Even though you've been FZ'ed....THEY too have friends....

[ed-205]

So...in essence, there's NO such thing as a good "Wing woman"?

 

Sure, there's plenty of them, and they all work at "Hooter's" !

 

Make mine Extra Spicy!

[tanbark813]

So...in essence, there's NO such thing as a good "Wing woman"?

 

Not true either. I have a good female friend who I went out to the bars with one night. At one point I got a text message from a girl I had just met a couple days ago asking what I was up to. I suggested she come to the bar we were at so she did.

 

The three of us were hanging out for a while and then I got up to go to the bathroom. My female friend was talking to one of her coworkers or something she happened to see at the bar leaving my "date" alone. When I got back from the bathroom some guy was talking to her.

 

I sat down and the guy didn't leave so my friend came over and tapped the top of his bottle of beer with hers and made it foam over. Then she apologized and took him to the bar to buy him a new beer leaving me and my "date" in peace.

[Bells]

Not true either. I have a good female friend who I went out to the bars with one night. At one point I got a text message from a girl I had just met a couple days ago asking what I was up to. I suggested she come to the bar we were at so she did.

 

The three of us were hanging out for a while and then I got up to go to the bathroom. My female friend was talking to one of her coworkers or something she happened to see at the bar leaving my "date" alone. When I got back from the bathroom some guy was talking to her.

 

I sat down and the guy didn't leave so my friend came over and tapped the top of his bottle of beer with hers and made it foam over. Then she apologized and took him to the bar to buy him a new beer leaving me and my "date" in peace.

 

Guess you lucked out...seems alot of men here think female friends won't do you ANY favors.

[D-Jam]

I don't need to be her "standby" the next time she has a flat tire, or needs to "borrow" a few bucks, that's how a guy gets stuck paying off a $1300 Vet bill for a dog he don't even get to see!

Female "Friends" will expect you to pick them up at the party where their date "ditched" them, look after their kids while they spend the night with their next future ex-b/f, and provide food and shelter for them while they're "between relationships", all "benefits" they know they'll lose out on if they risk letting you meet someone who might actually care about you.

No offense, but those aren't real friends. This is what I and many speak of what will make a guy a "doormat nice guy".

 

Real female friends are there for you think and thin. Real female friends of mine actually PROTECTED ME from going after certain women whom I thought were hot, but later realized were bad news. Real female friends help me decorate my condo, showed me how to care for plants, and even make for nice company when I want to go to a gallery opening...no date or pseudo-date, but someone who isn't run by testosterone and can get into the finer things in life.

 

ed-205, the women you speak of are just plain losers and mooches. They don't want you or me as friends, they want us as a stand by guy so they can avoid personal responsibility as well as ever appearing "single and alone". Lord knows I've had women in my past who will vanish for weeks and then call me out of the blue to say hi, then immediately get into bitching about whatever jerk she's dating.

 

When a girl FZ's me, I SET LIMITS!

 

• I'll change a tire for her if I have the time and am available, because that's what friends do, but I expect nothing in return and nothing out of it.
  
• I'll loan a female friend a few dollars if she's short one week and needs $1-$20...but I would not lend ANY friend hundreds to thousands to pay a bill or something of that nature. I also will NOT cosign anything with any friend, male or female. Had a few ask me to cosign financing for things...no way.
  
• I'd pick up a male or female friend if they got ditched somewhere and had no ride, but if they go out with some loser and end up somewhere far looking for an escape, then they're on their own. I judge things based on if he/she is in real trouble, or was being careless and naive and now is in a small mess.
  
• I don't babysit...although I might for some gal pals so they can possibly date and find love. HOWEVER, these are actual friends who would do the same for me (if I had kids) and I have no intentions or desires to be more with them.
  
• I don't provide food nor shelter for anyone. You can't hold a job, or you naively move in quickly with whoever you're dating...then you're on your own. I'm not the Salvation Army.
  

You have to set limits right off the bat, be a man. Being a nice person is fine, but not when the limits of being a nice friend are greatly stretched. If you seem to be her private assistant for her BS, then you know she's a user...if she's concerned about your well being and will be there for you in most instances...then that's a friend.

 

 

By the way, I met my current girlfriend through a female friend. My buddy's girlfriend introduced us. So it can happen...just choose your friends wisely.

[KinAZ]

....something someone told me....I refer to this as some kind of building socila capital or "networking" but in a social venue.

 

Say if a woman doesn't think of you in "That way" but you know she has alot of unattached single friends....perhaps she can invite you out on the night on the town along with HER friends as well?

 

Does this ever happen?

 

Kind of like "Networking" but it's more about dating.

 

Alright, there are a couple of things going here... as was already said by someone else, it really does depend on why you were put in the friend zone.

 

If you were put there because she didn't think you were her type physically, but you happen to be her friend's type... then, this could happen.

 

However, depending on the guy and the girl, women tend to have a problem with hand me downs. In the back of some of our minds "If he tried to talk to her first, maybe he still has a thing for her." Depending on the situation, and what we heard about it, we might not be too interested in the leftovers. I think guys might be a little different in that respect.

 

On the other hand, if the friend REALLY fancies the guy, she might bend the rules.

 

It really does depend on the code among friends, and what has been said about you already.

 

Although this is rare, some guys are friend zoned as alternates. You're attracted, but not presently interested. Or "I like him, but..." In those cases, she might not be willing to sell you to one of her friends.

 

If a woman is friends with you and you've made your interests known, she will either try to find a woman for you to get you out of her hair if you persist, or distance herself. If your advances haven't forced her already (assuming you tried more than once) to hook you up with someone else or sort of disappear on you, she's probably not likely to want give your attention to someone else.

[ed-205]

 

When a girl FZ's me, I SET LIMITS!

 

• I'll change a tire for her if I have the time and am available, because that's what friends do, but I expect nothing in return and nothing out of it.
  
• I'll loan a female friend a few dollars if she's short one week and needs $1-$20...but I would not lend ANY friend hundreds to thousands to pay a bill or something of that nature. I also will NOT cosign anything with any friend, male or female. Had a few ask me to cosign financing for things...no way.
  
• I'd pick up a male or female friend if they got ditched somewhere and had no ride, but if they go out with some loser and end up somewhere far looking for an escape, then they're on their own. I judge things based on if he/she is in real trouble, or was being careless and naive and now is in a small mess.
  
• I don't babysit...although I might for some gal pals so they can possibly date and find love. HOWEVER, these are actual friends who would do the same for me (if I had kids) and I have no intentions or desires to be more with them.
  
• I don't provide food nor shelter for anyone. You can't hold a job, or you naively move in quickly with whoever you're dating...then you're on your own. I'm not the Salvation Army.
  

Of course, you are right. I do have some female friends that I help out, (happily married ones for the most part, and a few are gay) and I don't mind helping them out at all.

The Vet bill, I actually did for the dog (I *liked* the dog), and the bill was actually a computer screw-up on the part of the Vet's office. She felt *real* bad about it, and promised to pay me back anyway...

I agree with the rest of your rules as well. The ones I'm talking about are the ones who lead you around by the nose for a couple weeks, then decide you aren't date-worthy, but you make a swell *Special Friend*...

 

By the way, I met my current girlfriend through a female friend. My buddy's girlfriend introduced us. So it can happen...just choose your friends wisely.

 

I'm not surprised, she did her girlfriend a favor and you passed her "dateable" requirements. That's happened to me too, but I have NEVER had a female "friend" set me up out of her desire to see me in a happy relationship.

[D-Jam]

I'm not surprised, she did her girlfriend a favor and you passed her "dateable" requirements. That's happened to me too, but I have NEVER had a female "friend" set me up out of her desire to see me in a happy relationship.

I dunno. I'd like to think it was both.

 

We became good friends because she and my now GF both work a block from my work. In her eyes she saw me as a good man and her as a good woman...so why not hook them up?

 

I will agree there are some women who are more thinking of their female friend as the special person they must find a man for and the men as cattle, but there are good people out there and good social capital that can help. It's all about choosing your friends wisely.

[Trimmer]

I will agree there are some women who are more thinking of their female friend as the special person they must find a man for and the men as cattle....

I get this image of a woman in a white lab coat, standing in front of a large diagram with an old-style wooden pointer, lecturing to a group of other women. On the diagram is a rough outline of a man, divided into sections like a side of beef, only instead of "flank steak," "tenderloin," "brisket," etc. this diagram is divided up and marked with "macho," "arrogance," "sensitivity," "sex," "flatulence," etc...

[ed-205]

I dunno. I'd like to think it was both.

 

We became good friends because she and my now GF both work a block from my work. In her eyes she saw me as a good man and her as a good woman...so why not hook them up?

 

I will agree there are some women who are more thinking of their female friend as the special person they must find a man for and the men as cattle, but there are good people out there and good social capital that can help. It's all about choosing your friends wisely.

 

True! As long as you and your GF are happy together, HOW and WHY it happened really doesn't matter at all. People do this all the time for their friends. My (at the time) wife and I conspired to set-up one of my friends with one of hers, and they actually hit it off. Today, they are still happily married many, many years after my own marriage bit the dust, and I still feel some vicarious joy in their success.

Please understand, that I speak from my own experiences, and YMMV. After my divorce, the closest any of my female friends came to helping me out was "I know the perfect girl for you, but she doesn't like kids!"... and I heard it waaaayyy too many times.

 

So, it seems that my being a Single Dad plugged-up their "date able" filters before I even had a chance. Why did they bother saying anything to me at all?

[Trimmer]

So, it seems that my being a Single Dad plugged-up their "date able" filters before I even had a chance. Why did they bother saying anything to me at all?

I love that metaphor...

[D-Jam]

So, it seems that my being a Single Dad plugged-up their "date able" filters before I even had a chance. Why did they bother saying anything to me at all?

Try single moms...seriously.

 

One of my best friends is a Single Mom. Very attractive woman who would love to find a decent looking Jewish single Dad. She wants single Dads because of how many guys she meets who are all anti-marriage, anti-children, and anti-commitment. She hopes that a single dad will be more family oriented and want to marry and have a nice family with someone.

 

I'm sure my friend isn't the only one like her. Try single moms and I'll bet you'll snag yourself a hot MILF who won't think there's a bigger better deal than you.