Jump to content

Ok so 6'1 180 pound guy was hotter than I expected

gummybear

By gummybear
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

penny009 New Member

penny009

Posted
Posted
Not only was he not fat, he was slender and good-looking, plus he had alot of connections to cool places in the new city I'm in. He's not my type plus he made me pay for part of the bill (this is the first time a guy made me pay for dinner on the first date) so I probably won't want him as my bf, but I think he'd make a good friend for a newbie like me in town. He's got free passes to museums and this cool club and wants me to go with him. He said he's gonna email me tomorrow so we shall see. Hopefully this other guy I got from eharmony will be better bf material.

 

 

Regarding eHarmony...

 

After my divorce, I wallowed in the usual self-pity for almost a year until one of my girlfriends recently convinced me to join eHarmony. Did some quick research and according to this article eHarmony has the highest percentage of "divorcees" out of all of the online dating services. Anyone know why divorced people flock to eHarmony so much? Has anyone (who is or was divorced) ever date another divorced person? How did it go?

 

I am wondering if I made a good choice or not to join eHarmony....

 

To the original poster.....how is your experience going so far? Have you met alot of divorced people on there?

 

- Karen

Isolde Established Member

Isolde

Posted
Posted

Gummybear, don't count on this guy being okay with being "just friends." Seems like whenever I date a guy, even if he's not that into me, he gets mad when I pull the just friends card and disappears forever. Just don't expect too much :)

 

Emotionally mature, stable guys tend to be more receptive to a non-dating relationship IMO, as are those with the experience to know that sometimes staying friends could enable romance later on (not saying you'll fall for this guy, but it has happened).

Shygirl15 Established Member

Shygirl15

Posted
Posted
Regarding eHarmony...

 

After my divorce, I wallowed in the usual self-pity for almost a year until one of my girlfriends recently convinced me to join eHarmony. Did some quick research and according to this article eHarmony has the highest percentage of "divorcees" out of all of the online dating services. Anyone know why divorced people flock to eHarmony so much? Has anyone (who is or was divorced) ever date another divorced person? How did it go?

 

I am wondering if I made a good choice or not to join eHarmony....

 

To the original poster.....how is your experience going so far? Have you met alot of divorced people on there?

 

- Karen

 

Karen,

I'm divorced and all of my BFs are either divorced or separated, but I met them on other dating sites (Match, Yahoo Personals). I don't know if eHarmony has the highest percentage of anything as they're no longer sending me any matches anymore. I'm so disappointed with eHarmony to the extent I made a thread out of it. There are mixed comments from people who have had experience with it on the attached link.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t164923/

  • Author
gummybear Established Member

gummybear

Posted
  • Author
Posted

K I just sent him an email telling him I dont feel romantic sparks but would like to be friends. I sent the email about 3 hours ago. Just gotta wait and see I suppose :).

Green Established Member

Green

Posted
Posted

lame I've never been told this by a girl... never

Mahatma Established Member

Mahatma

Posted
Posted

Um... the whole offering to pay out of politeness is some strait bull. I've never let a girl pay on the first date but, if she offers, I expect her to fully be serious and not mind paying. If you are going make a big deal out of that, you should never have even offered.

 

Why do you consider it polite to offer? Whatever your reason is, think about if that is how you truly feel.

  • Author
gummybear Established Member

gummybear

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Um... the whole offering to pay out of politeness is some strait bull. I've never let a girl pay on the first date but, if she offers, I expect her to fully be serious and not mind paying. If you are going make a big deal out of that, you should never have even offered.

 

Why do you consider it polite to offer? Whatever your reason is, think about if that is how you truly feel.

 

Maybe it's a cultural thing. I'm Chinese. According to Chinese tradition, when someone invites a guest to dinner, the guest can not just expect the inviter to pay and must offer to pay out of politeness, however the inviter should be the one to pay, knowing that the offer was done just to be polite. There. I guess me and this guy has just got a cultural incompability (he's Caucasian).

mixwell Established Member

mixwell

Posted
Posted
if you're going to offer to pay and then be upset about it on the back end then that is just passive aggressive behavior... which is SO not good.

 

just say what you mean next time...

 

if you don't want to pay - don't offer

 

if you don't mind paying - then offer

 

what you did was totally playing games with him so that you'd have a reason to be mad at him without his knowledge = not cool.

 

Word.. don't make the gesture if you don't mean it..

Al_Bundy Established Member

Al_Bundy

Posted
Posted
Not only was he not fat, he was slender and good-looking,

 

But he must not have had a washboard stomach and that was probably a turn off for ya;)

 

Keep searchin' for that perfect supermodel guy.

Al_Bundy Established Member

Al_Bundy

Posted
Posted
Haha no he didnt' *make* me pay. I offerred to pay for my half and he didn't stop me

 

Then why offer? Now you are mad because he called your bluff?

 

People that can't play poker should get off the table.

Al_Bundy Established Member

Al_Bundy

Posted
Posted
ok wow just to clarify I am not that superficial.

 

I think alot of posters here would disagree.

Mary3 Established Member

Mary3

Posted
Posted
Haha no he didnt' *make* me pay. I offerred to pay for my half and he didn't stop me (normally the guy will stop me). He also said 'this is the first time I've gone dutch on a date' which I thought was also weird. When I asked him if he'd ever met anyone from online, he said he's had email exchanges with girls before but I'm the first he's actually interested in meeting in person...ever. He also talked about how he was socially awkward (pimple faced, etc) until just 2 years ago.

 

So I'm thinking either he's 1) cheap 2) mistook my offer as that I *wanted* to pay my half when really I was just offering out of politeness haha or 3) he's kinda clueless when it comes to dating. But yea basically he's the first guy who ever let me pay my half on a first date so that was a huge turn off for me.

 

He's cheap.

 

I think he lied when he said " This is the first time I have gone dutch on a date " He could have said :" Wow this is first , but no , I have the bill taken care of :" But he didn't , he accepted your payment.

 

Awkward : Its an excuse . Him being awkward still the turn off is he wanted you to pay half. I can see after the first date if things were developing how you could cook him dinner but nooooo..... Strike out , yuck.

vonerik012 Established Member

vonerik012

Posted
Posted

LOL, is this even a real thread?

 

You offer to pay, he accepts, you pay 1/3, and he is a cheap, clueless, man.

 

How is it polite to offer something you do not want to do? And then hold it against them? That is really immature.

Krajt Established Member

Krajt

Posted
Posted

 

How is it polite to offer something you do not want to do? And then hold it against them? That is really immature.

 

I agree, I'm also taking this topic personally, because my girlfriend pays 50/50, I do offer to pay the full bill, each and everytime we dine, and go out, but she always declines. She is financially independent and I appreciate that and it's great when she pays her half, but I have no problem paying for her.

Geishawhelk Established Member

Geishawhelk

Posted
Posted

Gummybear, you may find it easier to go by the rule:

'Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

 

Other people are not psychic. You can't expect a guy on a first date to be able to second-guess you and know that actually, you're only offering out of politeness and that you don't expect your offer to be taken up.

 

Maybe you should date a Chinese guy. Would he know that what you're saying is not what you mean?

 

I'm sorry, but if I were he, and reading this thread, I know just what I'd say if you called me to suggest a second date.

My answer would contain the words 'a, take, go and hike'.

 

I'd say what I mean.

And mean what I say.

vonerik012 Established Member

vonerik012

Posted
Posted
Well when the bill came, I semi-slowly went into my purse to grab my card and it took like a good few seconds. Usually during that time a guy yells out 'it's ok, i got it!' but to my surprise, this guy just let me get my card out so I had no choice but to say 'i'll pay my half.'

 

And yea, I guess it was a test. I'll see if he emails me today like he said he would but yea, I think this guy is probably a no for me. I miss the fuzzy feeling from my ex.

 

How cheap are some people? All this thought goes into dishing out a few dollars for food you ate? It seems you have pulled your little insincere offer to pay trick rather often. Are you internet dating for free meals and entertainment?

 

You offered, he accepted. Why should he be paying for you if you are just seeking friends anyway, and not even over your ex?

 

It's too bad if you are bored. That's your problem, not everyone elses. And stop being so cheap.

vince1128 Member

vince1128

Posted
Posted

please give a link of this thread to the poor guy to show what a fake superficial person you sound like. He treated you to dinner and you offered to even cover part of it. If I spent the money he did on a girl like you just to know she was pissed cause he didn't spend enough I would be mad and feel used. People like you make me sick, I feel bad for him

  • Author
gummybear Established Member

gummybear

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Ok I'm sorry if you all think I"m superficial, but according to my Chinese culture what this guy did was cheap. If you all don't agree with my cultural traditions then fine, but no need to bash alright.

 

Just so you know, in all my past relationships the guy pays for the first date but then I always pay for the next one and it's almost 50/50 after that. In fact, when my ex came to visit me in my new city I insisted on paying for him but he won't let me (which made me feel he cared) and even then I forced my way in to pay for 2/3 of his plane ticket in the very end which cost me $184. Plus I bought us both our amusement tickets which totalled $80 bucks. Everytime he wanted to pay more than 50/50 I'd stick my credit card in first...perhaps its the fact I know he'd want to pay which makes me want to pay instead. He's always said he was brought up to take care of and pay for the girl and that made me feel cared for and made me fall for him. I never took advantage of him financially but it was nice knowing he'd be there for me if I so happened to get into any financial trouble. That's just how I was brought up by my chinese cultural...

vince1128 Member

vince1128

Posted
Posted

I don't care if your Pakistani. How can you say yyour not superficial, look at your ****ing thread title!!! I agree with previous people, this has nothing to do with paying, you just weren't attracted to him. Plain and simple

  • Author
gummybear Established Member

gummybear

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I don't care if your Pakistani. How can you say yyour not superficial, look at your ****ing thread title!!! I agree with previous people, this has nothing to do with paying, you just weren't attracted to him. Plain and simple

 

Well what about my thread title? I super don't like this guy even though he is f*cking hot, how is that particularly superficial?

vince1128 Member

vince1128

Posted
Posted

because your thread title had nothing to do with that fact that he didnt pay, which seems to be your "clouded" biggest issue. you give a completely irrelevant detail about his height and weight

Kasan Established Member

Kasan

Posted
Posted

You might not be superficial.....

 

However you definitely have communication problems, which........judging by the amount of troubled relationships on here could cause you difficulty down the road.

vonerik012 Established Member

vonerik012

Posted
Posted

So in traditional Chinese culture, 2 people go out on an internet date, the female posts on a website asking others if he might be fat, and then decides to go out with him, even though she is not over her ex.

 

Then they go out and eat for a $100 on a blind date. When it is time to pay, the traditional Chinese female does a "fake pay" movement, while verbally offering to pay?

FleshNBones Established Member

FleshNBones

Posted
Posted
Ok I'm sorry if you all think I"m superficial, but according to my Chinese culture what this guy did was cheap. If you all don't agree with my cultural traditions then fine, but no need to bash alright.
When in Rome, be a Roman.
vince1128 Member

vince1128

Posted
Posted
So in traditional Chinese culture, 2 people go out on an internet date, the female posts on a website asking others if he might be fat, and then decides to go out with him, even though she is not over her ex.

 

Then they go out and eat for a $100 on a blind date. When it is time to pay, the traditional Chinese female does a "fake pay" movement, while verbally offering to pay?

 

hahaha told!!! Awesome post, this is what I'm talking about

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...