I've ever been a part of.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 If I was you, I'd have cut him off after he mentioned the word whore. I can't imagine ever saying that to my girlfriend and if I did, I'd end up in hospital and rightfully so, that's no way to speak to someone you supposedly care about. The guy is a jerk and needs to be told so.
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