amandaparker503 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 Hum, my ex sent me a text today telling me that he has made changes in his life, he is seeing someone now, making time for friends and family and not walking around with his work phone on all the time. ITS ONLY BEEN 5 WEEKS. I really wanted to wake up to that text at 6am today.! For those that have read my past post, we split back in May, he meet someone 4 weeks later, he didnt know what she was to him. However we got back together. Split again and this time its been 5 weeks and he has met someone again. Now i am just a little miffed over this all. I can hand on my heart tell you all that his guy did love me, he loved me , wanted my child, house , the whole thing. I was the one, who pushed him away due to what i now understand as being depression and the fact i didnt really heal over past issues that have happend to me. When we split he told me he was really deeply affected by this relationship. (It was up and down like a rollercoaster) I am miffed as he seems to have a amazing talent it would appear of meeting people so quick. How can he do that. Why tell me. He said it was scary how much he loved me. Is he over me that quick. For me , i feel i would be daft to go and meet someone so soon after a break like this one, it would not be fair on the other person or me. We both fell head over hells in love and were a bit obbessive over each other. Can he really get over me that quick I feel calm, if anything a little scared that maybe he just didnt feel anything for me. I cant change the fact he is with someone, my day will come. I have spent 5 weeks personally , trying to deal with depression and cope with what i class a loss. I miss the guy, but he has been unable to talk to me for weeks, one day hello, the next nothing, and i never get eye contact. The other thing is , maybe i am crazy, but i wonder if it is true, i say him every day last week as we are in a small down, he was always working or with his mate. I juist think when and how on earth do you fit it in. It is so hard to meet people these days, but then again, he is a personal trainner , so maybe it is eaiser, or maybe it is the same person again as last time, again who ever that was. I dont know, its just weird. We have mended bridges, we are talking, we are going to be friends, i am OK with that. He told his friend he had a failled marriage(13 years) , a failed relationship(me) and that he wants time to find himself and heal...ERM, that wasnt true! The other thing is , when we were together, i always tried to encouge him to go see his mates, family and turn the work phone off. NEver would he do it. In fact when we split, he told me i was weird for saying he should spend time with his mates. This guy lived his life for me, i mean everything was for me, everything he did , i would be put first, even before his own kids. I feel quite scared now, quite scared about it all. I blamed me for everthing at the start, i was not in a good place you see, he did do evertying for me, but he also controlled me, didnt trust me,was jealous, and this is as damaging as me pusing him away all the time. I guess neither of us was any good for each other, yet we strangly loved each other like mad.
BCCA Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 The only thing I can really say here is that when you push someone out of your life, you cant really control where they'll end up. It is possible to move on so quick, but I'm sure he still has feelings for you. Are you the one that officially ended things? If so, he might think you'll be happy to hear that he's doing ok and doesnt hate you.
amandaparker503 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 We ended it together, then went on holiday and got all cosy and happy again, got back and he ended it for real. Everytime we aruged , he would end it! , it was a little pattern to our relationship. I stalked him for a week! lol. Well i texted and did the whole NO NO NO thing! Phew!, just a hell of a 2 years and a nightmare 5 weeks. Hate all of this.
EmperorR Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 My girl of three years dumped me two weeks later feelings for this guy at school. Even though It will probably fail because it's a rebound, I think some peoplE, move on quick to try and not dwell on the past
MrEELB Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 My Ex started seeing some one, 1 month after our 11 year relationship spralling pictures of here and her new chap all over facebook. Shocked is an understatement, but I guess she is an ex so what can I do. Gutted perhaps but really not sure I can feel any thing about it right now.
CaliGuy Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 The reason people seem to move on to the next relationship so quickly is that emotionally they have checked out of the relationship with you weeks, sometimes months before they actually break up. They keep you around as a safety cushion in case the new person they are interested in doesn't feel the same way. Once the feelings are reciprocated, they dump you and move on to the next relationship. It's really that simple. And if you think about it, you could tell they were pulling away emotionally. Not calling or hanging out as often, not bringing you on trips or meeting with the family, not saying they love you much (if at all), being secretive about their whereabouts. The signs are there, you just have to pay attention. Cheers.
Ingenue Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 It is possible. My ex (though I'm on NC) is hitting the dating scene. As the dumpee, I'm surprised and slightly shocked that I'm struggling to put the pieces of my life back together, and he's already trying to hit it off with other women. As others have said, partners check out long before the actual breakup. In retrospect you begin to recognise the signs, but when you're living in that moment, you relegate those uneasy feelings as nothing more than "hmmm". While I know we all have different times to heal, I'm often amazed at how quickly and capably people can move on. Perhaps I dwell too much, but as I come up on the 3 month mark of my break up, I'm only now beginning to contemplate dating and I know in my heart, I'm not ready.
amandaparker503 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I am not so sure though CaliGuy. One week before the split, we had a row. He went down my phone to see who i had been texting and let it slip. Now i am new to this area, i am a single working mum who studies at night. I am with this guy all the time and i text him all the time, i even leave my phone around the place , i have nothing to hide and would never cheat on him ever. I was really not happy with this, he thought i was cheating or what ever he thought it was unfair. So anyway i told him and i said look if you cant trust me, what is the point. He came and hunted me down, walked into a gym full of people and said to me i am so sorry, i want you so bad, look at me, let me feel you want it to. Then he cried , said all he wants is our child. He told me every day he loved me. If i did not text him 100 times a day it was not enough. He was bang in love with me, lived his life for me.I can not see at wot poing he checked out with me. But on the other hand , i would never know, as i am starting to think he is one of those people who are very emotionally expressionate, because when we argued that is when i found out what he was unhappy about, never before. You may be right, he may have had time to think in his head, this was not working, it was a bit passionate and sexual and just firery. It was up and down. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I am confused now! I guess it does not matter, i cant change the fact he moves on really quickly. I just cant do that personally, i would still be thinking of him at times, until he is out of my head and mind and locked away in my heart, i wont use another man for my emotional blanket.
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