Tower233 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I'll try to keep this short. I met someone almost two years ago. We are both married but get along so well. I haven't seen her in almost a year but she continues to contact me even though she has stated that her family comes first. There was a time where she didn't contact me at all and it has become more frequent over the last month. She messaged me last night and said "please get out of my head". The long and short is we get along so well. There is chemistry, butterflies for both us and all of this has been innocent. Meaning we have never kissed or anything. He have spent a lot of time together going on walks and we talked on the phone for hours most days. But that was all about 4 months ago. Four Months ago I made it clear that we can't talk and continue this way as she will lose everything in her life. I feel in love with her and she did with me. But being in love and being together are two different things. In any case we decided not to talk anymore as it is impossible to be friends when we both have these feelings. So last weekend she actually called me. Has sent me messages for the last month and openly admitted that she thinks about me all the time. She actually said "please get out of my head". About a year ago we both expressed that we loved each other a lot but the timing wasn't right. So what do I do if I want us to be together? I feel like cutting all ties completely and blocking her from msn may help but I'm not sure. I want to be with her but obviously she doesn't want to be with me otherwise she would be. I completely understand her children coming first and that is the way it should be. 1. Why is she still calling me? 2. Do you think there is any way or approach to help bring us back together? Please any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! As you know being in the situation it is hard to see an objective point of view.
Angel1111 Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Having been there and done that, this has heartbreak written all over it - as most affairs do. I got involved with someone and thought he was leaving his wife. He didn't and it tore me up. Sometimes I'm not sure if there really is any difference between people who actually consummate the affair or not - the impact seems to be the same when the heart is deeply involved. She's contacting you because she misses you and doesn't want to lose you. The only way you can make this right and be together is to both leave your marriages. Otherwise, don't go down this road. It will rip you to shreads. Not only that, but you'll have the added guilt of hurting her children, her husband, and your spouse. That's a huge burden to carry into a relationship. If you just have to be together, then do the right thing and get out of your marriages first.
Author Tower233 Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 Thanks for the response. You are absolutely correct. I did leave my marriage as I didn't think it was fair to my wife that I had those feelings. I've tried many times to tell her not to contact me as if her husband finds out it will destroy everything she has. But at the same time I'm happy that she messages me as I miss her dearly. Obviously she is not leaving her marriage and wants the best of both worlds I guess.
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