joybean72 Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 Pretty sure I came here to LS a year ago full of contempt & hatred...Yup! I did! And it was directed at the OW and my stbx. (If ya look at my past posts, yeah I was bitter!) I am in a better place now...I know that he actually did me a favor. I haven't heard the words, "Sweetie"...or "Babe" or "Sexy" for YEARS..and ya know what...It kinda feels good!!! Now that I know what REAL caring is all about...Not trying to discount anything...we just weren't meant to be together in hindsight. I know I am destined for someone else...cheesy, I know! I guess my post is directed more to the OW that are waiting around....YOU DO deserve better than the scraps you are being thrown...we all do! I'm realizing it now. No disrespect by posting...we all deserve to feel loved. :-) Good luck to you all!
GreenEyedLady Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 I'm glad that you are in a better place and realize what you're worth... Good luck to you! GEL
NewSunrise Posted September 22, 2008 Posted September 22, 2008 Hey Joybean, OK to lurk as a BS. Most people regardless what current status they are in lurk first before they have the courage to post. Glad to hear you're in a different stage of your life and what seems to be a better place. As a former BS, I have to say that I have gone through hell and came back a stronger person. A true believer of the cliche "things happen for a reason" or "everything has a purpose", things happened the way they were supposed to be. Stories told by BS and OW/OM flow with the the same script of events with expected results. Pain of betrayal is the same regardless which side they're on The difference? Each individual who are involved in these affair whether MP, OP or BS have a choice to either hang on to see what the future may hold or walk away and decide the future for themselves. Unfortunately, what is often dismissed or forgotten is that each path that is chosen is another choice----a choice to learn. And if the individual is unable to see that choice, they will be given other opportunities. Some will get it. Some will take longer while others may never get it. Keep moving forward.
Author joybean72 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Posted September 22, 2008 I have learned a lot by the hurt I read from your OW's/Om's posts as well...we are the same in a whole lot of ways...I don't condone how it came about, but I get it. Hope we all find what we are looking for...we all deserve it!
Author joybean72 Posted September 22, 2008 Author Posted September 22, 2008 Thanks GEL & NewSunrise. Had ya asked me a year ago...I wouldn't have known what end was up really! I was fighting hard to save something that was destined to fail from day one...thats my sob story though. (I've had a few! lol) Another learning experience...yeah I'm butt hurt, live n learn though! So now I am learning from you all and if I can help you in any way, just ask...I'll try to answer as honestly and less judgmental than I have been in past posts. Still going through my divorce.
NewSunrise Posted September 23, 2008 Posted September 23, 2008 Hey Joybean, Sometimes, divorce is the only best left thing to do. Hopefully yours can be accomplished somewhat smoothly? Took a year for D to finalize to the tune of over $16K, but worth every penny even if xWH made twice as I did. In the end, his true colors came out. I'm also a true believer that you have to be dragged into a dungeon in order to see the light. If you don't, how will you know the difference? Today, I'm happily involved to such an awesome guy who treats me like gold that I'm moving to his home state. He was under my nose after all these years. Several weeks ago, xWH has been asking about me from our former neighbors. And he's using the same attorney to sue his sister over their late mother's estate. Pitiful... Your experience and what you are going through will be a valuable asset to LS. So hang around. Would love to hear more about your story. <<<<HUGS>>>>
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