He is going to Vegas this weekend!!!!

[porter218]

How is it the same? Her watching another person stripping is not the same as her stripping off for other people

 

I completely disagree with this. If ones SO can enjoy watching other women strip then how is any different for other men to enjoy watching her strip. Its the men who are the visual creatures and the women who enjoy that type of attention. I would certainly rather my H strip in front of other women than watch other women stip infront of him. SO to me it is equal and fair IF that is how he chooses to act in the relationship.

I 100% agree with you. At least that way he would come home with more money then he left with:D.

[zxcirce]

Yeah, and randomly hooking up with some stranger (or stripper) is NOT something my boyfriend would do anyway, even if it wasn't restricted. He's not a man to go for a "one night only" hookup. He likes "clean girls" and would probably be too afraid she would have a disease or something.

 

This is all that matters.

 

I work as a stripper, and I don't give "extras" to any man who pays me for a lap dance. Some strippers do, it's very true. But if your boyfriend doesn't want these extra services, you're fine.

 

Yes, some dancers are hookers. And some men want sex or sexual favors when they come to a club, and seek it out, and might get it, or not, depending on if a dancer working at that club at that time is willing to do it.

 

If the man isn't seeking sex, it's very rare that a stripper is going to offer, and then perform, that act when she could easily just dance and walk away with her money.

[porter218]

Cheating aside, I would just find the idea of my man going to a strip club while far from home very disconcerting. At least at home you know he can come home and make love to you but what happens with that hard-on out of town??? What does he do(assuming he will not cheat)??? Go back to his hotel room and jack off fantasizing about f-ing the stripper:sick:?? Nice:rolleyes:. I just wouldn't like it. Nothing could make me comfortable with the idea of such an extreme bachelor party.

[Lauriebell82]

Cheating aside, I would just find the idea of my man going to a strip club while far from home very disconcerting. At least at home you know he can come home and make love to you but what happens with that hard-on out of town??? What does he do(assuming he will not cheat)??? Go back to his hotel room and jack off fantasizing about f-ing the stripper:sick:?? Nice:rolleyes:. I just wouldn't like it. Nothing could make me comfortable with the idea of such an extreme bachelor party.

 

Yeah, that's a little bit why I feel uneasy about it. But, he won't cheat, most likely he'll call me drunk and want to talk dirty to get it out of his system. He has told me before that when he sees hot girls at bars it reminds me of him and I get a drunken phone call telling me how hot and sexy I am.

[JamesM]

Yeah, this has been a very interesting thread, I must say.

 

Hopefully, all sides presented have made you realize that your fears may be groundless.

 

Personally, while there is no way I would follow the path he is taking, I doubt that he will be unfaithful to you in this situation.

[porter218]

In all truth it is too late to cry over spilled milk. You made the mistake of okaying this whole thing way back when. Maybe in the attempt of seeming like the awsome GF but not being true to how you felt. You need to just start sticking up for yourself from now on. You can't go back and change what you did here...you told him it's cool so he is going. But next time don't mislead him into thinking you are OK with stuff that you are not. That is the source of a lot of your anxieties. You are the one allowing this stuff to happen and even though you tend to at some point tell him you aren't happy with it you seem to do it in such a wishy washy way that it doesn't even sound like you can convince yourself... especially not him. I think it must be a little confusing to be him.

[Krajt]

Hopefully, all sides presented have made you realize that your fears may be groundless.

 

Personally, while there is no way I would follow the path he is taking, I doubt that he will be unfaithful to you in this situation.

 

Then why scaremonger?

[porter218]

Then why scaremonger?

Because even the best of bfs misbehave in Vegas when traveling without their gf. But the fact remains that LB allowed for this whole mess to happen so it is too late to do anything except hope for the best.

(I know, I know...You weren't talking to me)

[Jersey Shortie]

Ha! I was waiting for that comment. No, I like and respect my girlfriend too much to be misogynistic. Do I care about other women, barring friends, and immediate family? No, not particularly! Does that make me a misogynist? I suppose so! ]You spelt misogynist wrong btw

 

I spell everything wrong.

 

I think what would make one misogynistic is not applying the same principals to themselves that they do the other gender.

 

 

Clearly, human beings are naturally amoral in pretty much every aspect of their life. Would I go to a strip club at a bachelor party? Yes, because it's a bachelor party?[/

 

Excellent..then if you aren't doing anything wrong and the stripper isn't doing anything wrong, there is no possible way your gf would be donig anything wrong by deciding to strip.

 

Would I grope over the women who are there? No, because I have self control, too many women stereotype men based on a spectrum of algae and it's deeply unfair. Would I look at the women and say "man these women are hot?". Yeah, most probably, I didn't realise it was cheating to look and not touch, in which case if it is then I've cheated on my girlfriend a few hundred times throughout the duration of the relationship. A small minority of men who have done so have given narrow-minded women the chance to stereotype

 

]There are stereotypes for a reason. Sometimes they are breed out of truth. If something was such a small minority, there would be no stereotype.

 

If Laurie's boyfriend cheats on her, then I hope she finds out and ditches him and finds a man who has self control, but to stereotype every person who goes into a strip club as being misogynistic, unfaithful and sleazy is very harsh.

 

I don't remember anyone saying that a man who goes to a strip club is misogynistic. Sleazy and unfaithful are debatable.

 

 

How is it the same? Her watching another person stripping is not the same as her stripping off for other people and yes she can strip if she wants to, not that she will do, she's not like that. But if she does, she can, but she won't have me as her boyfriend anymore.

 

While the action isn't the same, you forget to relate how men and women are turned on. Women are not turned on by men the same way men are tunred on by women. Women do not react to naked men, even if they are super hot the same way a man reacts to a naked women. You have to think what is more intune with her as a woman enjoying. Most women love male attention and flattery. I don't think women in relationships should be going out to get that from other men.

 

]If a man is not doing anything wrong by goign to a strip club, his girlfriend wouldn't be doing anything wrong by stripper. You trust her right? She is coming home to you right? She just wants guys to look at her, that's all. It's you she wants.

 

I digress, you feel so strongly that she wouldn't be your gf anymore if she did want to strip as a lark sometimes, then you can imagine the way some women can feel when they know the man they love is putting himself in a sexual environment with other women. [/FONT]

 

 

If you would not let your woman strip yet you feel that it is okay to watch strippers, then you have a double standard that betrays the actual reason that men like strippers.

 

Exactly.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

GEEZZZ,

 

He is going to act childish with his friends, induldge in too much to drink, loose some money, and come home feeling like he had a great time with the boys.

 

Laurie,

 

He is not going to cheat, he's going to have fun. How in the world are you going to have a great weekend while you are worried about this. Can we please just start a thread on fun ideas that LB can do to have a great and adventurous weekend? Heck, he could go and sit in his room and puke his guts up the entire weekend and she's is still going to be a wreck after a thread like this.

 

Do you have any crazy adventurous friends LB?

[JamesM]

Then why scaremonger?

 

Because I am presenting what I believe to be a real scenario. However, this does not mean that Laurie's BF will fit my scenario.

 

If we all simply said..."don't worry, be happy," then this does two things IMO:

 

1. It belittles LB's concerns as ridiculous, which I don't believe they are. Based on the many stories I have seen here, numerous GFs and wives have discovered that their BFs and husbands have cheated with strippers. Many are deeply offended that their men chose to look at other naked women when they said that they would be faithful to one woman.

 

2. We do a disservice to LB because she has some concerns and she wants some feedback. My feedback still stands as the way I see it.

 

Having said that, it is likely that the BF will have a good time and move on in life. If anything happened, then it will stay in Vegas.

 

When a man is hungry, he may eat the hamburger in front of him...even though he has a steak dinner waiting at home for him.

[Lauriebell82]

In all truth it is too late to cry over spilled milk. You made the mistake of okaying this whole thing way back when. Maybe in the attempt of seeming like the awsome GF but not being true to how you felt. You need to just start sticking up for yourself from now on. You can't go back and change what you did here...you told him it's cool so he is going. But next time don't mislead him into thinking you are OK with stuff that you are not. That is the source of a lot of your anxieties. You are the one allowing this stuff to happen and even though you tend to at some point tell him you aren't happy with it you seem to do it in such a wishy washy way that it doesn't even sound like you can convince yourself... especially not him. I think it must be a little confusing to be him.

 

I told him I was worried, but didn't tell him I didn't want him to go. I honestly want him to go, I just wanted to discuss my fears with him so he knew. I don't see why he'd be confused, I'm not telling him not to go. If he came to me with concern over me going to Las Vegas with a bunch of girls I'd listen to him understandly and tell him the exact same thing he told me. That he understands how I'd be a bit freaked out, but he reassured me that he will miss me and that he is going to show his friend a good time and support him.

 

Voicing concern, and controlling him by telling him not to go are seperate things.

[Lauriebell82]

GEEZZZ,

 

He is going to act childish with his friends, induldge in too much to drink, loose some money, and come home feeling like he had a great time with the boys.

 

Laurie,

 

He is not going to cheat, he's going to have fun. How in the world are you going to have a great weekend while you are worried about this. Can we please just start a thread on fun ideas that LB can do to have a great and adventurous weekend? Heck, he could go and sit in his room and puke his guts up the entire weekend and she's is still going to be a wreck after a thread like this.

 

Do you have any crazy adventurous friends LB?

 

Well, she is party crazy, but I made plans with a friend for Friday night to possibly go out to the bar or just stay in a drink and watch chick flicks. Then Saturday I am going to go to Zumba in the morning, then go to the mall in the afternoon and buy myself something pretty. Then I am going to go to my parents and go out to dinner with them, rent a movie, and sleep over at my parent's townhouse. I never see them so it will be nice to spend some time with them. Then Sunday I don't have any plans of yet, but I'm sure I will something interesting to do. Then Monday is work, and then my boyfriend will be home Monday night!

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Do you have any girlfriends with a big grudge against an ex??? You could all dress up in camo and roll their house! :bunny:

[porter218]

I told him I was worried, but didn't tell him I didn't want him to go. I honestly want him to go, I just wanted to discuss my fears with him so he knew. I don't see why he'd be confused, I'm not telling him not to go. If he came to me with concern over me going to Las Vegas with a bunch of girls I'd listen to him understandly and tell him the exact same thing he told me. That he understands how I'd be a bit freaked out, but he reassured me that he will miss me and that he is going to show his friend a good time and support him.

 

Voicing concern, and controlling him by telling him not to go are seperate things.

The only reason why you "honestly want him to go" is because you know that is what he ideally wants to hear from you...

There is honestly no point in discussing your fears if you fully intend on telling him 'oh honey, it is a great idea..go have a blast in Vegas with your wonderful friends without me'. Admit it in a perfect scenario you would have him tell you ' Well honey, my friends invited me to Vegas with them but I don't think it is a good idea to run around Vegas strippers with my single friends while I am in a good relationship like what we have.' .You always let him mind f*** you into believing that you actually want him to do these things that originally you aren't cool with. It is hard for a man to know what you want when you don't know what you want.

[Krajt]

Because even the best of bfs misbehave in Vegas when traveling without their gf. But the fact remains that LB allowed for this whole mess to happen so it is too late to do anything except hope for the best.

(I know, I know...You weren't talking to me)

 

I agree with you!

 

Excellent..then if you aren't doing anything wrong and the stripper isn't doing anything wrong, there is no possible way your gf would be donig anything wrong by deciding to strip.

 

The thing is I am not sitting down watching, no touching, and I am not revealing my body to the strippers. If she was to strip for men, she would be revealing her body to them. How is that the same as what I am doing? It's the opposite, I am the customer and she would be the worker. If she was to do the same as I would then it would be the same.

[JamesM]

If I could speak for LB here, then I do think she wants him to go to Vegas. What she doesn't want but has resigned to being part of the trip, is the bachelor party at the stripper club.

 

If this party was at a regular bar without strippers, then this thread would never have been written....and we would have all missed having this enjoyable discussion.

[porter218]

 

The thing is I am not sitting down watching, no touching, and I am not revealing my body to the strippers. If she was to strip for men, she would be revealing her body to them. How is that the same as what I am doing? It's the opposite, I am the customer and she would be the worker. If she was to do the same as I would then it would be the same.

Her motivation would be money....Yours would be lust.

 

Hmmm, which one is worse and more disrespectful to a relationship..That's a hard one.

[JamesM]

Her motivation would be money....Yours would be lust.

 

Hmmm, which one is worse and more disrespectful to a relationship..That's a hard one.

 

Well said. I was just thinking of how to word this, and then I see you said it already.

[Krajt]

Her motivation would be money....Yours would be lust.

 

Hmmm, which one is worse and more disrespectful to a relationship..That's a hard one.

 

Her motivation would be to lust too, the lust of other men all over her, yes! That makes her as bad as me then doesn't it? Even though I've only been to a strip club once and didn't enjoy it.

 

Man, you can't win with women, why couldn't I have been gay, not only are they more attractive than straight men and most women, they don't have to put up with them.

[JamesM]

Her motivation would be to lust too, the lust of other men all over her, yes! That makes her as bad as me then doesn't it? Even though I've only been to a strip club once and didn't enjoy it.

 

 

You have made the point that we have been trying to show you for quite awhile.

 

However, you are wrong. Her lust is for money not men. Yet you are right in that the idea that men would be looking at your wife/gf with the idea that they want to have sex.

 

And this is why women are concerned when their husbands and boyfriends go to strip clubs to look at other women. It is their motivation.

[porter218]

Her motivation would be to lust too, the lust of other men all over her, yes! That makes her as bad as me then doesn't it? Even though I've only been to a strip club once and didn't enjoy it.

 

Man, you can't win with women, why couldn't I have been gay, not only are they more attractive than straight men and most women, they don't have to put up with them.

Actually, I have dated a stripper and I have been one(briefly along time ago). And I hate to be the stripper to break it to you(lol) but they don't do it for lust....it is only the $$$. It is just a job.

[Krajt]

Don't care, I lost the debate and I don't like losing.

 

I still don't agree that watching strippers is as bad as stripping. Strippers are scum and the fact they do it speaks volumes for their morals or lack of as the case maybe.

[JamesM]

Don't care, I lost the debate and I don't like losing.

 

I still don't agree that watching strippers is as bad as stripping. Strippers are scum and the fact they do it speaks volumes for their morals or lack of as the case maybe.

 

 

And it speaks volumes for the men who watch them.

 

BTW, nobody loses here. We all win.

 

Personally, I do not believe they are scum. They have made a choice to capitalize on their assets. I look down more on the MM that go and see them.

[AriaIncognito]

I got to page 4 and couldn't take it anymore so I apologize if I reiterate anyone elses thoughts.

 

1.) Some posters on this thread act as if going to vegas equates to him cheating. Last I checked, they don't hand out vacant vaginas at the airport when you land. I've been there, I looked, I didn't see ANY.

2.) Just because you go to vegas, and even go to a strip club does NOT mean you have any intention of cheating! Why is one being linked to the other? The fact that LB doesn't like him going is another point, but one thing certainly doesn't mean the other will happen. Just because you go to a store, does it mean you always walk out with a purchase? No. Sometimes, you're just browsing.

3.) I can't believe people are implying that because he didn't offer for her to come with, that he doesn't love her. One doesn't imply the other! Shoe on the other foot, and she was going to a bachelorette party, and she was posting that he didn't want her to go without him, people would probably be up in arms about the fact that he wouldn't give her space/didn't trust her.

4.) Being aroused by another man/woman isn't a curse. It's not wrong. What's "wrong" is acting upon that arousal. Anyone that can sit here and tell me that they are only attracted to their SO is lying their a$$ off. We are human. We are attracted to others. It's how we respond to the attraction that matters. Most of us with consciences, won't act upon it.

 

Going to Vegas isn't like a guaranteed score. If it were, then well, I want my money back. Just because there are half naked women (and men) around doesn't mean they are going to steal everyones SOs away. People that are going to cheat, will do so in Vegas or Boise. Doesn't matter. Women on this thread that are trying to imply otherwise, well, personally, I think you're setting women back quite a few years.

 

The only issue at hand really, is the fact that LB is indeed insecure. This isn't new news to her. We've reiterated it to her on several threads. I know I posted in one of her more recent saying I'd suggest she go for counseling, and she agreed that she probably could benefit and was working on her insecurity.

 

My bf went to Vegas a few weeks ago. I wasn't thrilled about it, but well, I trust that he didn't do/wouldn't do anything. He called me pretty much everyday from there and told me about his day (as he does when he's home) so there's not much more to think. I was on his mind enough obviously, as I'm sure LB will be on her BFs mind. And well, if she's on his mind, and he loves her, there's nothing to worry about here.

 

Vegas isn't all it's cracked up to be. If it were, everyone would be running there to get their rocks off. Don't worry about it, have a good weekend with the girls, and when he comes back, give him a big hug and tell him you missed him.