Shygirl15 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I'm Classy. I would have bought that if I didn't read your response to Quankanne !
Author gummybear Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 Well shoot, GB, you didn't mention initially that you offered to pay - lol! That does kinda change things, as Sunny pointed out. It was a test then - to see how he would react? I have never had a guy ask to pay on a date, but I also have never offered. Well when the bill came, I semi-slowly went into my purse to grab my card and it took like a good few seconds. Usually during that time a guy yells out 'it's ok, i got it!' but to my surprise, this guy just let me get my card out so I had no choice but to say 'i'll pay my half.' And yea, I guess it was a test. I'll see if he emails me today like he said he would but yea, I think this guy is probably a no for me. I miss the fuzzy feeling from my ex.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I would have bought that if I didn't read your response to Quankanne ! I'm really classy, I like oral sex with a napkin.
CaliGuy Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 If he had to pay he probably wouldn't invite you. LOL Holy crap dude, where have you been??? Long time no see, bro. OP: Going Dutch is actually quite common now-a-days. You OFFERED to pay half and he let you because he didn't want you to think there were any expectations of sex. See, guys can't win no matter what we do, lol! And sometimes women make it extremely difficult for us to know what the right thing to do is. I paid for my entire date last night ($70.00 worth) but if she had offered to cover her half I don't think I would have stopped her either. (especially since she barely touched her food, she eats like a bird!). Doesn't matter if I was interested or not. There shouldn't be any expectations when you're getting to know each other.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Holy crap dude, where have you been??? Long time no see, bro. OP: Going Dutch is actually quite common now-a-days. You OFFERED to pay half and he let you because he didn't want you to think there were any expectations of sex. See, guys can't win no matter what we do, lol! And sometimes women make it extremely difficult for us to know what the right thing to do is. I paid for my entire date last night ($70.00 worth) but if she had offered to cover her half I don't think I would have stopped her either. (especially since she barely touched her food, she eats like a bird!). Doesn't matter if I was interested or not. There shouldn't be any expectations when you're getting to know each other. The first sentence sounds like something off "Undone the sweater song". I thought a majority of women like a bird? They like nuts don't they?
quankanne Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I would have bought that if I didn't read your response to Quankanne hey, while service station sex might not be classy, it sounds kind of ... daring ... to say the least someone help me get my mind wrapped around this: There are first dates that are upward of the average $30 meals that we find down here?!! Dang, y'all must live in expensive areas. Or dine opulently. back home, you can feed two people handsomely at the local taco joint for under $12 – fresh tortillas, chips & salsa, and free drink refills!
Author gummybear Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 Holy crap dude, where have you been??? Long time no see, bro. OP: Going Dutch is actually quite common now-a-days. You OFFERED to pay half and he let you because he didn't want you to think there were any expectations of sex. See, guys can't win no matter what we do, lol! And sometimes women make it extremely difficult for us to know what the right thing to do is. I paid for my entire date last night ($70.00 worth) but if she had offered to cover her half I don't think I would have stopped her either. (especially since she barely touched her food, she eats like a bird!). Doesn't matter if I was interested or not. There shouldn't be any expectations when you're getting to know each other. Maybe this the guy letting the girl pay is common in this new city...he is the first guy I ever went out with in this new city. Everyone I ever dated in the past were from the same old city I was from and they all, whether they were interested or not, would *insist* on paying. Reasoning being either 1) they were interested and showed it by insisting to pay or 2) they were not interested and thus insisted to pay so that they won't feel bad for later on having to reject a girl. The guy paying for the first date was in all situations the gentlemanly thing to do...at least in my old city. But I guess I'm in new city now so I have no idea what to expect or even know what is common. But even aside from this whole paying thing, something is just lacking between us. Like this spark is lacking.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I would have bought that if I didn't read your response to Quankanne hey, while service station sex might not be classy, it sounds kind of ... daring ... to say the least someone help me get my mind wrapped around this: There are first dates that are upward of the average $30 meals that we find down here?!! Dang, y'all must live in expensive areas. Or dine opulently. back home, you can feed two people handsomely at the local taco joint for under $12 – fresh tortillas, chips & salsa, and free drink refills! Did I mention that this service station offers 5 star service, and more importantly service with a smile, ergo I am still classy as classy as Shygirl. You sound like someone I'd take on a date $12 for all that? Woah! Cheaper than I anticipated and who says Texas is a stupid state?
westernxer Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Holy crap dude, where have you been??? Long time no see, bro. Yeah, I've missed this place, and it was time to come back. I'm still not 6' 1" but still more than 180. LOL
Author gummybear Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 He just sent me an email 5 minutes ago asking to meet up again. I dumped his email in the bin. As tempting as his good looks and his offers to take me to places in this new city are, I just can't force this stuff. I mean I broke up with my ex who I like way more than this current guy, so there's no way I can date him. It wouldn't be right.
Lucky_One Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 You didn't reply and tell him no thank you??
Author gummybear Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 You didn't reply and tell him no thank you?? Hm...good point. I've never had to compose an email like that. So how can I say politely that it was nice meeting him, that I didn't think there was enough chemistry between us, but I would like to be friends? I'm not good with this stuff. I realized in the past I would just ignore the email/phonecall but that's a bit rude probably. Any advice on what to write (word for word?) appreciated.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Try being honest, but wrap that honesty up with a nicety. For instance instead of saying "I feel no chemistry between us, I don't like you much, I liked my ex boyfriend more than I like you, I didn't really want to pay my share for the meal and I only wanted to date you for a guided tour around the city. Say something that you truly feel without being rude.
Author gummybear Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 Try being honest, but wrap that honesty up with a nicety. For instance instead of saying "I feel no chemistry between us, I don't like you much, I liked my ex boyfriend more than I like you, I didn't really want to pay my share for the meal and I only wanted to date you for a guided tour around the city. Say something that you truly feel without being rude. LOL, eventhough you're totally mocking me, it's pretty funny. So HOW exactly do I say what I truly feel without being rude? You will have to give me a word for word on that.
westernxer Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 So how can I say politely that it was nice meeting him, that I didn't think there was enough chemistry between us, but I would like to be friends? Just say what you just said, but without the friend part.
Author gummybear Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 Just say what you just said, but without the friend part. On second thought, I still might consider hanging out wiht him as friends though since I really have no friends in this new city (refer to a thread I just started this morning).
Lucky_One Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Oh. So he isn't good enough for a BF since he didn't smack your hand when you got out your wallet, but he is good enough to get you into a club or other social events. I see why guys don't like women sometimes.
Jilly Bean Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 On second thought, I still might consider hanging out wiht him as friends though since I really have no friends in this new city (refer to a thread I just started this morning). Well, understand he may not want to be friendzoned, GB. I went out with someone a few weeks ago. He contacted me to get together again, and I wasn't interested in him romantically, so I declined and put in the friends thing (well, I said we should do the same activity again that we did on our "date*). He wrote me back that though he had fun, he really is putting his energy into dating, and did not want to be friends with me. Good for him, I say!
Author gummybear Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 Well, understand he may not want to be friendzoned, GB. I went out with someone a few weeks ago. He contacted me to get together again, and I wasn't interested in him romantically, so I declined and put in the friends thing (well, I said we should do the same activity again that we did on our "date*). He wrote me back that though he had fun, he really is putting his energy into dating, and did not want to be friends with me. Good for him, I say! How did you decline him politely and ask to be friends? I mean yea I know he might not want to be friendzoned, he can either accept it or decline, but no harm in trying. I'm just wondering what I should email him back so I don't lead him on but at the same time I dont want it to be awkward.
Krajt Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 LOL, eventhough you're totally mocking me, it's pretty funny. So HOW exactly do I say what I truly feel without being rude? You will have to give me a word for word on that. Say "I enjoyed my date with you (insert day of date), but I just do not feel any chemistry towards you, but I would like to hang out with you as friends". It's simple, it's polite and it's straight to the point.
djhall Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 back home, you can feed two people handsomely at the local taco joint for under $12 – fresh tortillas, chips & salsa, and free drink refills! I have to admit, if you took me to a taco joint where we could get good tacos, fresh torillas, chips, salsa, and drinks with refills for $6 a person, I be impressed! An appreciation for Mexican food and a knack for saving money without noticable sacrifice are handy qualities in a LTR.
Jilly Bean Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 How did you decline him politely and ask to be friends? I mean yea I know he might not want to be friendzoned, he can either accept it or decline, but no harm in trying. I'm just wondering what I should email him back so I don't lead him on but at the same time I dont want it to be awkward. Well, my excuse wont work for you, but I told him I was going to be moving back east in a few months, so my head is no longer into dating locally. That I had fun, and if he wanted to go driving again (we both have the same car, and went on a high speed, mountain drive on our date, after breakfast out), I would like that. You have to respond to him, but just be aware that he may not want to be friendzoned. Ive had a few guys tell me that, when I have declined a romance with them. Best thing is TO BE HONEST. From there, youll have to take your chances on how he responds. Maybe say something about how you were precipitous in dating, as you are still getting over someone, but if he would like to still hang out AS FRIENDS, you make a great wingwoman, etc.
westernxer Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 On second thought, I still might consider hanging out wiht him as friends though since I really have no friends in this new city (refer to a thread I just started this morning). Then just string him along. He'll get the hint eventually, but since he won't be paying for your share, he probably won't even mind.
Author gummybear Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 Maybe say something about how you were precipitous in dating, as you are still getting over someone, but if he would like to still hang out AS FRIENDS, you make a great wingwoman, etc. Well I'm interested in dating, just not in dating him in particular because he's not my type. I mean if I meet a guy the next day who is my type I'd date him and if that happened I think this new friend of mine would think I lied to him.
quankanne Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 An appreciation for Mexican food and a knack for saving money without noticable sacrifice are handy qualities in a LTR. :laugh: gummy be honest, but kind. Tell him that you enjoyed meeting up with him for dinner, but that you felt no romantic sparks. And that if he ever just wanted to hang out to hang out, you wouldn't mind hearing from him again. at least, I *think* this could be a workable way of keeping a door open to a potential friendship!
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