LoveDeluxe78 Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 To be honest, I know absolutely nothing about dating! I'm 29 and most of my relationships have been with people I've met in school, through friends, or situations where it's a lot easier to enter into a relationship. Usually, you meet, major attraction, you hang out with each other after class, on the weekends, or if through friends, in a group first, then individually and next thing you know, you're a couple!! But now that I'm out of school, I really don't get how dating works. I have made many mistakes in dating simply because I just didn't realize and tune into people's dating paces and style. For example, I've dated guys I've met and started hanging out casually (watching movies at the house, not really going out much) and next thing you know, it's just been hanging out and not real dating! I guess they took the hanging out part as I wasn't really wanting to date them or they felt since they weren't formally dating me, I wasn't taken seriously. Then I've met guys where I've decided to do the formal dating style (going on formal dates once a week), only to have them step back since they felt that was too formal and most or all of their past relationships were entered into in slow, friends first style! Is there a uniform way in which people date? Case in point - I am "seeing" this guy now, it's been about 3 weeks. We used to text almost everyday, but I thought that was probably tiring him, so since then we've slowed down on the texting. But....we don't talk on the phone either. We don't text to ask each other how our days were, to say hi, or anything like that. We just plan these dates about once a week. They are also on weeknights since he isn't at the point where he wants to spend ALL or even the majority of his free time with me yet. And no, we haven't had sex so this isn't a fb/booty call situation. We actually go to baseball games, grab drinks, and we have a date this week for live music (jazz club)! So they aren't just dates where he comes over and leaves - they are formal dates. So my question is, is this dating? His pace and his style isn't me! After 3 weeks, I would like a 1) longer weekend dates 2) talk on the phone more often. So is it safe to conclude that he's just not interested, or is he just taking it slow? I would love to take this at a faster pace if I could, but I also don't want to rush him. At the same time, I also want to make sure he's interested. I got advice from people and they told me he was just being normal in the dating process since after 3 weeks you hardly know a person enough to be talking everyday and acting like a couple and spending all your free time together! Then others are telling me he doesn't seem TOO interested if he's not all over me at this point! So what is it? Is he just at a different pace or has a different dating style than me or is he not interested? I'm confused!
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