Chibaby Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I feel like where I live, I will never fit in, and never be the person I want to be. Maybe it's mental, but I feel like if I moved to another state where I don't know anyone, I would be a such different person, in a better way. I am sure of this. My husband doesn't understand, and thinks it is all in my head. I am confident though that it would make such a big difference. Does anyone else ever feel this way or am I just crazy?
beautifulearth83 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 You're actually just crazy. Just kidding. I've felt that way. And I did move. The first move I made was college. I went to a college where I found a lot of people like me. Then I moved back home and I felt the same way again...and now I've moved again...in with a friend from college. Though now I have a new perspective and miss the people from home and love them just as much as anything. So for you the best advice I can give is if you wanna try something different, do it. If that's not possible and you stay where you are...I guarantee there are people there you can connect with and feel like yourself around. All you have to do is follow your interests. Say for instance if you paint, you'd probably want to go to art classes. Follow your interests and your heart. I'd be interested to know what kind of place you live in though. Is it a small town in the country? Is it a city? What makes these people so much different than you?
Author Chibaby Posted September 22, 2008 Author Posted September 22, 2008 I live in the Pacific NW in a big city. I don't know if it's the people that are different or just the people I seem to make friends with. I just feel that people I meet really just are interested in their own cliques-I bounce around from the people that are similar to my culture, interests, hobbies, etc...but I find they keep to themselves and have all these inside jokes, and don't really like to bring in people from the outside. They also claim to be loyal, but if a better opportunity comes along, they won't be there for you or they'll flake out and stand you up. It just seems like everyone around here is so into themselves....think LA types but in granola gear disguise. I realize it takes time to cultivate a friendship, I just feel like I've cultivated so many bad seeds around here. Some call it the Seattle Freeze, although I've lived here most my life I still get it. Maybe it's just the reality of human nature and I'm in denial, but I would hate to be such a cynic. I did do a stint in college in Arizona, which I liked, but I did miss living by the ocean. I am not shy, and consider myself somewhat pretty and attractive... and easygoing, but I just have a problem really feeling comfortable in this city. There is no sense of community. Gosh, maybe it's just the rain that makes me feel so miserable here...I'm not depressed and I have a lot of "friends", I just feel like getting out of here would do the trick. I think we will move in the next few months, but I just don't know where to go that will be different.....and a good fit for both my husband and me.
beautifulearth83 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I understand. I think most big cities may be like that. It's hard to find that place where you really feel connected to your friends and it's more of a collective thing. You'll find it...it just sounds like this is a step toward finding it...so at least you're moving in the right direction. I'd recommend moving somewhere that has a healthy art community or a good softball team you can join. I don't really know what you and your husband are into though...just throwing out ideas. Good luck to you and hope I've helped at least a little bit.
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