Lishy Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Have any of you ever dated or married a flakey/unreliable person? How did you deal with it? How bloody annyoying is it!!!!!!!! I would like to hear some flakey dating stories and the outcomes ..............
OpenBook Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I dated a flake once. He was a co-worker. He would ask me out, then stand me up. One time he invited me to happy hour... and brought along his new GF. Another time he stood me up for a company dinner at an executive's home. I showed up anyway, with my GF in tow. It was humiliating, but everyone was so kind, they vowed to kill him for me. They apparently dressed him down the next day, because he actually came by and apologized. But the behavior didn't stop. I was really into this guy. Each time he stood me up it killed me,... but I blew him off, kept my head up and kept going (and bored my GF's to tears with my whining!). He would always come back around a couple months later. Like every season, 4x a year, there he'd be. Like clockwork. So the 4th and final time he came back around, I turned the tables. He asked me out, I accepted... and then I never showed up. The next day he came by, I gave him zero explanation (said hi to him politely, but was busy talking to someone else). Then I started dating his best friend. And I made sure it was hot & heavy. (Which wasn't hard, as he and I were way more compatible anyway.) But revenge was so sweet. I've dated a couple of other flakes, but I just got bored and annoyed with them and rudely blew them off. It didn't matter to me. This guy for some reason, really got to me. I'll never forget the lesson he taught me. When someone's not treating you right, simply walk away.
Author Lishy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 My ex was a flake but it didnt show until we were dating for a while The thing was that I never saw it as flakey, I just got angry over it - Had I seen it as flakiness I would have run like the wind! What about people who had serious relationships with flakes? Did you ever find out why someone was so unreliable?
Lauriebell82 Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Before I started dating my current boyfreind I had a short relationship with a flake for about 3 months. It was so annoying because we would make plans and then he would TEXT ME (not call me) and tell me he couldn't make the date. We were semi-serious also, but he was just so unreliable that it finally got to me and we would have tons of fights over it! Finally the night we broke up we were supposed to go to my freind's engagement party (and he knew how much it meant to me) and he called and said that he couldn't come because he forgot he had already made plans with his cousin. I got pissed and started yelling at him over the phone and he broke up with me saying I was being too possessive. He had a serious gf prior to dating me, and he was really in love with her and she really hurt him. I don't remember him ever being unreliable to her, so all I can conclude is that he used me to try to get over her and never cared about me in the first place. It's a shame because we were good friends prior to dating and it ruined our friendship.
Author Lishy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 My ex would say that he will be around later and then not call or text, just not turn up! I would then get a call the next day saying he had fallen asleep! Any other stories?
Art_Critic Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I just love Cadbury Flakes.... mmmm good I dated a flaky girl once.. she was flaky more on the responsibility side though... You could count on her.. One time I loaned her my car and she drove thru one of those pay pass toll booths thinking I had the pay pass card on my truck... The 15$ ticket shows up in the mail and she never offered to pay for it..
Author Lishy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 Mmmmmmm have you tried the praline flake? Wow that is YUM MA RUMMM!!!!!!! ok back to topic! Anyone else had a flake (not a chocolate one;)) in their life?
tinad5 Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Great topic...there are many posts on this board about people getting blown off (I am one of them). I wonder sometimes how to tell the difference between getting blown off or just being involved with someone who is a flake. If someone keeps popping up in your life to make contact but doesn't follow through, how are we supposed to know if they are flakey or just not that interested? Love hearing all the stories!
marlena Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Lishy, Once you realize that someone is a flake, no second or third chances. Just flake out on them first. Bad,bad news they are.
Author Lishy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 Lishy, Once you realize that someone is a flake, no second or third chances. Just flake out on them first. Bad,bad news they are. The problem is,lovely Marlena, that when a guy is mostly fine and only does it occasionally you dont even realise! If only I knew then what I know now lol Cmon guys, gory story time ... Tell us about your flakes!!!!!!!
Krajt Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 My flake is thinly folded, milky and has lived in Australia, Ireland, New Zealand, South Africa and the United Kingdom. Her family line goes back to the 1920's, and she likes to indulge in 99's, a weird version of the 69 sex position. She often prefers a vanilla sex life and likes to serve herself with ice cream in the hottest of climates. She is an expert in the field of Noir, Snow, Dipped and Praline. She is always in confectionery shops and supermarkets where she goes off with numerous men and women to my shame, but even more of a shame is that she doesn't last long enough during the sensual activities.
marlena Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 If only I knew then what I know now lol Ah... my lovely Lishy, ever so true!!
Star Gazer Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Well, Lishy... If I were posting a thread about a guy who was being flaky, what would you say to me? One of two things: (1) He's a selfish twit who cares only about himself. and/or (2) He's just not that into you, because someone who cares wouldn't be so rude and flaky. Either way, flaky people are a waste of energy.
Trialbyfire Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 It's true what they say about people who are late for meetings, which can be applied towards flakes. "You have no respect for everyone else's time." can be amended to "You have no respect for the other person". Run, run away from the disrespectful. Yes, this is from one personal experience.
ianandris Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Flakes are just awful. I've got no patience for them. They're just clueless, and I can't be bothered to associate with that sort of person. Plus, it's about the most disrespectful thing in the world.
Author Lishy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 When you first meet a guy you are on the lookout for behaviour that proves he is not that into you or he is really into you When it creeps up on you and you dont even realise it is happening it is surely an eye opener! This was the first flakey man I have ever come across and it took me a while to see it - I guess that is because so much was right with us that I failed to see this thing that was lurking in the background and would bite me on the arse every few months I have a really busy life with my son and my family and friends and work so when he did this it was not the end of the world, but then he had to push it! Silly man lost the best thing that happened to him and he knows it for sure! I have started this thread because he is trying everything to get me back so I need reminding about why I cannot go there! I would love to hear more actual stories on flakey people and how it progresses if poss?
konfuzd Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I dated the king of flakes for about 3-4 months... I was stupid to let it go on that long, but I learned never to allow that again. This was what ended our relationship: He called my house one night and left a message that he'd like to take me to dinner the following night. He would pick me up at my place when I got off work. Fair enough. I go home after work, and wait, and wait and he never shows. I tried to call him about an hour later, but he wasn't home and doesn't have a cell. He was known to be 2-3 hours late at times (I know I should have dumped him the first time) So I wait another hour. At this time, I'm famished. I haven't prepared anything for dinner in anticipation that I'd be out, so I end up getting take-out. I finally get hold of him at about 9:00PM. He had totally forgot he'd left that message, and gone out with his buddies. I told him it was over at that point, but he convinced me that he'd make it up to me by taking me golfing the next day, and spending the entire day with me. Stupidly, I believed him. I get my golf clubs out of storage the next morning, but he never showed up. I called his house, and when his brother answered, he told me that Mr. Flake was out golfing, and he left about 2 hours ago. He couldn't even be bothered to show up for his promised make-up date. That was the last straw. After that incident, I adopted a zero tolerance for flaking. The next guy who stood me up found himself sitting on the curb immediately.
Author Lishy Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 Wow thank you Con bloody hell that was an amazing flakey man story!!
SarahRose Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I dated Mr Flake with a capital F! Later on your realize the extent of their disrespect and self absorption but like many of you have said, it sort of sneaks up on you and you forgive and continue on for awhile. There are so many stories so I'll just post a couple that really stand out. 1. He completely flaked out for an entire month in Dec and stood me up for Boxing day We used to live in different countries. I arranged to spend 3 months in his country. The day I arrived I called him from the airport and he was so casual like whatever and I asked him if he was coming over and he said he didnt know and it would be a surprise. He didn't come. The next day he was supposed to come over and then he says he has some gaming party to go to and wanted to do that instead. Ok I hadn't seen him in 6 months and flew 11k miles for him. Finally he calls me around 1am saying he was at the train station. Later I find out the reason he came back was because he was locked out of his sister's apartment. Oh I was ready to leave his country and fly back home at that point but the airfare to change my ticket was just so outrageous during the holidays I had to wait until January. He tells me he was coming over for Boxing Day. Never showed up. No call no nothing. Worst Christmas I ever had. I was so done! He even lied about having that week off from work. January he turned it around and acts his normal self so I didn't leave. 2. Was supposed to pick up dinner on the way home from school and didn't do it. I was starving too and he said this guy from school gave him a ride home so he didn't stop and pick up the chicken. Oh but he managed to get himself a meat pie and sit there and eat it in front of me! 3. Blew me off when I was supposed to pick him up from school. I had a rental car and I told him I would pick him up from school that day. He told me what time and which parking lot and everything. I get all prettied up and go over there. I am about 15 minutes early and text him I was there. I wait. It's time and I don't see him and see everyone else leaving. I try to call his mobile. It just rang. I waited another 5 minutes and called him. He answered and said he was walking home! I said umm I am in the parking lot like you said to pick you up. He said no, I told you I was walking home. I was livid and just said well see you back at the place and hung up. He got there and we got into it. He kept claiming I misheard him and that he told me he was walking home. I said it was bs as why would he tell me where to pick him up at and why would he want to walk all that way when he had a ride. I was even more angry kept trying to make it my fault and said I had no reason to be angry. So yeah total disrespectful flake! Lesson learned: don't ever put up with it as you'll find out the first time they do it, they just keep on doing it.
konfuzd Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Haha... it's great hearing & telling these stories in hindsight. Don't take the dude back!!! It took 2 years after King Flake of dating/ditching other duds before I met a fantastic and completely reliable man. I think I needed the experience of the losers to truly appriciate the man I have now though.
XNemesisX Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I have a good friend that is the queen of flakes. I'm probably the only person that doesn't get completely pissed off at her simply because I have a tendency to flake out sometimes too. Because of her, I have tried very hard to NOT be that way but occasionally I do find myself bailing out on plans last minute. It will happen because I change my mind and end up not wanting to go do whatever it was that was planned or feel too drained/tired that I feel like I physically cannot do it. I tend to make all these big plans thinking I will have the energy to do it then find that there is no way I can. I tend to be a low energy person and so is my Flake Friend. Flakiness is probably my worst trait...blowing off plans and not answering the phone or calling people back like I should. I'm seriously working on this right now. I think that flakiness could be seen as a sign of the person not being interested or it could be that they just don't end up feeling like doing it - could be too tired from work. Sometimes things sound good at the time you make the plans but not so much later on.
TigerCub Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 I dated a flaky guy for a little bit, he did the tipical flaky stuff like calling and making plans, then not calling and then letting the day of the date pass without a word and all that crap... I'm not patient and I have a short attention span, so obviously that couldn't work - I miss him sometimes though - UGH!!! if only he wasn't a flake, he coulda been great
Star Gazer Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 When you first meet a guy you are on the lookout for behaviour that proves he is not that into you or he is really into you When it creeps up on you and you dont even realise it is happening it is surely an eye opener! I agree. However, IME they're usually flaky from the get go, making the determination whether they're a flake in general or flaking for a reason (i.e., lack of interest) difficult.
Author Lishy Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 OMG SarahRose, that was awful of him! This is exactly the problem, I know that he didnt flake through lack of interest in me and this made it all the more confusing! He would show how much he loved me and things would be great and then BAM he would flake on me with no warning! I forgave him time and time as he always had such a good reason - Then one day I woke up and smelled the roses and they smelled like doo doo! Thank you everyone for your help and stories, I just needed a reminder as to why I should never take him back cos he is trying every trick in the book, he will never stop flaking I guess that is just who he is! More stories if poss?
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