Bleh, It starts again

[SadShamrock]

I'm actually embarrassed to be writing this. I know there is no set formula or or time limit about getting over an Ex, but I feel like I'm losing it right now, because I just want this to end.

 

My ex is playing such mind games with me, and it is breaking my heart. I'm not sure if he is playing mind games, or he is really just a selfish prick.

 

My ex broke up with me almost a year ago (1 year in 2 weeks). Since May, he has started to call me. He'll drop into my life every now and then. He'll do (at least what seems to me) really selfish things, and he just breaks my heart again.

 

First-

 

He and I started to talk very frequently in July. He came on very strongly. That I was the "best" had not and that I was also the best friend he had. He started calling me all the time. We live far away. He asked me to come down for the 4th. I said I had to look into at work. I wasn't able to get the time off- and when I told him this- he said, oh don't worry, cause Barbie (name to protect the innocent) is coming down anyway. I met her at my mom's funeral, and we used to be friends. Ummm. Ok. Thanks. Maybe you can come down another time.

 

So the 4th passes by- No, sorry, you can't come down another time. Things worked out reallly well with Barbie and It wouldn't be fair to her. So I lost it....and said it was really unfair to do that to me, and it was very hurtful. And I got yelled at for crying. he also asked me why couldn't I just relax and enjoy life?

 

So we lost contact again. I actually was so disappointed by how he treated me that I didn't miss him anymore because I didn't miss his behavior towards me.

 

So i started to feel better. I started to date someone new. And things were wonderful

 

So a few weeks later. I get called again in August. Hi there....just calling to see how you are. I answered that I was doing well, but I couldn't really talk because I was at work, but I'd call him back later that night. He stated- oh no, sorry you can't call. I'm going to this big show. My response was- wonderful- good for you- have a terrific time! (I was an idiot for answering the phone).

 

So two hours later, I get a call from him, but I missed it. I called back. He didn't answer. At 1 in the morning, I get a call from him. Oh my god, you would have loved that show! It was great. It was the kind of thing you'd love. Oh ok, that's awesome. I'm just on my way home now from dropping Barbie2 off. Oh ok. Why did you call me again later? Oh I didn't mean to- I was trying to call Barbie2. Oh ok, thank you again!!

 

So he called me a few times after that. Telling me that he would like me to visit. He wants to hang out. He doesn't have anyone to hang out with like me anymore. There is no one to talk like me. Blah blah blah.

 

So what does this idiot do? Calls him drunk off her arse the other night. And asks him all the questions she's been crying over for the last year!

 

Why do you bother with me anymore?

- Cause you are fun to BS with.

 

You know that it is hurtful when you sort of throw these other girls in my face? You know it was really hard for me to get over us.

- Yeah, I know. I didn't do it on purpose. I'm not spiteful. I just don't think about stuff I do sometimes.

 

Well, what is it? Is it that you don't have anyone to talk to?

-No, I just feel like talking to you sometimes cause I can talk to you about stuff.

 

Well, you tend to hurt me a lot cause you do things thoughtlessly.

- Why do you have to be like this? I wouldn't call you if I knew you would be like this.

 

Please don't call me then. Cause you are honestly breaking my heart over and over, and you know that I let you do it I just let you coming back for wheneever you need it. So please stop and respsect that i can't stay away from you but you physically hurt me.

- Yeah ok. I'm going to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I can't deal with this now.

 

No, please respect me. Please for me. Don't call me anymore. It will kill me for a while, but I can't get over you when you keep coming back to me.

- Ok, you and I are going to do this for the rest of our lives. You'll always be sad, and you'll always cry.

 

So, leave me alone.

 

I finally hung up. It was stupid but why do men do this? Why is he doing this to me? Better yet, what is wrong with me that i let someone use me like this?

 

When I asked him out straight, if he still had feelings for me or if he still thought about me- he said not at all. So I asked why couldn't he just let me go completely for my own sanity. And he just then stated that I had to cry about everything all the time, and I just ruin everything.

 

I feel like I really am crazy. I can't stop picking up the phone when he calls. And I can't stop letting him mess with my head because I keep hoping- that he will finally apologize for all the stuff he did.

 

I'm so stupid. No one is going to read this. I feel like I'm losing it. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe.

[wareagle]

He sounds like a real big prick!! Go NC on his ass!!! Don't answer when he calls or texts or tries to get ahold of you from now on!! You will never be able to heal completely until this jackass is out of your life for good!!

[D-Lish]

You have to take some power back and cut him out of your life completely. He's thoughtless and cruel and going out of his way to hurt you. He obviously has issues if he gets a kick out of hurting you on purpose.

 

You do have to ask yourself why you allow him to to this, why you pick up the phone, call him back- keep him in your life.

 

The only way to heal is to go NC all the way- no exceptions.

[ahhhchooo]

Yes this guy sounds like a royal prick and probably will never leave you alone to heal. Don't give him the satisfaction.. don't pick up. Go as far as blocking his number so you don't get curious. I would really hate to be in your shoes in a year's time.

[SadShamrock]

Yeah, why I let him continue to do this is a big question. He is no prize. I don't put up with this kind of crap in any aspect of my life. Of course, I don't deal with anyone else like him.

 

I always fall for the reasons why he calls, too. I know that sounds weird, but he always has a strange reason to call me that gets my curiosity up- and then I call him.

[nickelinadime]

I suppose it's because he knows what gets you going. My ex and I used to do that to eachother until we finally agreed that it has to stop and we have to move on with our lives. Unfortunately, she decided she wanted to rub a random hook-up in my face. Oh well, what can you do?

 

Stay strong and don't pick up. Don't respond and he'll get the message eventually.

[SadShamrock]

Yeah, he definitely knows I guess. I told him flat out that I couldn't resist when he called, and sometimes the whole thing between us physically hurt. I confessed that he broke my heart really badly, and every time I talked to him- it knocked me on my feet again.

 

I talked to a friend about this, and she asked what would happen if he really stopped calling. She thinks he is well aware of the fact that I still love him, and he is taking advantage of me. I would hurt so badly if he never called again, and I know that I would keep checking my phone for a long time, and I know for a long time I will hope he calls, and it will be that phone call where he says he is sorry and he would do anything to make it up to me. That's the call that is NEVER going to come tho. So I don't know why I keep hoping for it. he's not that person, and I know he isn't. I just can't let that aspect our relationship.

 

I even said to him that I worry when i start to think less of him and I start to care a little less, because I know that as soon as I let go...all this craziness is over. I know that I'm the one who is allowing this to go on.

[nickelinadime]

That's the call that is NEVER going to come tho.

 

I know that I'm the one who is allowing this to go on.

 

I think you just solved your own problem.

 

That call is not going to come, so stop allowing the issue to happen. Life will be bad for a while without him, but it will get better as you meet new people.

 

I just found out today that my ex of 4 months, although we were still kind of together until a week or so ago, hooked up with an ex at a party to get over me. Unfortunately, she decided to tell me in vivid detail. To be honest, it hurts, but not nearly as much as it used to. No contact works like a charm.

[D-Lish]

Even if that call did come someday, how could you trust him

How could you forgive him for what he has put you through?

[SadShamrock]

You are right. I couldn't forgive him after everything. I know it's his loss. I know that he is the one who loses the most at the end of the day, and it's not like he is going to do much better. For some reason tho, I always feel like I've lost more. I guess at this point it's been a matter of losing my self respect, dignity, and sanity. And screw him, I'm ready to take those back.

[BCCA]

Its only natural when you've been rejected to want that person to come to you and tell you what a huge mistake they've made. Not only is that unlikely, but even if they did, its likely theyre not serious. He's only doing this to you because he has some sort of self confidence issue, and kicking you when you're down brings him some sick pleasure. If it makes any difference, if he was really such a ladies man, he would have no need to call you. He's only doing it to boost himself up by s**ting on you.

 

You're not stupid, you're very normal. You're a good hearted person, and want to believe that other people are the same way. This guy is definitely not. It's easy for good people to get taken advantage of, you shouldnt feel bad. What you SHOULD do is ignore this waste of space from here on out.

 

Karma is a ...

[SadShamrock]

Yeah, that whole karma thing. I keep wondering what I did! Here he lives a happy, carefree life.

[CherishG]

I also strongly believe in "karma" and it makes me wonder what I did in my lifetime to deserve all this... and when will it be his turn to deserve what he did to me...

[BCCA]

I also strongly believe in "karma" and it makes me wonder what I did in my lifetime to deserve all this... and when will it be his turn to deserve what he did to me...

 

Just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean you deserved it. To appreciate the view from the top of the mountain, you need to get a perspective from the bottom from time to time. Life is a balancing act, and sometimes it's nothing but bad times. But it all comes out in the wash, believe that.

[CherishG]

then y does it feel like it then? That he can go on life with no care or guilt as if the bad in this break up was my karma? my punishment whatever it may be...?

idk I'm kinda goin nuts over here