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Posted

what are your opinions on those e-books that cost a fortune on how to get your exes back? first of all, none of them seem to be written by anyone with any credentials. second, the websites themselves appear very gimmicky - like a horrible infomercial but written out word-for-word.

 

have any of you read them?

 

and they are just more or less scams, is there any worse way to profit off another person?

Posted

I have read Stop Your Divorce! and it has been a god send.

  • Author
Posted
I have read Stop Your Divorce! and it has been a god send.

 

how so?

 

btw, i just broke no contact *again tonight. i was good all day, had him blocked from my emails/instant messages and so on. i went to the gym all evening. he called while i was at the gym and i missed it. i didn't know if i should call back, bc i had gone to his house earlier today while he was at work to pick up the rest of my clothes and i was afraid he had a question to ask me about that. anyhow, he called just to see how i was doing. i kept it friendly, and his favorite show was on at the time, so we got off the phone. the best thing is not to make anything of that phone call, right?

Posted
what are your opinions on those e-books that cost a fortune on how to get your exes back? first of all, none of them seem to be written by anyone with any credentials. second, the websites themselves appear very gimmicky - like a horrible infomercial but written out word-for-word.

 

have any of you read them?

 

and they are just more or less scams, is there any worse way to profit off another person?

 

 

There is ONE book, not an e-Book, that I always recommend to people who are experiencing marital troubles.

 

"Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson. He is a Doctor of Psychology and relationship issues. The advice he gives in the book is excellent when you need to know how to handle someone who is pulling away or threatening divorce. Unlike the e-Books, he doesn't promise your marriage can be salvaged. What he shows is how to regain your confidence and dignity through a very trying period in your life.

 

The e-Books, they are mostly trash. Schemes to get your lover back never work. It's scheming. It's not a solid analysis at the aspect of the relationship for what it is and why they are pulling away or leaving you. You need to know where YOU went wrong (confidence, self-esteem, needy/clingy behavior, etc) and fix yourself. That is the only thing you have control over.

 

How your ex perceives you, there is little you can do about that. Once they have made up their minds and have moved on, it would take an act of God to change their mind. And you have zip/zero control over them. So the best thing you can do is work on yourself. Fix the issues you have, get back into shape, work out, get new hobbies and make yourself happy alone. Once you can do that, then you'll be ready for someone new.

 

The best advice I can give anyone experiencing heartbreak is to LEARN from your past mistakes. Each relationship teaches you something about yourself. Learn from that, grow and take the knowledge with you to the next relationship so you do not repeat the mistakes of the past.

 

Each failed relationship brings you one step closer to finding the RIGHT person for you. No e-Book is going to do that for you. All e-Books do is offer false promises and hope of a reconciliation. A reconciliation that would happen regardless of the advice given in the book. If you just stick to NC and move on with your life, if your ex wants you back, neither hell nor high water will stop them from finding you.

 

Just ask Foxh1234. He is a living example of what can happen when you just fix yourself and forget the ex. And FYI, when she did come back, he was smart enough to say "No thank you!"

 

Cheers.

Posted

You've never been married, though.

Posted
You've never been married, though.

 

No, you're right. But I have read the book and it works for ALL relationships, not just marriages.

 

I don't have to have been married to know what sound advice is.

Posted
I have read Stop Your Divorce! and it has been a god send.

 

 

I read this book too, curious to how it's helped you? Out of all the ones I read, that one is the best.

 

 

The guy here steals some of the stuff in the book if you want to check it out before buying:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t96092/

 

I also found some good advice on this site: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/

 

Most of the other stuff is on these forums..no begging, going n/c, review the relationship and why it went wrong and do you really want them back, make a list of the good and bad, and stuff. Sure they can't work voodoo and guarantee to get your ex back, but it can increase your chances of maybe getting them back.

Posted

The way that Stop Your Divorce! has helped me is to help me be confident, and to put things into perspective. And its all about making yourself into a better person which in the end is what will have you be attractive to others.

  • Author
Posted
There is ONE book, not an e-Book, that I always recommend to people who are experiencing marital troubles.

 

"Love Must Be Tough" by Dr. James Dobson. He is a Doctor of Psychology and relationship issues. The advice he gives in the book is excellent when you need to know how to handle someone who is pulling away or threatening divorce. Unlike the e-Books, he doesn't promise your marriage can be salvaged. What he shows is how to regain your confidence and dignity through a very trying period in your life.

 

The e-Books, they are mostly trash. Schemes to get your lover back never work. It's scheming. It's not a solid analysis at the aspect of the relationship for what it is and why they are pulling away or leaving you. You need to know where YOU went wrong (confidence, self-esteem, needy/clingy behavior, etc) and fix yourself. That is the only thing you have control over.

 

How your ex perceives you, there is little you can do about that. Once they have made up their minds and have moved on, it would take an act of God to change their mind. And you have zip/zero control over them. So the best thing you can do is work on yourself. Fix the issues you have, get back into shape, work out, get new hobbies and make yourself happy alone. Once you can do that, then you'll be ready for someone new.

 

The best advice I can give anyone experiencing heartbreak is to LEARN from your past mistakes. Each relationship teaches you something about yourself. Learn from that, grow and take the knowledge with you to the next relationship so you do not repeat the mistakes of the past.

 

Each failed relationship brings you one step closer to finding the RIGHT person for you. No e-Book is going to do that for you. All e-Books do is offer false promises and hope of a reconciliation. A reconciliation that would happen regardless of the advice given in the book. If you just stick to NC and move on with your life, if your ex wants you back, neither hell nor high water will stop them from finding you.

 

Just ask Foxh1234. He is a living example of what can happen when you just fix yourself and forget the ex. And FYI, when she did come back, he was smart enough to say "No thank you!"

 

Cheers.

 

it's funny you said that. i have probably read and reread james dobson's chapter 'love must be tough' in his book 'life on the edge' a dozen times. i find it very true what he discusses about time needed to bond, the glue needing to dry, pulling back and giving space, etc. the most ironic thing is, after we broke up, my ex and i were still spending time together. he was avoiding me while i was being needy, but would seem to make time otherwise. then, one night, i brought out the book and, for fun, we read the chapter together. he seemed genuinely interested, and said, "it's true. if you just give me some space, i'll be back." probably what i should have got from that was that i was a very lucky person to have a guy like him, whether as a bf or an ex, sit down and really explore those issues with me. i didn't listen to the advice that was clearly in front of me, though, and i became needy again shortly, driving him away. now, i'm pulling back and he's called tonight again (i've moved out.) i guess i should just have some faith?

Posted
it's funny you said that. i have probably read and reread james dobson's chapter 'love must be tough' in his book 'life on the edge' a dozen times. i find it very true what he discusses about time needed to bond, the glue needing to dry, pulling back and giving space, etc. the most ironic thing is, after we broke up, my ex and i were still spending time together. he was avoiding me while i was being needy, but would seem to make time otherwise. then, one night, i brought out the book and, for fun, we read the chapter together. he seemed genuinely interested, and said, "it's true. if you just give me some space, i'll be back." probably what i should have got from that was that i was a very lucky person to have a guy like him, whether as a bf or an ex, sit down and really explore those issues with me. i didn't listen to the advice that was clearly in front of me, though, and i became needy again shortly, driving him away. now, i'm pulling back and he's called tonight again (i've moved out.) i guess i should just have some faith?

 

Go buy and read the entire book. But this time, follow the advice!

Posted

Caliguy based on your advice I have purchased this book.

Posted

I have spent thousands of dollars on e-books, 'expert advice', psychics (I know, dont laugh), and anything else I could think of. I tried all the strategies the books gave, and it never worked. EVERY book on getting your ex back states, even though you dont see it until afterward, that the best thing you can do is to accept that its over and might remain that way. The tips they give are nothing more than manipulation tactics, most of which just dont work.

 

The honest truth is that when a woman tells you theyre done, you can believe it. Yeah, maybe somewhere down the road things could work out, but the chances are slim. And NOTHING you can do will make anyone feel differently about you.

Posted

Why, yes... most e-books are gimmicky. I steer clear from them.

Posted
what are your opinions on those e-books that cost a fortune on how to get your exes back? first of all, none of them seem to be written by anyone with any credentials. second, the websites themselves appear very gimmicky - like a horrible infomercial but written out word-for-word.

 

have any of you read them?

 

and they are just more or less scams, is there any worse way to profit off another person?

 

I've purchased a few and downloaded a few.. Basically they say to go NC and work on improving yourself in a nutshell. I can send you some information if you want to PM me your e-mail..

Posted

I'm starting to read "It's called a BREAKUP, because it's BROKEN" and I find it very good. It doesn't miraculously take the pain away, but it does help or give some comfort in understanding why things ended.

amandaparker503
Posted

Caliguy: Are you a therapist. You always seem to talk straight , i love it. Oh and if thats you in the photo, you are cute to! ha ha ha. Shame your not from London! lol. I just love reading your advice and could do with a man like you to wake me up and get me out of my current state of mind! Loving your work!

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