spookie Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Every evening I come home from work, roll a joint talking on the phone to my mom on the floor in my empty carpeted living room, and smoke it standing over the sink in my bathroom, still in my work clothes, my hair all made up, and I think about him. I let my heart break for Wesley. I febreze the s!ht out of everything afterward, as though that would ever fool anyone. Some days it's something new. Some days I find whole new reasons I love him. I'm always falling in love with him. But others I just sit there and feel my heart breaking for him because it's such a familiar, comforting feeling. My only way to feel close to him. Longing. My love for him is the only thing I have ever believed in. I knew it so completely, with every cell in my body, that I was well past the point of being able to trick myself otherwise. I don't believe in religion. I don't even believe in science. But that he's my soulmate, that we were made to be together, the only one I could ever want to stay with, no matter what, forever, ... this I have always believed. And missing him, grieving his absence, feeling this big giant whole in my life where my most important person, the one impossible to find, used to be....is my only way of understanding anything. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for being dumb enough to actually lose him. The one impossible to find.
Nemo Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I haven't been keeping up, but can't you get naked with your supervisor? Sometimes one really needs a distraction when in a world full of hurt.
Author spookie Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 I haven't been keeping up, but can't you get naked with your supervisor? Sometimes one really needs a distraction when in a world full of hurt. Lol. Best advice ever Nemo. Why do you come here to screw up people's lives? (jk)
Nemo Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Why do you come here to screw up people's lives? I have this theory - that there is only so much crap that the universe can sustain at any one moment. The more that happens to other people, the less that's around to happen to me. Sadly, as I can attest, there is no limit to the amount of crap that can happen to any one person.
Author spookie Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 I have this theory - that there is only so much crap that the universe can sustain at any one moment. The more that happens to other people, the less that's around to happen to me. Sadly, as I can attest, there is no limit to the amount of crap that can happen to any one person. That's a pretty uncomfortable vision of reality.
CherishG Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 um, u guys just totally lost me now in this thread....
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