Lonelystar Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I have recently been dating a new guy. He seems very nice and we get along pretty well. We were talking about random things, and some how ended up talking about our exes. He was telling me about a story about his ex, and how she looked good in a dress he had picked out for her. Usually, when I like someone I feel a bit of jealous, but I felt nothing. After I came home from the date, I suddenly felt very sad. However, it wasn't for him, but for my ex. I realized how much I miss my ex, and that maybe I wasn't ready to jump into dating. This guy is perfect in every other way, but I don't understand why I don't feel anything for him. He has everything my ex lacked, but I still miss my ex very much. It has been a couple of months since we ended our relationship, and my ex has been e-mailing me. He tells me that he wonders if he made a big mistake. I'm not going to get back with him, but I just don't know why I can't get over him. I'm in a funk, and I just feel so hopeless.
jolie78 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 it kinda sounds like you miss your ex after a bad date. you say this guy is perfect in every other way, but he discussed how good his ex looked in a dress he bought for her...? sounds a bit clueless and not perfect at all to me. sorry you feel bummed.
HopeDiesLast Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I have recently been dating a new guy. He seems very nice and we get along pretty well. We were talking about random things, and some how ended up talking about our exes. He was telling me about a story about his ex, and how she looked good in a dress he had picked out for her. Usually, when I like someone I feel a bit of jealous, but I felt nothing. After I came home from the date, I suddenly felt very sad. However, it wasn't for him, but for my ex. I realized how much I miss my ex, and that maybe I wasn't ready to jump into dating. This guy is perfect in every other way, but I don't understand why I don't feel anything for him. He has everything my ex lacked, but I still miss my ex very much. It has been a couple of months since we ended our relationship, and my ex has been e-mailing me. He tells me that he wonders if he made a big mistake. I'm not going to get back with him, but I just don't know why I can't get over him. I'm in a funk, and I just feel so hopeless. i understand lonelystar. i dated someone after the break up with my ex- about a month after we broke up. way too soon. i let it go a little longer with a few more dates and just last week- nothing still. i dont know. im not one to put a time frame on when you can meet someone new. i think if its there, its there. maybe it just wasnt. maybe you're not over your ex and just need a little more time on your own. if this guy really likes you and you're not that into him, then you shouldnt continue to see him. or at least let him know where you stand. good for you for trying something new though. this will help you figure out yourself if nothing else.
Author Lonelystar Posted September 22, 2008 Author Posted September 22, 2008 it kinda sounds like you miss your ex after a bad date. you say this guy is perfect in every other way, but he discussed how good his ex looked in a dress he bought for her...? sounds a bit clueless and not perfect at all to me. sorry you feel bummed. Yeah, he is a bit cluless i suppose. But it wasn't that he kept talking about how good she looks or anything, but trying to point out that he likes certain things on a girl. It didn't even matter though, I wasn't even a bit jealous. The date wasn't bad really. He is very nice, and tells me i'm pretty and is a gentleman, but I feel nothing.
Author Lonelystar Posted September 22, 2008 Author Posted September 22, 2008 i understand lonelystar. i dated someone after the break up with my ex- about a month after we broke up. way too soon. i let it go a little longer with a few more dates and just last week- nothing still. i dont know. im not one to put a time frame on when you can meet someone new. i think if its there, its there. maybe it just wasnt. maybe you're not over your ex and just need a little more time on your own. if this guy really likes you and you're not that into him, then you shouldnt continue to see him. or at least let him know where you stand. good for you for trying something new though. this will help you figure out yourself if nothing else. Thanks for the advice. I have told him about my situation, and I think he understands. He says he wants to wait, but I don't know if I want him to. I just don't know if the break up with the ex is preventing me to open up to other people. If the circumstances were different, I'd probably really like this guy. We have a lot in common, and I think he is an amazing person. I just don't understand why I am still not over someone who broke my heart.
HopeDiesLast Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 probably just cus it takes time. I felt the same way too about the guy i dated. i thought i could get really into him but maybe it was too soon after the break. then going out with him last week i realized....nope, just not that into him. It could be that too! Try again if you have to be totally sure.
thirtythree Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I just don't understand why I am still not over someone who broke my heart. It's because before they break your heart --- they make your heart. Sick, huh?
Author Lonelystar Posted September 23, 2008 Author Posted September 23, 2008 It's because before they break your heart --- they make your heart. Sick, huh? Yes, it is. I wish I could go back in time and relive some of the happy moments.
EmperorR Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 ya I feel nothing towardz other females but eh what can you do
Author Lonelystar Posted September 25, 2008 Author Posted September 25, 2008 Well, I just figured out maybe my ex isn't the reason I don't feel anything for the new guy I was dating. Today broke the straw on the camels back, and I realized maybe I'm better at spotting *******s than I thought I was. This guy was a perfect gentleman till tonight, but it was just an act. He called me and we were talking and joking, and then suddenly he called me "a bitch". I was shocked, and maybe I am taking this way to seriously, but never have I been called that by an ex or anyone for that matter. He apologized, which is fine but it was a deal breaker for me. I did tell him before that I was unsure about how far this would go because I just got out of a relationship, and that I did not want to lead him on. He suggested we take things slow, which was fine with me. However, after tonight I ended things. I don't know if I'm overreacting...do you guys think I am?
allxxs84 Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 it takes time to feel something for a new person. your heart isnt in it yet, thats why you felt no jealousy. 6 months from now if you were still dating this guy, that same comment might hurt you deeply. you need time and many new adventures to heal and get over an ex before you will be able to give a new person a real chance. after evey new date, we will think about an ex, and then one day we wont! thats when we know!
You'reasian Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 Well, I just figured out maybe my ex isn't the reason I don't feel anything for the new guy I was dating. Today broke the straw on the camels back, and I realized maybe I'm better at spotting *******s than I thought I was. This guy was a perfect gentleman till tonight, but it was just an act. He called me and we were talking and joking, and then suddenly he called me "a bitch". I was shocked, and maybe I am taking this way to seriously, but never have I been called that by an ex or anyone for that matter. He apologized, which is fine but it was a deal breaker for me. I did tell him before that I was unsure about how far this would go because I just got out of a relationship, and that I did not want to lead him on. He suggested we take things slow, which was fine with me. However, after tonight I ended things. I don't know if I'm overreacting...do you guys think I am? Sorry to hear about that. Did you tell him something that made him call you that? Or was it out of the blue?
smosch Posted October 12, 2008 Posted October 12, 2008 To me, it just sounds like this new guy is no where near right. Not the right person or time. I would break it off and schedule a date with your ex. Talk and catch up, tell him its been hard. I'm not saying get back with him, unless that's something you both decide after a true heart to heart talk. I'm saying tell him you hope you can have him as someone to trust. If you build that up, you may not feel as bad, because you could be able to talk about the new guy to your ex, and he could help you and you could know you're not moving too fast.
Author Lonelystar Posted October 13, 2008 Author Posted October 13, 2008 Well, he called me a "a bitch" because of something I said. It was in a joking way, but it took me by complete surprise. I figured I was over-reacting, but this new guy was just an ass either way. I tried giving him another chance, because he kept calling, but he kept talking about his ex and how he didn't believe in being with one person. As far as my ex goes, I would love to catch up with him but I'm not over him yet. I'm scared it would just make things worse. He still tells me he loves me, but that isn't the same as "i want to be with you". He says he doesn't want me to be out of his life, but I don't know if I can "just be his friend". Why is all of this so complicated? I know it will take time to get over my ex, and those comments would of hurt me if I really liked this guy. I think it may have been a combination of both that prevented me from feeling jealous, or even want to be with the new guy. I need a break from men, and figure myself out first. I just hate feeling lonely, and now that the holidays are approaching it really sucks.
You'reasian Posted October 13, 2008 Posted October 13, 2008 Well, he called me a "a bitch" because of something I said. It was in a joking way, but it took me by complete surprise. I figured I was over-reacting, but this new guy was just an ass either way. I tried giving him another chance, because he kept calling, but he kept talking about his ex and how he didn't believe in being with one person. As far as my ex goes, I would love to catch up with him but I'm not over him yet. I'm scared it would just make things worse. He still tells me he loves me, but that isn't the same as "i want to be with you". He says he doesn't want me to be out of his life, but I don't know if I can "just be his friend". Why is all of this so complicated? I know it will take time to get over my ex, and those comments would of hurt me if I really liked this guy. I think it may have been a combination of both that prevented me from feeling jealous, or even want to be with the new guy. I need a break from men, and figure myself out first. I just hate feeling lonely, and now that the holidays are approaching it really sucks. hmmm, well whatever you said in a joking way got a quick response. yeah, it'll take some time to get over your ex, but you will. good luck.
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