Kman21 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 Hello LS, my ex broke up with me 8 months ago, prior to our break-up, we shared an email address and we sometimes left messages for each other on this email account. To this day she still checks it after we broke up, she used to check it often after we broke up, like every 30 minutes after she came home from work, now its less but she still checks it every day. Now I just dont understand why she still does this even after we broke, she moved on and everything. BTW we are both young, I am 18 and she is 19 just to point that out.
Art_Critic Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 It doesn't matter why she still checks it.. you still do to... Either change the password or stop checking it yourself.. In order to move on you have to rebuild your life without her.. not including her in anything anymore.. including email I know it is tough to undersatnd, but you can't move on when you still let her get in your head like this... Exorcise her out of your life.. you will then move on and won't even look back
Author Kman21 Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 wow over 100 views and one reply?
Nevermind Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Haha. I can imagine why she does it. Same reason as you: she sees that you check regularly. And wonders why. Kinda cute!
superd Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Advice: the last thing I would ever share would be an email. What the hell were you thinking?
JohnnyBlaze Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Either !!!***CHANGE THE PASSWORD***!!! or stop checking it yourself.. Is that emphasized enough? When someone leaves the company, the very first thing we do in IT is change their password. Why? So they can't get back in and cause us any harm in the event they feel slighted. When you make the mistake of giving a girl your password, the instant you break up, even while you're stunned and wondering what just happened, you should be changing your password. Especially if she dumped you over and went away mad (regardless of the reason), she's going to want to burn you, and burn you bad. In this day and age, it's pretty easy to do via email. Leaving her with the current password just makes it way too easy. I agree with Superd that your email shouldn't be shared, but that's in the past; there's nothing that can be done about that now. From here forward, change your password and don't give the new password out to anyone!!
EricaL Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 It is so easy to get addicted or to develop a habit when it ties some how to our emotions or our needs for fulfillment. You and she had a connection of a relationship and one of the mechanisms or pieces of your relationship was this method of communication. Yes, I think the advice of not sharing email is wise. If you are ready to break away and move on... then you should stop looking and wondering. But ask yourself, why are you still checking? Are you looking for emails from other people, groups and activities? If so, make a new email address and leave this one behind. Are you missing her in some way, can you not fully separate? If so, then perhaps you should communicate with her and resolve it. Or become aware of it and make the decision to permanently step away from the temptation. Right now, that email is a temptation and you are giving in to it. Don't wonder why she's giving in to the temptation, find out why you are.
mixwell Posted September 25, 2008 Posted September 25, 2008 Haha. I can imagine why she does it. Same reason as you: she sees that you check regularly. And wonders why. Kinda cute! I can imagine them both sitting at their computers sitting there checking it at the same time.. haha awww sorry OP but you need to change the PW or make a new e-mail..
RecordProducer Posted September 26, 2008 Posted September 26, 2008 wow over 100 views and one reply?There is a slight silent discrimination against light issues on LS. We love heavy drama. Buwahahahahah!
Author Kman21 Posted September 27, 2008 Author Posted September 27, 2008 I think you guys misunderstood, we only use the email account to leave messages for each other, and when we made it that was its intention and it still, when she broke up with me she told me our email will always be open, and its been 8 months already and she still checks the god damn thing, im just wondering why....
sandrawg Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 I think you guys misunderstood, we only use the email account to leave messages for each other, and when we made it that was its intention and it still, when she broke up with me she told me our email will always be open, and its been 8 months already and she still checks the god damn thing, im just wondering why.... How do you know she checks it every day, if you're not ALSO checking it everyday? Just get rid of the damn thing...
Nevermind Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 Look, if you're both still checking and wondering why the other is still checking, then maybe there are still unresolved issues between you. Easiest and best way to find out: talk to her.
pleasebelieveme Posted September 27, 2008 Posted September 27, 2008 One time I dated a girl for quite awhile, and I knew the password to her personal email address. So, after she dumped me I found myself obsessively checking her email - sometimes 10+ times a day - for over a year!!! I was pretty pathetic. Eventually, I knew I had to stop. Not so much because it's ethically wrong to be going that (though that's important), but because I finally realized it was keeping me from severing my ties with my ex. We were in NC the whole time, but by checking her email I found I could feel like I still had a connection with her while not actually being connected to her. And, it allowed me to feel a sense of control over her: the whole time I checked her email she never once received an email from any suitors - so, I knew she was single the whole time. That gave me a sense of control over her, and of course a sense of hope we might get back together. Now I feel really gross that I did that for so long, but I was young and insecure and I really missed her. At some point you need to do what I did - you need to come to a point where you either address your issues with her head-on, or you completely let go and stop checking your joint address. It's a tough decision. It's ever so easy to keep checking that email, I know. The ultimate decision to change is up to you. -pbm
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