SweetTux Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I have a question about going NC... How do you do it without the other person getting all mad about you ignoring them? Maybe I'm not at that place yet since I still care about what she thinks/feels/says... I know I should stop but its hard.
nickelinadime Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 You can't care. You need to just do it and not answer them. Don't pick up their calls, don't text, and in my case, don't even make eye contact when they decide to take the bus that you're on, even though she ditched her friend to see me.
EmperorR Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I went NC, today i contacted her i was weak and we ended up fighting the good thing is I don't know I feel good, i got everything out I wanted to, now i honestly don't care if she comes back. I feel good, maybe that was my remedy
WiseOne1 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I have a question about going NC... How do you do it without the other person getting all mad about you ignoring them? Maybe I'm not at that place yet since I still care about what she thinks/feels/says... I know I should stop but its hard. Thats a very very good question. When I use to go NC with my ex, she would call maybe 5 or 6 times and I wouldnt answer, then she would send me a TXT message saying that "I know your ignoring me, all you had to do is tell me you didnt want to talk to me" So after awhile of NC that get upset and mad that you dont want to talk to them, to me this is selfish, and they want there way. They want to be able to **** other people and still have you in the backgroud, I got more respect for myself to put up with being the "emotional tampon" while they go out with other guys. But you cant care, do read any txt messages, delete them before you view them, because you cant care about there feelings if they dont care about yours.
EmperorR Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 this is what i did first i left my cell phone at home when i went to wokr then i was like why? Second, dont reply to any txt anything, print out something saying, she doesn't care about you, she doesn't care about your feelings your nothing to her. Whenever you want to text just read that.
WiseOne1 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 this is what i did first i left my cell phone at home when i went to wokr then i was like why? Second, dont reply to any txt anything, print out something saying, she doesn't care about you, she doesn't care about your feelings your nothing to her. Whenever you want to text just read that. Yea I had a typo, "DONT READ ANY TXT MESSAGES" I meant, delete them before there opened.
BCCA Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 To be honest, you'll see her true colors when you just ignore a couple calls. If she's anything like my ex, she might call once, not leave a message, and never bother again. Some women are more persistant. Either way, after a week without a response to anything, they'll give up.
BackonTrack Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 I'm so glad I am pass the stage of caring what my ex is doing. I've been NC about 6 months. Haven't heard a peep from her, I sent a drunken text few weeks back. Its about the only time I broke NC. 1 text in 6 months. Thats not bad.... Turns out she left me long ago but was only coming around because I was paying her, turns out she was in two relationships and didn't know which one to choose. Ofcourse I found out & grew broke up with her, then went back for her mutiple times, in the process she became cocky and decieded she officially didn't want to be with me. Now that I look back on it, I gave her the floor to deciede what she wanted to do as opposed to making her decision final. I think I helped her move on faster. I even saved her new relationship, with the guy she was cheating on me with. How nice am I?? Aww I am a nice guy. Thats pathetic. I had a few rebounds after, roughly 3. None worked out. One girl I'm seriously considering taking up on her, if only, she hadn't cut her hair to be with in a relationship (last resort). I've went on a few dates, with females I haven't had sex with. 3 dates with 3 different females, of the 3, all 3 is relationship material. Of the 3, 1 backed out (she decieded to stay with her BF), the other I don't know whats her deal (I think I took to long, she thinks I'm a nice guy, I think she lost interest), the other wants to know I will stick around before we have sex. As about seeing a person's true colors when in NC, that statement is true. In my case, I saw my ex true color like right before she departed, and it was not good. I was the backup plan. She didn't feel bad for cheating on me. Hell, she even thought I deserved it. But to answer your question. If the other person doesn't want it to end, and you are ignoring them. They will get really upset. They will keep trying, then do a desperate move. This desperate move will either make you contact them or make you keep walking. Eitherway its a process and its going to take atleast 6 months before they leave you alone.
Intergalactic Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 well, my ex never cheated on me, and he hasn't hooked up with anyone to spite me or show he's over me, and he cried every time we talked about "us" so i guess i don't hate him, he just couldn't handle the relationship anymore. so when i decided to go NC, i told him? i just said i needed time, don't know how much time, but it had been 2 months since our break up and i wasn't finding it any easier and i needed to cut him from my life for a while, and that i was going back home to do that. and that when i was ready to talk again, i'd contact him. he was very upset, let me know he wants me in his life, and then said he respected my choice and wouldn't talk to me til i was ready.
BackonTrack Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 atleast it didn't end in betrayal. Your ex has no reasons for hatting you so when you detach yourself to the point when you want to talk just give him a call. He'll Still love you & want to try again. I have plenty of reasons for hatting my ex, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I don't think I would answer. I doubt she plans on calling. I texted her few weeks back after being NC for about 5 months. No response. Looks lilke she really moved on. She wasn't lieing. She stop being a liar so thats good. She also hasn't looked back so she's staying strong. She tried for so long to get away, she finally did. She must be happy, hasn't contacted me at all. Sorry I'm not over it, rambling a little.....
Intergalactic Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 atleast it didn't end in betrayal. Your ex has no reasons for hatting you so when you detach yourself to the point when you want to talk just give him a call. He'll Still love you & want to try again. I have plenty of reasons for hatting my ex, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I don't think I would answer. I doubt she plans on calling. I texted her few weeks back after being NC for about 5 months. No response. Looks lilke she really moved on. She wasn't lieing. She stop being a liar so thats good. She also hasn't looked back so she's staying strong. She tried for so long to get away, she finally did. She must be happy, hasn't contacted me at all. Sorry I'm not over it, rambling a little..... not sure if this was an answer to what i said but it sounds like it might have been so i'll answer it anyway i'm definitely not saying that no one should have a reason to hate their exes. after coming on this board for the past couple of weeks, i've realised just how rare my break up was - that there was no cheating involved, that he didn't dump me for someone else, that he still cares about me and all that. however, at this stage, while i can't deny hoping that he'll want to try again at some point, after some time and distance and personal growth, i can't let myself believe that will happen. i'm doing this so i can get over him enough to a point where i can just be a friend. i'm sorry that your ex is so hard hearted. it must be awful, but you also have something to keep pushing you forward on the NC path - with me, it's so hard because i know that at any point, i could pick up contact and have him involved in my life again, but if i did, i'd never get over this. sometimes, as selfish as it sounds, i DO wish that he'd done something horrible to me - instead, he's a great guy, handsome and considerate and funny, and i can't stop loving him because of that. i can't stop wishing i hadn't ruined it by making it so stressful for him. no need to apologise for rambling or not being over your ex - that's what we're here for!
Author SweetTux Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 I guess you guys are right. Just do it and don't care and don't read anything or listen to voicemails. Its hard though. Sometimes you just get so curious and you want to see what they want. Oh wells lol.. I think it'll be easier these days since she doesn't text everyday or every other day like at the beginning. Wish she would just leave me alone so I could get over her... Oh wells...
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