Daranhatu Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I've posted my recent (7 months ago) breakup on here and since then I've moved ahead with my life, but of recent weeks something strange has been happening with my ex, (who I'll call "Janet") that I'm looking for some insight on. Since we broke-up, I've made friends with another girl (who I'll call "Grace") in my office - though it is strictly platonic. I've helped her out in situation and vice versa, needless to say we've become real good buddies, leaving the office together, having lunch and so forth. The last couple of weeks though, "Janet" who still works there, has been focusing her glances at me ( which she'd never done after the breakup ), dressing a little more provacative and kind of making herself more visible. A week ago "Grace's" birthday came around and as a token of our friendship I bought her a bouquet of roses and had them sent to the office, which really made her day. I know what you're thinking -- but we ARE strictly platonic! Anyway, after that "Grace" indicated to me that "Janet"( who had broke things off with me ) has been giving her the "evil eye" look and being very dismissive towards her. Finally, things came to a head last week, when "Grace" called me to say that "Janet" had come over to her desk and indicated to her that -- "She felt hurt hearing and seeing how close friends Grace and I had become, and Janet revealed that she and I once were an item, and admitted that she'd been angry with Grace for the past few weeks because of our closeness, and she felt that it was a disrespect to her." In addition, she made a plea to Grace NOT to tell me that she'd come over to her to say this -- which of course Grace being MY friend she did. To all intents and purposes, Janet made it known to Grace that she didn't like us being so chummy and politely asked her to stop. To keep things stable, Grace agreed that she would. Grace also told me that her facial expressions were heavy with emotion, as this was hurting her for real. Since that encounter, both Grace and I have been expecting some kind of reaction from Janet toward me as she saw it as an obvious declaration of feelings for me by Janet. I'm skeptical however as since that day Janet has made no eye contact or otherwise with me. My innermost feeling is this is a "peacock-strut". But, I will admit that I still have feelings for Janet and would like it to be what Grace believes it to be and have decided that I would take another step at re-connecting with this girl, if for nothing else but to finally put a lid on all this. But, I'd like some opinions, advice, etc, from this board. What do any of you think about this?
Author Daranhatu Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 I'll admit that while I've moved on, I still do love Janet. I can't deny those feelings, but I am not dying for her like before. If she is thinking about "us" again, I wouldn't be opposed to giving her a second chance, but things would be very different than before.
Billie63 Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 She's interested in you again because she thinks Grace is interested in you. It's very dangerous because it's got your hopes up all over again - there's nothing more attractive to a woman than her ex boyfriend getting attention from someone else. You really should say to Janet to butt out of your life, leaving her in no doubt that Grace has spoken to you. She will then either butt out or go all out to win you back. But you might get back together with her for the wrong reasons and she will dump you again for the very same reasons she dumped you before. You've come a long way in 7 months - don't let her mess with your head again.
JooLee Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 well, you have to be careful here cos she might just be jealous and being selfish. she's probably expecting you to still be wailing over her and seeing that you have moved on and laughing with someone else really got her. you know the term "being happy is the best revenge" she might be back in your life, although you shouldnt be keeping your hopes up. you think you know a person and then you realise you can never truly do. keep the chin up at all times.
Author Daranhatu Posted September 24, 2008 Author Posted September 24, 2008 I hear what you all are saying and I'm of a mind to agree - to be honest, I find all of this very amusing and it's certainly gotten the best of my curiousity. I'm looking at this more from a lesson in human psychology more than emotional desire. I have decided though that one way or another this week I'm going to finally get to the bottom of all of this with her. Grace has agreed to "feel" her out for me, since I'm not supposed to know about their conversation, I don't want to make Grace look bad. From there, whatever the response Grace gets, I'll jump in with whatever modified approach I have to take on. If you're all interested, I'll let you know what the outcome was.
Billie63 Posted September 24, 2008 Posted September 24, 2008 yes do let us know. i'd be interested in what she's got to say.
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